Input: Prompt: Write a section for a book about spanking that focuses on the use of implements. Begin by emphasizing the importance of testing any toy on one's own body before using it on a partner. Then, discuss the spectrum of sensations provided by different implements, ranging from sting to thud. Provide tips on aiming and avoiding wrapping, especially with long or flexible toys. Discuss the various types of implements in detail, including hands, paddles, straps, birch rods, floggers, and canes. For each type, provide a description, potential sources, and any safety concerns or tips for use.

Response:
9\. Implements

**SO YOUVE GOT YOUR BOTTOM WARMED UP** and panting for more. How do you keep up the good work? Part of your decision-making process may have to do with choosing and using spanking implements.

Responsible tops dont use a toy on anybody else unless theyve felt it on their own bodies. At minimum, give yourself several good sharp blows with a potential toy in a well-padded spot such as your upper back, thigh or butt. Better yet, have a trusted friend give you a few swats. This kind of precaution does not in any way diminish your authority as a top; it enhances it – youre not just a mean sonovabitch, youre a _careful_ mean sonovabitch.

You may hear spanking toys ranked on a spectrum ranging from _sting_ to _thud_. Stingy toys are felt mostly on the skin, with a sharp sensation; thuddy toys echo down into deeper structures of muscle and even bone. As a general rule, the heavier a toy is in proportion to its breadth, the thuddier it is. Stingy toys tend to leave welts and, with extreme use, can open skin; thuddy toys tend to leave bruises and can, with extreme use, cause damage to nerves and bones. Many bottoms have marked preferences for either sting or thud – which does not, of course, mean that you have to give them only the kinds of sensations they like, unless their preference is strong enough to be expressed as a definite limit.

Aim

Aim is important. I always enjoy looking at the aftermath of a spanking administered by a knowledgeable and experienced spanker: the rosy color is nicely concentrated in the sweet spot, with just enough pinkness spread around other parts of the butt area to let you know that the top wasnt too overly concerned with their bottoms pleasure only.

_A "slapper" - two layers of fairly heavy leather sewn together at the handle but left separate at the striking end - can be purchased inexpensively in shops that sell horseback riding equipment. The smack of the two layers striking each other adds to the fierce sound of the spanking, without making it physically any more intense._

This kind of control is easy with a hand, and only slightly harder with a short, inflexible implement like a hairbrush. But how do you achieve such attractive results with toys that are long, floppy, or otherwise unwieldy? To explain, I need to talk a bit about the physics of spanking implements.

Before you read onward, please go get something longish and slimmish – a yardstick, a feather duster, a stick, a riding crop, whatnot – just so you can see what Im talking about.

Now, take it in your right hand, hold your hand out to your side, and move it in a wide arc in front of you from your right to your left. What part of it was traveling the fastest? The tip, right? (It goes the farthest in the same amount of time: hence, its traveling the fastest.) Thats very important. The tip travels fastest, and thus is going to hurt the most.

Furthermore, even a fairly rigid implement, such as a cane or paddle, is not entirely rigid. A beginners mistake is to aim the center of the implement at the target. Youre standing there, looking at a beautiful butt, with a cane in your hand. "Aha," you say. "That right butt cheek looks just wonderful. I know – I will hit it with this cane." (I like the way you think.) So you aim the center of the cane at the center of the butt cheek, and let fly. Where is the tip of the cane, the part thats traveling the fastest, going to land? If the cane is very rigid, and youre not striking too hard, itll land harmlessly in the air. If the cane is brittle, it will snap off and youll have killed your cane. If the cane is whippy, it will snap around and score a nice hard welt, possibly even a blood blister, somewhere on your bottoms right hip, and your bottom will not like you one little bit.

Complicating this point is the fact that many people naturally tend to lean forward when they hit harder in order to put greater force of their bodies into the blow – even relatively experienced tops sometimes wrap unintentionally this way: theyve gotten their range with softer blows, then they go to land a hard one, lean forward and zing! right onto the hipbone. Got the picture?

Aim the tip of your implement at the area you want to hit, possibly even slightly a bit short of the area you want to hit to allow for overreaching.

A secondary point about aim: If you look at a butt thats been thrashed by someone whos never taken a thrashing themselves (or who hasnt been taught by a knowledgeable top), youll see marks from about the top of the buttcrack to about the bottom of the crease of the butt. However, about 90% of the bottoms Ive played with have a strong preference for blows that land on the bottom half of the butt and – often but not always – the top few inches of the thighs. The exceptions are almost always those who like their beatings to have a genuine flavor of punishment.

I have met very few bottoms who find anything erotic at all about blows to the top half of the butt. And almost no bottoms can tolerate blows anywhere in the area of the tailbone. (Im sure such a bottom exists _somewhere_ , because somewhere theres a bottom who likes anything in the world – but so far Ive never met one.)

So: unless your bottom tells you differently, I strongly suggest you concentrate your blows on the bottom half of the butt, and probably on the inner portion of each cheek. Ask about strokes to the thighs: some bottoms love them, some bottoms hate them, essentially all bottoms find them harder to take than strokes to the ass.

The cure for wrapping is a combination of practice and feedback. Tops: Before you use an instrument that is the least bit floppy or whippy on actual flesh, practice on an inanimate object such as a cushion, quilt or plush toy.1 (Yes, you may feel silly beating the snot out of Teddy, but thats better than feeling sillier when your bottom walks away from you with marks in places where they shouldnt be.) Bottoms: A top whos wrapping probably doesnt know it. Politely telling them that a stroke or two has wrapped, using whatever type of communication the two of you have established, is an important form of feedback, and will enable them to do their job better.2 (A top who chides you for giving polite and honest factual feedback during a scene is a top to re-educate or avoid.)

With long or flexible toys, its a good idea to learn to spank from both directions, so that the heaviest part of the spanking gets well distributed onto both cheeks. If the bottom is lying face down and youre moving around, this is simple: just walk from one side of the bed or table to the other. If theyre standing up, youll have to either learn to strike with your non-dominant hand, or develop your backhand. Either of these techniques may take a bit more practice than you used for your regular stroke, but will be well worth it.

Hands

While spankophiles are often avid collectors of paddles, straps, canes and the like – I know a few who own thousands of dollars worth – the fact is that you need no equipment at all to perform an extremely enjoyable and effective spanking.

Even if youve got a steamer trunk full of gear, I strongly recommend that you start your spankings with your hand. Handspankings offer a greater range of sensation than any implement ever could: gentle loving caresses, warm sensuous smacks, harsh stinging slaps, deep thuddy jolts. Moreover, spanking someone with your hand offers a tremendous amount of feedback. You get a much clearer idea of exactly what each spank feels like to your bottom, as the sensation is echoed into your hand.1

Many spanking aficionadoes enjoy only hand-spanking, and are frightened or offended by the use of implements for spanking. Thats fine – a skilled spanking hand is like a bag of toys at the end of your arm.

