On the other hand, I felt that to allow myself to enjoy their company would have been to imply that my life had a degree of normalcy, which it did not.
Tajā pašā laikā mani nepameta sajūta, ka tad, ja es kā agrāk pavadu laiku ar draugiem, rodas iespaids, it kā mana dzīve jau ritētu normālās sliedēs, kaut gan tā nebūt nebija.