Email mishap: Own up, apologise and turn it into a positive
WE'RE all only human and may miss a mistake in an email we've just written – even after multiple proofreadings – and hit send. Oops! This can be embarrassing, at the very least. What to do?

If you can't recall the email, you should act quickly, but prudently, to undo any damage, says communication coach Michael Hasenkamp.

The least serious error is perhaps the corruption of someone's name by autocorrect, unless it's the name of an important client or customer. Forgetting to delete extraneous paragraphs, sending the wrong attachments or to the wrong email address can be trickier.

In all of these cases, Hasenkamp says, "you shouldn't lie low in the hope that no one will notice, but be proactive and point out your mistake."

This is often difficult, he remarks, particularly in societies where there are high expectations of people to do things the right way. "We don't admit our mistakes very often," he says of his German compatriots. "But there's a great opportunity to make something positive out of a mistake."

Minor, unresolved conflicts, many of them communication-related, can pile up, says Hasenkamp, a takeaway from his coaching. "Every word that tells others you don't simply pass over your mistakes, but apologise, scores points with them."

Mindful of mistakes

Hasenkamp calls this "placing lighthouse projects," which he describes as taking the time to react when you realise you've blundered. You won't only score points with others, he says, but will also end up making fewer mistakes, "since you're no longer indifferent to them, but mindful of them."

How best to react though? Your response should be clear and authentic, advises Hasenkamp. "It's also wise not to downplay the matter, but to emotionally amplify it." In other words, don't simply email a "sorry," but write, for example, "I made a stupid mistake and am genuinely sorry about it."

This, Hasenkamp says, is more likely to elicit an "it's not so bad – don't worry about it" in return.

The proper wording of your apology naturally depends on whether it's aimed at a colleague or a superior. "What's your level of communication with the person?" Hasenkamp says. "Rely on your gut feeling, and if you're unsure, then look at your previous correspondence."

A good guideline to follow is the person's own way of wording things in emails.

In some cases you shouldn't – or mustn't – confine yourself to an email of apology. If you've badly upset someone, you can close your email by writing, say, "Instead of me merely writing this apology, I'd like to get together with you over coffee to express my regret in person." – dpa
Communication coach Michael Hasenkamp says you shouldn't lie low in the hope that no one will notice, but be proactive and point out your mistake.