You can spank with fingers only, with the palm, or with the heel of your hand; with the hand flat or cupped; with a glancing blow that slides along the skin, or a straight-on smack; with a popping motion that snatches the hand away from the skin almost on contact, or with deep follow-through; with many quick little smacks covering wide areas, or with slow, hard spanks with long pauses between. Experiment with keeping your hand and wrist rigid, or leaving them floppy. What does it feel like when your fingers are held tightly together, or spread loosely apart? Try drumming with two hands, like you would on bongo drums…using the heel of your hand to deliver a heavy jolting blow upwards against the base of the butt…alternating hard strokes with caresses to keep your bottom off-balance and guessing.

It might be fun and educational to do a session or two in which you and your bottom experiment with these and other strokes, with lots of feedback about how each one feels.

One word of warning: if youre like me – a tender-handed person who plays with tough-butted bottoms – you may find that handspanking may all too literally hurt you more than it does them. Gloves can help. A close-fitting latex, vinyl, or lightweight leather glove can take some of the sting out of your hand and put it into their backside where it belongs. Padded motorcyclists gloves can help protect your hand from very heavy spanking blows. Also, many spankees enjoy the contrasting sensations available from a lace or fishnet glove, or a fingerless glove. Experiment.

Since the previous edition of this book, I have developed some arthritis in my hands. I generally do my warmup these days with a small leather paddle, but I do miss handspanking. A lot.

Paddles

I am using the term _paddles_ to cover the entire range of spanking implements that are broad, stiff and flat. Paddles range from fairly tame implements of stiffened leather through large, heavy wooden boards. Their sensation may be quite stingy – plastic paddles are often viciously so – or may thud down into muscle and bone.

Many people who have tried and enjoyed handspanking decide that the next logical step is to use a hairbrush, which is basically a small paddle. Be careful with this: hairbrushes are much nastier than many people realize.1 They concentrate the full force of a spanking blow into a small, hard area, so they hurt a _lot,_ and theyre likely to leave bruises. (One of my favorite spankees, an avid masochist who hugely enjoys intense floggings and canings, refuses to have a hairbrush used on her.) Same goes for wooden spoons.

To my mind, the logical next step up from handspanking is a well-crafted leather paddle. These are available in any leather store and most erotic boutiques, or if you are handy with tools you can make your own from stiff leather. An implement called a _slapper_ , basically a flexible, double-thick leather paddle in which the paddle ends are left unattached so that they smack together upon impact, is available in riding supply stores at a very reasonable cost, and also makes an excellent first paddle.

Perhaps more than any other spanking toy, paddles can be found in all sorts of environments. Paddles from games such as ping-pong can serve very well (a lawn game called Jokari includes large, round, plywood paddles that have something of a cult following). Housewares stores often sell big, solid wooden spoons, as well as wooden and plastic cheeseboards which make good heavy paddles. Thrift stores and antique stores sometimes yield novelty paddles with corny sayings on them ("Board of Education" and the like), as well as authentic fraternity paddles. One of my favorite and very nasty paddles is the rubber sole of a discarded martial arts shoe. Once you start looking around, youll begin to feel like youre surrounded by paddles.

Some paddles have holes in them; devotees claim that the holes diminish wind resistance, enabling the spanker to strike harder. While I have my doubts about that, there is no question that paddles with holes are stingier and likelier to blister or abrade skin. The holes also create structural weakness in the paddle, so these paddles are likelier than others to break.

In acquiring a paddle, look for a smooth, cleanly finished surface, with nicely beveled or rounded edges and corners – sharp edges are likely to cause damage. If the paddle is designed for striking, such as a game paddle or a paddle made especially for spanking, its unlikely to break unless used quite hard. If youre using something designed for another purpose, check it frequently during the spanking to make sure it hasnt cracked or broken.

Many paddles – even those made for the purpose – are, in my opinion, a bit large for good spanking play. If youre spanking with a large paddle, particularly if your partner has a small butt, you can hardly avoid hitting over and over again on the same spot. I prefer a slightly smaller paddle that I can keep moving over the entire area.

A special subtype of paddle is perfect for situations in which one or both partners are open to the idea of a paddling, but the bottom doesnt enjoy the sensation of pain. If you find yourself in such a situation, the foam rubber kneeling pads sold in garden supply stores are a great solution: you can swing them as hard as you can, they make a loud "whack," and they feel like a gentle _whompf_ on the bottoms behind. You can role-play as fierce a beating as you like without causing your bottom a moments physical discomfort.

Straps

For the sake of simplicity, Ill refer to any spanking implement thats long, narrow and very flexible as a strap.

Many bottoms absolutely love to be struck with a strap. On the other hand, a fair number of people have been nonconsensually beaten with straps as children, so these toys may have a stronger chance than other implements of awakening buried memories or strong emotions. In order to avoid such occurrences, I recommend that you negotiate the use of a strap before you haul one out and start flailing away.

The classic strap, of course, is the tops belt, and the sound of a belt being tugged out of its loops sends a special shiver down many bottoms spines. If you enjoy this sort of thing, its worth acquiring one or two belts especially for spanking games. Look for belts of supple leather, at least an inch and a half wide, with no harsh stitching or metal parts on the striking area. If you have, or can find, an old, wide, well-worn leather belt from the 60s or 70s, youve got a spanking treasure: recondition it, if necessary, with a good hide rejuvenator, and look forward to making some bottom very happy.

Other straps can be found in riding supply stores – I used to own and cherish a wide leather cinch strap from a saddle. Old razor strops can often be found in antique stores; cut away the canvas backing and youve got a wonderful strap. Straps of leather or rubber (watch out for the latter; rubber is nastier than you might expect) are also a good do-it-yourself project.

Straps are especially likely to wrap. Many straps made for non-spanking purposes contribute to this problem by being a bit too long for the average butt. To compensate, fold the strap in half and hold the loose ends in your hand, striking with the doubled-up part; or simply "choke up" by wrapping part of the strap around your hand and use the remainder to strike with. _(Never try to strike anyone with the buckle or metallic parts of a belt._ You can lacerate their skin deeply that way.) If you acquire a new strap, practice on something inanimate before you try using it on a person.

Birch Rods

The _birch rod_ , sometimes called just the _birch_ , has a long and honorable history. Although it is seldom used punitively today, it played a significant role in the Victorian schoolroom and in many prisons in earlier centuries.

The birch consists of six to twelve long, thin, whippy branches cut from a birch or similar tree, with the twigs and, if possible, the buds left on. The branches are tied together at the thick end with string or ribbon, and left splaying out at the thin end. A good birch should be broad enough to spread out over a good part of the butt with each stroke, and should be dense enough to bite in many places at once without being so dense as to feel like a broom. If you have access to a birch tree or something similar (fruit trees are often good for this), they are easy to make – be sure to rinse the branches well to remove dust, dirt and smog. During a birching, little bits of twig and bark tend to break loose and fly all over the place; you can minimize this phenomenon by soaking your birch in water for eight or so hours beforehand, but you should still expect to do some sweeping or vacuuming afterwards.

Being birched feels like being stung simultaneously by an entire swarm of angry insects. It marks the butt with dozens of little crisscrossed lines, often intersected by small dark spots where the buds bit into the skin. It is far likelier than most other forms of spanking to abrade or break the skin, so its important to use each birch rod on only one bottom.

