Regardless of the cause, using hurtful speech in marriage could indicate a lack of love and respect for one’s spouse.
فَكَمْ تُحْسِنُ هذِهِ ٱلْكَلِمَاتُ وَصْفَ ٱلْأَثَرِ ٱلَّذِي يَتْرُكُهُ ٱللِّسَانُ غَيْرُ ٱلْمَضْبُوطِ !‏