Floggers and Other Multi-Tailed Implements

Many spankophiles enjoy playing with multi-tailed flagellation implements, usually made of leather but sometimes of other materials – floggers, flails, martinets, cats-o-nine-tails, and the like. While instructions for truly skilled use of these toys could fill their own book,1 a few notes here can at least get you started.

Floggers can deliver sensations ranging from the most sensuous of massage-like caresses through skin-tearing agony. If youre considering the purchase of your first flogger, dont make the mistake many novice tops do (I speak from experience here) – dont buy the biggest, nastiest, meanest-looking flogger you can find. Using a flogger well takes a lot of practice, and you want to start with an implement that forgives your mistakes: try a flogger of soft suede, deerskin, or a similar material. Such floggers are ideal for warmup, and excellent for many other kinds of spanking as well. Save floggers of heavy leather, and braided or knotted floggers, for later if ever.

Floggers do not work well in positions that bring the tops body very close to the bottoms, such as over-the-knee spanking. On the other hand, they can be used very effectively on a standing bottom or on one who is lying face down.1

Most people start out with a simple side stroke: if youre right-handed and your bottom is standing, stand to their left side and bring the flogger around so that its tips land in the center of their right cheek. Once you get comfortable with that, you can add more strokes to your repertoire, such as a backhand stroke, a figure-eight, a twirling stroke and more. (People who are really into floggers often look like theyre performing some specialized rhythmic gymnastics routine.)

Floggers are perhaps the likeliest of all common spanking toys to cause problems with wrapping. Put in some serious practice on an inanimate object before you use one on a human being.

Many spanking folks think of floggers as being more about traditional BDSM than about spanking. But skilled and judicious use of a flogger can, if you like it, add a delightful dimension to many spanking scenes.

Canes, Crops, Switches and the Like

Long, narrow, fairly rigid implements offer what is probably the most intense sensation available to the spanking enthusiast. For this reason, they require particular care and skill to use safely.

I love canes, the "queen of spanking implements," so much that Ive given them their own section – Appendix D, "Some Thoughts on Caning." If this form of intense spanking play is of interest to you, please read it carefully.

Riding crops are a twofold implement. You can use the tip only, as a small paddle, delivering a rain of quick little blows all over the butt. Or you can use the shaft like a heavy cane. In either case, its important to choose your crop carefully. Crops intended for use as a paddle should have broad, stiffish, flexible tips. If you want to strike with the shaft, examine the crop carefully for harsh stitching that could cause problems, and take an extra-careful look at how the tip is attached to the shaft: many crops use stiff wire-like wrapping that hurts in a very non-erotic way and can easily cause more damage than you intended.

A third sort of cane-type implement is a _switch_ – a slim, flexible branch cut from a tree.1 The severity of switches depends strongly on the type of tree, size and greenness of branch, and so on; the most severe can cause more damage than most spankees are comfortable with, so start out slowly with any new switch. Since switches can break skin, make sure you havent cut yours from any kind of toxic plant like an oleander. A traditional old-fashioned preamble to punishment was to send the miscreant out to the yard to cut his own switch; if you have a yard with trees, give it a try yourself.

1I like to practice on a quilt, aiming the tip of my toy for the place where the stitching intersects. A canemaker of my acquaintance recommends a pillow in a plaid pillowcase.

2Its not too rare for tops to get so caught up in the role that they forget the need to communicate honestly and politely. Its important to discuss this - preferably outside scene space - to make sure that everybody is able to get their needs met.

1A handspanking isnt necessarily a light spanking. Some spankers have hands of iron that hurt a LOT, bless their hearts.

1It can be fun to tease freshly spanked skin by running the bristles of the hairbrush over it, though.

1And have: "Flogging," by Joseph Bean, from Greenery Press.

1When Im flogging a woman who is face down, I especially like to stand at her head and flog her sweet spot so that some of the tails of the flogger land on her pussy. The flogger needs to be cleaned afterward, though.

1"Switch" can also mean a player who enjoys both spanking and getting spanked. This occasionally gets confusing.


Input: Prompt: Write a section for a book about spanking that focuses on the different positions used during a spanking scene. Divide the positions into three categories: weight on the feet, weight partially supported, and weight fully supported. For each category, provide a detailed description of several positions, along with any potential benefits or drawbacks, and considerations for the bottom's and top's body types, health, and preferences. Discuss the impact of each position on the tone and flavor of the scene, and provide tips for maintaining balance, protecting sensitive areas, and incorporating bondage.

Response:
10\. Positions

**THE CHOICE OF POSITION HAS A SIGNIFICANT** impact on the flavor and tone of your spanking scene. Some positions put the bottoms body under stress, creating tension and intensity; others enable the bottom to relax, promoting a floaty, ecstatic scene.

In choosing positions, its important to take into consideration your bottoms build, state of health, and preferences, as well as your own: the over-the-knee position that sends a large top and tiny bottom rocketing into bliss may be impractical, absurd or even dangerous for a tiny woman who wants to spank a large, broad man.

For the purposes of categorization, Im going to break spanking positions into three categories: weight on the feet, weight partially supported, and weight fully supported. Each category, as youll see, has many variations.

Weight on the Feet

Requiring your bottom to support most or all of their weight on their feet creates a collaborative flavor to the scene, particularly if no bondage is involved – if they step away or break position, the energy of the scene is broken.1

The most basic upright position is _standing_ , in which the bottom is simply standing up, without support. This is a simple position which can be used in any environment. Gravity tends to pull the bottoms butt muscles downward a bit, so you may want to hit a little lower than usual. Hard spanks may create problems in balance for the bottom; a considerate top either allows them to brace their hands against a sturdy wall or piece of furniture, or steadies them with the non-spanking hand.

Standing positions make it nearly impossible for the bottom to fully relax into the sensation – hence, theyre less desirable for ecstatic or "floaty" scenes, and some bottoms may find it difficult to get sexually aroused when theyre distracted by the need to keep their balance. For the same reason, they may work excellently for interrogation, captivity and other resistance-flavored scenes, or for ordeals.

Those who like to combine bondage with their spanking often enjoy tying the bottoms wrists together and fastening them to an overhead attachment point. If bondage of this or any other kind interests you, take a look at Appendix B for a few pointers.

A more challenging upright position is _bent over,_ with the bottom supporting themselves by placing their hands on their knees or grabbing their ankles. Bent-over positions are very erotic for many spankers and spankees, and have a place in most spanking fans repertoires. However, its worth keeping in mind that bending over stretches out the skin and muscles of the butt and thighs, and thus makes blows feel more harsh and intense than they might otherwise seem – as well as providing some challenge to the bottoms balance. Keeping someone bent over for a long period of time can also impair their breathing and circulation, increasing the likelihood of discomfort, panic or even fainting.

If youre spanking a bent-over male, watch out for his testicles! To protect these delicate organs – which could be seriously damaged by a hard blow – shield them with your non-dominant hand, have him keep his legs closed, or have him protect them himself with his hands. Some men like to wear a leather g-string as additional protection. Such safeguards are particularly important if youre using an implement that is long, floppy or unwieldy, such as a strap, cane or flogger.

_The struggle of a large spankee to stay in place across the lap of a smaller spanker can be a nuisance -it puts stress on the receivers arms and belly. But it can also be a source of humiliation, and perhaps a rationale for further chastisement. Its all in how you play it!_

Many tops enjoy the sight of a bottom bent fully over and grabbing their ankles, the position often imposed by headmasters with canes in England and coaches with paddles in the U.S. However, for those of us who are perhaps not as young and slim as the average schoolchild, this position can be difficult to attain and even harder to hold. Hard blows to someone in this position can also knock them dangerously off-balance.

Spankees can also be placed on all fours, either on a surface or on the floor. This position can be fun for a while, but will tire most bottoms wrists and arms out fairly quickly. It does, however, provide easy access to the genitals and anus if you want to stimulate your bottom sexually during the spanking.

Some bent-over positions work well when the top helps provide support. In the _head-between-legs_ position, the spankee bends over as though they were going to grab their ankles. Then the spanker stands in front of them with legs spread slightly, and with the bottoms head between their legs. While a very tall top might have trouble reaching the sweet spot on the butt of a very short bottom, and while a plump or out-of-shape bottom might have trouble bending over this far, this position works nicely for many people.

Another bent-over position, the _underarm_ position, works best with largish tops and smallish bottoms. The bottom bends over and the top stands beside them, grasping them around the waist or chest with the tops non-dominant arm. The dominant hand is thus left free for its painful task.

Partially Supported Positions

Midway between the upright positions and the face-down positions are positions in which the bottom is _bent over an object_ such as a table, chair, bed or their tops legs, thus placing part of the bodys weight on the object while keeping the rest of it on the feet. Many of these positions are comfortable for most bottoms and can be held for a longer period of time than many others. Some combine well with bondage if youre so inclined, and can be executed in almost any environment, from a dungeon to a guest bedroom. A pillow under the bottoms chest may help protect the neck from uncomfortable strain.

The classic spanking position is, of course, _over the knee._ (Since people reading this book are of adult stature, it might be more accurate to say "over the lap" – most grown-ups take up more space than a single knee can provide. Still, the phrase, often abbreviated to OTK, is well established.)

Over-the-knee spanking is beloved by many and plays a central role in many spankophiles fantasies. If the spankee is relatively lightweight and fit, the classic OTK position may work out quite well. However, larger spankees, or those who are inflexible, may have trouble holding this position for any length of time – it may impair their breathing or cause an uncomfortable amount of stress in their arms and legs. Small-lapped tops might also have trouble with this position (bottoms tend to slide off the end of your knees, plus its not much fun spanking someone when your legs have gone numb).

A couple of variations can help solve these problems. The first is for the spanker to sit on a bed or couch, enabling the bottom to stretch out across their lap, with chest and legs supported by the surface.1 If you plan to hold this position for long, make sure there is sufficient support – a headboard or couch back – for the tops back. A compromise position is to have the top seated on the bed or couch, with the bottoms upper body supported by the surface but their legs hanging down – or their legs supported and their head and arms hanging down. (The latter provides the sensation of "blood rushing to the head," which helps support the OTK fantasy.)

A second variation is to adapt the classic OTK position by having the top sit on a very short stool or chair. Because the bottom is closer to the floor, they can take some weight on their hands and feet or knees, thus reducing pressure on their abdomen and on the tops legs. If you are fond of over-the-knee spanking, a small sturdy stool or bench (make sure it can bear both of your weight) can be an excellent investment.

Or you can try shifting the bottoms position relative to the top in a couple of ways, while still maintaining that mildly humiliating OTK energy so beloved of many tops and bottoms. Have them kneel between the tops legs, bending over one knee. Or they can even try taking a wheelbarrow-like position, with their hands on the floor between the tops feet and their legs spread to either side of the tops waist, so their butt is conveniently at hand. (This one is very stressful on the hands and arms; most bottoms cant hold it for long.)

Fully Supported

If youre planning a long, relaxing or "floaty" spanking, I recommend having the bottom lie on their stomach on a bed or sturdy table. Adding a few pillows under their hips may make this position more comfortable and will definitely present their butt at an inviting angle.1 Some bottoms may also require a pillow under their chests in order to reduce strain on their necks. This is probably the most comfortable, relaxed position of all for most bottoms. It keeps the butt muscles short and thick, thus protecting the underlying structures, so its ideal for very thuddy spankings or for those that use physically heavy implements.

The _knees-and-chest_ position, in which the bottom kneels down and then lowers their chest to the floor so their butt sticks up in the air,1 also has a great deal to recommend it. The arms can be stretched beyond the head, crossed under the head to cushion and brace the head and neck, or you can have the bottom lace their fingers together behind their neck. This is a very attractive position which offers terrific access to the butt; many tops are very aroused by the sight of the protruding backside as it jerks, twitches, clenches and squirms. Some bottoms, however, may find this position stressful on their backs, necks or knees. Allowing the bottom to spread their knees, or placing a small pillow under the fronts of their ankles, may help.

An exception to the guideline about fully supported spankings being relaxing is _diaper pose_ , in which the bottom lies on their back and the top holds their ankles in the air, as though diapering a baby. This position can be both physically and emotionally stressful; it blends well into humiliation-flavored scenes. If you intend to indulge in it for long, some bondage may be indicated or the tops ankle-holding arm is likely to tire. Be extra-aware of the bottoms genitals in this position: spanking on genitals, while well within many bottoms capabilities, is beyond the purview of this book – but its certainly not something you want to do by accident.

Many spanking fans sooner or later find themselves thinking about designing and constructing a _spanking bench_. While designs for these delightful toys vary widely, they are all basically designed to hold the bottoms body in a bent-over or all-fours position, with or without bondage. The best spanking benches Ive seen include adjustable arm and leg rests so that the bench can be configured for different bodies, and plenty of padding under the spankees chest and abdomen. Ive seen benches shaped like well-padded sawhorses, benches shaped like half-barrels, benches shaped like vaulting horses, and several other models. Designs for spanking benches can be seen in some BDSM and spanking books and magazines as well as in professional dungeons and play spaces; if youre considering buying or building one, check out several different designs – playing on them if possible – to see which ones you like best.1

1You can ignore such a break and simply guide the bottom back into position. Or you can treat it as a "soft safeword" and back off the intensity of the spanking. Or you can use it as an opportunity for further chastisement. It all depends on the flavor of the scene youre playing.

1Technically this is a fully supported position, but since its inspired by OTK Im including it here.

1If you have one of those backrests shaped like the arms and back of a chair, try turning it face-down and using it under their hips. The "wedges" sold as sexual aids can also work well for this, as can a large sofa bolster.

1Yoga practitioners will recognize this as "child pose."

1Its also worth noting that one of the comfiest spankings I ever had was on a Black and Decker Workmate with a couple of bed pillows on top.


Input: Prompt: Write a chapter for a book about spanking in relationships. Discuss the different types of spanking relationships, including one-sided and mutual agreements. Explain the concept of "relationship-based spanking" or "domestic discipline". Discuss the potential benefits and risks of such relationships, including the need for clear communication and consent. Introduce the concept of the "Spencer Plan" or "Cooperative Domestic Discipline" and its modern interpretations. Discuss the concept of "Head of Household" domestic discipline and its subtypes. Provide tips for maintaining perspective and ensuring a healthy, consensual spanking relationship.

Response:
11\. Spanking Relationships

**MANY PEOPLE FEEL DRAWN TO BUILD** spanking-based discipline into their relationships. Such agreements can be enacted in a one-sided way (where one partner has the right to spank another for infractions), or in a mutual way (where either partner can spank the other for mutually agreed upon infractions).

For the purposes of this chapter, Ill call this "relationship-based spanking," as the whole idea of punishment presupposes that the spanker and spankee are in some sort of a relationship. You may also hear it referred to as "domestic discipline."

Many people who come from a conventional background, or even a BDSM background, are horrified by the idea of a spanking relationship, especially a one-sided one. I find it useful to reframe the idea of "punishment" or "discipline" as, instead, "atonement." I interviewed several domestic discipline participants in writing this chapter, and all agreed that the primary benefit of disciplinary spanking is clearing the air after a partner has failed to live up to an agreement. Most conceded that even the harshest disciplinary spanking can have erotic overtones, but insisted that while the spanking is taking place, the recipient feels sincere regret, which seemed to me must have at least as much to do with the sense of disappointing ones partner as it does to the physical sensation of the spanking.

The benefits of a spanking relationship may include:

•A way that the wrongdoer can show their regret and atone for their error

•Reinforcement of a power differential in the relationship

•A sense of closure – instead of constantly bringing up the source of friction during arguments for months or years, both partners can make an agreement that the spanking will be the end of the discussion

•A cathartic pathway to overcoming guilt and/or shame

The risks of such a relationship include:

•A bottom who acts out in order to get a secretly desired spanking1

•Resentment over what seems like an unfair punishment

•The power differential of the spanking relationship "spilling over" in an undesired way into day-to-day relating

•Genuine fear, anger or distress over being hurt by a lover2

With a clear understanding of the rewards and risks, and with ongoing communication about whats working and what isnt, it is entirely possible to build spanking into your relationship in a life-enhancing and emotionally safe way.

The Spencer Plan (Cooperative Domestic Discipline)

According to spanking legend, a woman named Dorothy Spencer wrote a pamphlet in 1936 outlining the rules and agreements of an ongoing spanking relationship. The text has been reproduced by various adult publishers through the years, and appears on some websites. Nobody Ive ever met claims to have seen or owned one of the original 1936 pamphlets, which makes me somewhat dubious about the legend.1 But whether or not Dorothy and her pamphlet truly ever existed, the Spencer Spanking Plan is well established in the hearts of many households, and is a remarkably sensible solution to many of the potential problems Ive outlined.

"My idea was to inaugurate a system of cooperative discipline that would sincerely benefit the party at fault and prevent all serious trouble by furnishing a definite, fair and effective method of adjustment," reads the plan.2 It goes on to advise:

• _Establish causes that will produce the discipline._

• _Agree upon the matter thoroughly. Dont leave the thing to the whim of the moment. Let your wife know what she will be spanked for, so she can watch her step and strive to avoid the discipline if she can. This is only fair._

• _Let her do the same for you. You dont want her to whip you for just any old reason – as though you were a child. 3 You want to know in advance just what will produce the discipline. Then you can regulate your conduct accordingly. This is the only sensible way._

In other words, the SSP is a mutually agreed-upon contract, with predetermined consequences for predetermined misbehaviors – no surprises. Any tendency toward excessive punishment is likely to be curbed by the recognition that the spanker may wind up taking their turn on the receiving end.

Some weaknesses of the Plan: First, it does not recognize the possibility that some people actually enjoy some aspects of being spanked.1 If either or both of the participants is eroticized to spanking, their agreements will have to include some way to make sure that spanking doesnt slowly morph from punishment to reward. While many spankees report that a punishment spanking by its nature feels very different than an erotic or reward spanking, I would be inclined to separate the two in some tangible way: by eliminating warmup, by reserving a particularly difficult implement for punishment only,2 and/or by using other disciplinary modes (corner time, lines, mouth soaping et al) to reinforce the punitive aspect of the spanking. Its also a good idea to make sure that the person who enjoys erotic spanking has their desires abundantly met – many people use "maintenance spankings" – so they dont feel so spanking-starved that they act out in order to get their butts whacked at all.

The other glitch in the Plan is that, whether or not it was written by Dorothy Spencer in 1936, it was definitely created in an era where women were viewed as "the weaker sex": it counsels that women be spanked with the bare hand only, whereas men must be "whipped" with a paddle1 or strap. I hope I dont need to tell you that this is nonsense. Different people have different pain thresholds (in fact, most research shows that womens pain thresholds are generally higher than mens), and react differently to each implement. Choose your punishments according to each persons abilities and needs, not according to gender.

"Head of Household" Domestic Discipline

In this style of spanking relationship, one partner is designated as Head of Household, often abbreviated as HoH, by the mutual consent of both or all partners. The HoH has the authority to prescribe and administer spankings as they see fit; the individuals involved may decide to agree in advance about what behaviors merit punishment, or that decision may be left to the HoH.

In a subtype of HoH relationship known as "Christian domestic discipline," the male part of a heterosexual duo defaults to being HoH; adherents cite Ephesians 5:24, "The husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church…as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." While this style of relationship prescribes who disciplines and who is disciplined (I feel sorry for the husband in such an arrangement who craves the control and sensation of being the recipient of a spanking1), it is otherwise very similar to any other one-sided domestic discipline arrangement, including female-dominant and same-sex relationships. However, some Christian domestic discipline relationships go beyond the bounds of what I consider consent: if the wife in such a relationship feels genuinely frightened, enraged or diminished by her punishment, such a relationship is, in my opinion, abusive (see Chapter 8 for notes on abuse, and the Resource Guide for what to do if youre being abused).

It is critical that any couple or group that undertakes a domestic discipline agreement communicate comprehensively and often about any problems they may be encountering.2 Many in such relationships (and in the closely related "Dominant/ submissive" relationship, which may or may not include spanking and is generally beyond the purview of this book; see the Resource Guide for suggestions) set aside a regular interval each week in which participants can speak freely and without consequence about anything thats troubling them. Other solutions Ive heard include a special sofa that signals "When Im sitting here, its because I need to talk to you as equals," and a collaboratively maintained online journal in which participants can write down any issues that need to be addressed. The main thing is to have a way to communicate little problems before they become big ones.

Goal-Oriented Discipline

Another way to use this strategy is to help the spankee achieve a personal goal or overcome a personal weakness. If someone wishes to, for example, quit biting their fingernails, they may enlist the help of someone who is willing to punish them for any backsliding. The net effect is that two willpowers, rather than just one, are applied to the problem, and the spankee can fall back on the spankers will when their own feels shaky.

It is _not_ appropriate to use goal-oriented discipline to resolve large, life-endangering problems like alcoholism or mental illness. Such issues require the help of a trained counselor, not your spouse with a hairbrush in their hand. But if the problem youre trying to resolve is one that simply requires an adjustment in attitude – curbing spending, cutting back on junk food, spending more time at the gym, thinking before speaking, and so on – then enlisting the help of a willing spanker may be just the ticket.

Maintaining Perspective

Please do not feel that a spanking-based relationship is the goal to which all spankophiles should aspire. There is plenty of hot fun to be had whacking butts for pleasure, for "funishment," for catharsis, and for all the myriad other reasons we enjoy spanking or being spanked.

Moreover, a spanking relationship is not an all-or-nothing proposition: you can try it for a week or two as a trial period, then move on to longer periods if you enjoy it. Or you can take turns as Head of Household, or set aside one or two days a week as "spankable days," or any other compromise that allows you to move gracefully toward your end goal.

Its worth taking the time up front to set up agreements that will minimize any resentment, fear or dishonesty. After all, the ideal of a spanking relationship is that you will love each other more because of it – so take your time and get it right.

1The kind of spanking that pretends to be about punishment, but is really an erotic role-play, is sometimes called "funishment." Many couples build a hot erotic life around funishment, but its a bad idea to confuse it with actual discipline: such a top may find themselves spanking the bottom for not doing the dishes, and be bewildered when the dishes start piling up and up and up…

2Because spanking is most often something that parents do to children, it is possible for the bottom to confuse the top with an angry or abusive parent. Today, as spanking children becomes less acceptable than it was to previous generations, this is becoming less likely. But it still can, and does, happen.

1If youve ever seen or owned one, Id love to hear about it - please get in touch!

2A full transcript appears at www.spankingart.org/wiki/Text-of-the-Spencer-Spanking-Plan.

3Yikes!

1Even if they dont enjoy it while its happening, they may well fantasize about it in anticipation and in retrospect. As a way to discourage bad behavior, this leaves a lot to be desired.

2A pet peeve of mine is the top who uses a cane - actually one of the most flexible and useful spanking tools - as a punishment implement. If you want to deliver a jolt of pain without pleasure or eroticism, I recommend a hairbrush, bathbrush or large wooden spoon.

1The "Spencer paddle" - a wooden paddle with multiple holes - was, according to legend, developed for this purpose. I dont recommend them; they are prone to causing blistering, and the holes create structural weakness that causes the paddle to break easily.

1It has been noted by some practitioners that if the husband ORDERS his wife to administer a spanking to him, he is maintaining his role as head of household. I think my brain would explode, but if this works for you, go for it.

2Interestingly, the complaints in DD relationships seem far more often to have to do with a HoH who is too lax than with one who is too strict.


Input: Prompt: Write a chapter for a book about troubleshooting in spanking scenes. Discuss common mishaps that can occur during spanking scenes, including emotional crises and physical injuries. Provide strategies for dealing with these mishaps, such as how to support a partner during an emotional crisis or how to treat common physical injuries like welts, bruises, and abraded or broken skin. Also, discuss how to prevent and manage more serious injuries, such as fainting, seizures, and heat exhaustion. Finally, provide advice on how to adjust spanking play for individuals with pre-existing health conditions, such as heart trouble, breathing problems, diabetes, and joint problems.

Response:
12\. Troubleshooting

**EVEN THE MOST SKILLED AND EMPATHETIC** spankophiles have things go wrong from time to time – freakouts, accidents, unexpected marks, injuries, illnesses and more. While many of the precautions Ive mentioned in previous chapters will go far in helping to minimize such occurrences, I assure you that problems will happen. Here are some strategies for dealing with them when they do.

Emotional Crises

These are probably the single most common mishap that happens in spanking scenes. A bottom may get so deeply into the fantasy that they forget this is a consensual scene and get scared, upset or angry. A spanking may also cause an individual to regress to a deeply childlike, vulnerable state, or may even trigger a forgotten memory of trauma or abuse.

The first thing to remember if your partner is having an emotional crisis is that these things happen. Part of the reason we enjoy spanking in the first place is because it lowers some of our emotional barriers and removes some of our armor; sometimes, this process simply goes a bit further than we intended. While its natural to feel a bit scared and guilty, dont take it too much to heart, unless you were genuinely doing something nonconsensual or non-negotiated.

Next, get to work helping your partner back to an easier frame of mind. Immediately stop the spanking, and release any bondage. If theyre wearing any kind of costume or symbols like a collar, find out whether they want them off or not, and if they do, remove the offending items immediately and wrap them in a bathrobe or blanket.

While it can be difficult to conquer your own anxiety and need for reassurance, your main task right now is to be with your partner in a nurturing, non-pushy, non-critical manner. Make sure your bottom is physically warm and comfortable. Try to get them to eat and drink something (no alcohol, please), since dehydration and low blood sugar can contribute to emotional crises. If they need to talk, do your best to listen supportively, without getting defensive or guilty. If they need to cry, hold them if they want that; if they want some alone time, leave the room and check in occasionally to see if theyre ready for company.

If youre the one having the crisis, and your partner is unable or unwilling to support you, youll have to support yourself. Drink a big glass of water and eat something. If you need to cry, cry. Consider self-soothing by wrapping yourself up in something nestlike and warm, or by taking a bath or shower. A walk can help, as can a nap. Sometimes you can bring yourself back out of an altered state by reading, exercising or doing crafts.

Usually, people begin to recover from an emotional crisis within half an hour or so, and are feeling pretty much better (although, perhaps, still rather raw and vulnerable) within a couple of hours. A crisis that lasts for more than a day or two, or that seems to bring up questions or issues that you cant resolve on your own, may indicate that some truly deep and difficult feelings have been stirred up which might require help from a mental health professional to understand and resolve. See the Resource Guide in the back of this book for information about how to find such a professional who will not be judgmental about an interest in spanking.

Physical Injuries

Although spanking is far less likely to cause injuries than, say, touch football, people do occasionally get hurt. While this book is not a substitute for professional first aid instruction, here are some methods for dealing with some of the common injuries encountered by spanking folk.

• _Welts._ Getting an icebag onto freshly spanked skin can help reduce or eliminate welts. (More about icebags under "Bruises," below.) I have also heard, although I havent tried it myself, that one or two doses of over-the-counter antihistamine such as diephenhydramine, chlorpheniramine or clemastine can reduce welting. (Read the package carefully; some of these drugs cause drowsiness, or interact badly with other medications.) Welts usually fade within a few days even if you dont do anything to fix them, although immersion in hot water may cause them to resurface after you think theyre gone.

• _Bruises._ If you suspect that unwanted bruises may result from your spanking,1 place an icebag on the spanked area immediately afterwards. Keep it there until the area starts to go numb, no more than fifteen to twenty minutes. Repeat this process every two to four hours for a day or two if possible.

Light or surface bruising is not a problem from a health point of view. If you are deeply or extensively bruised, its important to drink a lot of water for a couple of days after your scene. The water helps flush the byproducts of broken blood cells out of your system, protecting your kidneys from damage. Some spankees also like to take some extra Vitamin C, Vitamin E and zinc during this period.

Some health practitioners feel that bruising again over an unhealed bruise can damage your bodys ability to heal itself.

A bruise that is hard and bulging to the touch is not a medical emergency, but its not great for your body either. If the bruise is in a place that you sit directly on, or if its near your genitals or anus, Id have a doctor take a look at it. Be sure to tell your top about it so they know to take things a little easier next time.

• _Abraded or broken skin._ If clear fluid (plasma) or blood is leaking from the skin, the skin should be considered broken. (Sometimes even relatively light spankings can break skin, particularly if they strike pimples or other small flaws on the butt.) Broken skin is an opening through which diseases can be transmitted; do not touch anybody elses broken skin without medical gloves unless you are absolutely sure that your own skin is unbroken, or the two of you are disease-free and in a sexually monogamous relationship.

The first thing to do with broken skin is to make sure it doesnt get infected. Clean it twice a day with soap and water. If the skin is at particularly high risk for infection – if, for example, it is close to the rectum – consider using a topical antibiotic such as Neosporin or Betadine as well. A cream containing lidocaine or benzocaine will help reduce the pain and keep you more comfortable.

For your own comfort as well as for cleanliness, wearing clean, soft cotton underwear for a few days is a good idea; boxers or long-leg panties are nice in that they dont have elastic that rubs on tender areas. You might also wish to cover the broken skin with gauze and adhesive tape to prevent your clothing from rubbing against it or sticking to it. You will probably figure out on your own that wearing tight or harsh-textured clothing is not such a good idea.

Once the skin is no longer sticky to the touch, keeping it well anointed with a healing moisturizer can decrease itching and promote healing. Some people like aloe vera or Vitamin E oil for this. My personal preference is a thick moisturizer called Country Comfort, available in natural food stores, which contains goldenseal, myrrh and other healing herbs.

Abrading skin can cause long-term changes to the underlying tissues; many experienced spankees have one or two "weak spots" that will open up and weep plasma or blood after relatively little stimulation. If your skin has been broken, try to give it as much time as possible to heal. I know one frequent spankee who carries a short tight latex skirt in her toybag to protect her weak spot.

• _Cramps._ Being kept in strenuous positions for a long time during a spanking scene can cause muscles to cramp. If someone in your scene develops a muscle cramp, stop immediately and give the person plenty of time to stretch out the cramp. Dont rub it unless they ask you to. Choose a different position when you resume the spanking.

• _Fainting and seizures._ A spanking can be a physically and emotionally stressful experience. Occasionally, a bottom is overwhelmed by the experience, and faints1 or has a seizure. You can help prevent this problem by making sure your bottom has had enough to eat before the scene, and by giving them water to drink during the scene. (One of those plastic sports bottles with a straw or valve in the top comes in handy for this.) If your bottom complains of dizziness or nausea, stop the scene immediately and encourage them to lie down with their feet up.

But if they faint anyway, check their heartbeat and breathing; if those are okay, the bottom will almost certainly come to within a minute or two. (A faint that lasts longer than five minutes or so merits a call for an ambulance.) I wouldnt try to go on with a spanking scene after someone has fainted; instead, make them comfortable, give them something to eat and drink once theyre able to sit up on their own, and decompress together for a while.

Treatment for seizures (convulsions) is essentially the same.1 Clear any furniture or breakables out of the way so that your partner doesnt bang into anything, and wait. A seizure that lasts longer than a minute or two, a second seizure, or a seizure by anyone whos never had one before calls for a trip to the emergency room.

• _Heat exhaustion._ Both tops and bottoms are susceptible to this problem if theyre playing enthusiastically in a warm room. The symptoms to watch out for are dizziness, nausea, rapid heartbeat, and cool clammy skin. If anybody starts to feel these symptoms, stop the scene immediately and give the person plenty of water to drink and perhaps a cool shower.

• _Serious injuries._ Any of the following symptoms may represent a serious injury, and call for a trip to the doctor: deep, sharp, or persistent pain in the tailbone; dark urine, bloody urine, or difficulty or pain upon urination; numbness or tingling in any limb that lasts more than an hour or two. See the Resource Guide for help in finding a physician who will treat the injury without being appalled by your spanking interest. Its a good idea to establish a relationship with this doctor before you need them.

Health Concerns

While few people are so unhealthy that they shouldnt spank or be spanked at all, some pre-existing health problems do call for adjustments to spanking play.1 Here are some of the commoner ones:

• _Heart trouble._ A bottom with a history of heart trouble should not be placed in stressful positions that impair breathing or circulation. Id avoid head-down positions, as well as standing positions in which the hands are tied overhead. If anybody in the scene complains of dizziness or a pounding heart, stop whatever activity is causing that problem right away. (Since many spanking people also enjoy anal play, its worth mentioning here that enemas and anal penetration can also be a bit risky with a partner who has a history of heart trouble.)

• _Breathing problems._ A bottom who has asthma, emphysema or other breathing difficulty should not be placed in positions that further impair breathing. Over-the-knee and strongly bent-over positions are particularly likely to cause trouble.

• _Diabetes._ Since diabetes can impair wound healing, its best not to cause wounds in the first place. Avoid bruising or breaking skin on a bottom with diabetes. Unless they know for sure that they can handle heavier toys, Id stick with handspanking, and perhaps a fairly mild leather paddle, on a bottom who has diabetes.

• _Joint problems._ The bottom probably knows better than you what kinds of positions or impact might harm their joints. Follow their directions in choosing what activities to engage in.

Its important to mention here that most spanking aficionadoes spend many years happily spanking or being spanked without encountering a single major problem – I dont want to make it sound as though every spanking is a feat of daredevil risk-taking. Being prepared for trouble is simply a way of helping top and bottom alike to relax and enjoy themselves.

1I found out the hard way (during a Gay Pride parade) that exercise during a spanking can increase bruising.

1Fainting often happens in a very warm room or on a very hot day. If youre in the middle of a heat wave, consider postponing your spanking scene until things cool off.

1If your partner becomes unresponsive, rigid, and begins to jerk or twitch uncontrollably, thats probably a seizure.

1If you have any of these problems, a kink-friendly health practitioner can also be useful in helping you decide which activities to engage in and which ones to avoid.


Input: Prompt: Write a chapter for a book about tips, tricks, and fun things to try during spanking scenes. Discuss ways to make spanking more intense, such as spanking over wet skin or using chemical heat like mentholatum or capsicum liniment. Include safety advice for using these substances, such as doing a patch test beforehand and keeping them away from sensitive areas. Also, discuss other ways to add sensation, such as using nettles or figging. Provide tips for keeping spanking scenes quiet, including using quieter toys and muffling the bottom's noise. Discuss how to combine spanking with other sensations, such as caressing the butt with fur or dripping wax on heated skin. Suggest games that can be adapted to determine spanking outcomes. Provide advice on using butt plugs during spanking scenes, including how to insert them safely and cleanly. Discuss the possibility of masturbation during spanking scenes. Finally, provide tips for incorporating intercourse or strap-on play into spanking scenes and advice for involving multiple partners in spanking scenes.

Response:
13\. Tips, Tricks and Fun Things to Try

**GETTING BORED WITH THE SAME OLD** whackety-whack? Here are some ideas to spice up or fine-tune your spanking play.

Get Wet

Many bottoms find that a spanking over wet skin feels much more intense than the same spanking dry. Try giving your partner a nice hot bubble bath, then hauling them out and spanking them while their butt is still all pink and moist. Or use a spray bottle of warm water to keep their backside glistening wet while you spank it.

Chemical Heat

The feeling of a spanking can be intensified and prolonged by using a mentholatum or capsicum liniment on the butt before spanking. (A liniment called Heet has a particular cult following.) Some people are allergic to the chemicals in these substances, so its a good idea to do a patch test on the thin skin of the inner arm twenty-four hours before your scene. If there is any redness, rash or itching, dont use that liniment on this bottom.

Keep the chemical away from the asshole, genitals, and the crevices between the genitals and thighs – its not dangerous, but liniments in these tender areas burn too intensely for many bottoms. Similarly, do not use these substances on broken or abraded skin. If the chemical is too intense, immediately apply a lot of anything oily – cold cream, Vaseline, even vegetable oil from the kitchen – and send the bottom off to the shower to shampoo it off (shampoo does a better job of cutting oil than soap does).

If you and your bottom enjoy this sensation, you might experiment cautiously with using a tiny bit of liniment on the rim of the asshole as an incentive to prevent clenching of the cheeks during spanking. (When I say tiny bit, I mean a dab about half the size of a small pea.)

A variant on chemical heat is "figging" – a Victorian kink originally practiced on horses to make them carry their tails high. Start with a fresh ginger root of an appropriate size, and peel off the skin and any branches or protrusions. Whittle it down to the approximate shape of a butt plug,1 with a flange at the bottom and a narrower neck. Insert the business end into the bottoms anus so that the narrow neck is gripped by the sphincter. The burn varies from moderate to strong, depending on the individual and the root,2 and is made stronger if the bottom clenches their butt during the spanking.

Nettles

Urtification – using stinging nettles to redden, burn and sensitize skin – is a time-honored staple of Victorian spanking porn. If you live in an area where nettles are available, and if your bottom can handle a sensation this intense, its worth a try. The cautions for nettle play are similar to those for liniment play: patch test first, and keep nettles away from genitals and assholes. (Tops will probably want to wear gloves for this activity.) Id start slowly, perhaps using nettles cautiously on a patch a couple of inches square on the bottoms butt and spanking over that, to see how well the bottom can handle the sensation. The sensation should go on burning for a couple of hours, and may feel sort of odd and tingly for a day or two. If that works out well, try a bit more in future sessions. In case of "overdose," look for dock or horsetails, both of which often grow near nettles, and rub the juice into the sore place. If you dont have those, baking soda paste is a decent substitute.

"Hey, keep it down in there!"

Many spanking fans have to keep the sounds of their play quiet in order to avoid rousing kids or neighbors. There are two parts to this task: one is to keep the noise of the spanks down, the other is to keep the noise of the bottom down.

Broad, flat toys like paddles make a lot of noise – a hard paddle stroke can be loud enough to hurt the ears of bystanders. If noise is a concern for you, Id steer clear of paddles. Somewhere in the middle, noise-wise, are hands and straps. Canes and floggers are relatively quiet, and may be your best bet if youre dealing with paper walls.

As far as keeping your bottom quiet, some bottoms simply dont make much noise: one of the heaviest spanking masochists I know never makes a peep (she tells me that she learned to keep quiet during the years when her children were young). If your partner is more demonstrative than that, yells, moans and shrieks can be muffled by giving them a pillow to hold over their face or something firm but yielding to bite down on (a scrap of heavy leather works well for this). If you want to play with an actual gag, choose something that cannot possibly come loose and work its way into the bottoms throat, and that is small and/or absorbent enough to enable them to swallow their saliva – my experience is that many commercial ball gags are uncomfortably large. My personal choice is a large square scarf, folded diagonally into a wide strip, with a large firm knot tied in the middle and the ends tied behind the bottoms head. (And dont forget to agree on a non-verbal safeword – popular ones include humming a bar of a simple tune, knocking three times on a nearby surface, or dropping a held object.)

Mixing Spanking With Other Sensations

A good spanking wakes up the skin of the butt, so that other sensations are felt in a sharply focused, highly sensual way. Try delivering a volley of spanks, then caressing the butt with a scrap of fur…or running your fingernails lightly back and forth across the reddened surface…or teasing it with the bristles of your handy hairbrush. Some folks enjoy dripping wax over already heated skin: the wax from the kind of candle that comes in a glass cylinder (often with religious imagery on the outside) is no hotter than tap water, whereas the kind from a plain white paraffin candle is hot enough for most uses. Avoid beeswax candles because they burn too hot for skin safety, and patch-test first before using scented or colored candles to which some people may react allergically.

One sensation deserves special mention here: ice. Trailing an ice cube across hot reddened buttflesh is guaranteed to get a gasp from your bottom. You can spank for a while, then use ice to wet down the butt (see "Get Wet" above), then spank some more. Whee!

Games People Play

Many spanking fans enjoy adapting their favorite card or board game to determine who gets spanked, with how many strokes, with which instrument, and so on.

Plug Em Up

Inserting a butt plug into your partners asshole before or during a spanking can greatly increase their sexual stimulation (this trick works on both male and female spankees). Anything inserted into an asshole should have a large flange at its base to keep it from getting pushed too far inside. If they are not used to being anally penetrated, use a very small plug; putting it in a condom will make clean-up easier. You can tie the condom closed around a small plug, or roll it all the way beyond the flange on a larger one – or simply remove the inner ring from a female condom and let the outer ring act as a flange to keep the whole assembly from getting sucked in.

Its a good idea to put a towel under your bottoms hips during any kind of anal play, and to keep a couple of small towels or diaper wipes handy for clean-up.

Start by inserting one finger, gloved with latex or nitrile1 and very well-slicked with a good lubricant, gradually into the asshole. Youll feel two rings of muscle, which are the outer sphincter and the inner sphincter. Dont force anything; wait until you feel the sphincters relax, usually one at a time, and then gradually move your finger in. Experiment gently with pressing in different directions, moving the finger back and forth, and so on, and watch their reactions. When they seem relaxed and comfortable with one finger, withdraw it, re-lube, and insert two fingers – slowly, gradually. This may be enough for the first time.

If they seem stressed or tense, stop after the fingers, and try again another day. On the other hand, if they can relax and enjoy two fingers, you can withdraw the fingers and try gently inserting the well-lubed plug. Although a stretching feeling, and a feeling of having to defecate, are normal and will fade in a few minutes, nothing should ever feel sharply painful – if it does, stop immediately.

Once the plug is in and the bottom has relaxed again, you can resume the spanking. Try giving a couple of light taps on the base of the plug and see how they react to that. Keep an eye on the plug to make sure they arent pushing it out; if it seems to be trying to sneak away, push it gently back in.1 Spank away and see how the sensation of anal fullness can contribute to your bottoms enjoyment!

Masturbation During Spanking

Many women, and quite a few men, can greatly enjoy being allowed – or directed – to masturbate while being spanked. Bottoms of any gender can masturbate in a standing position while you spank their butts. Many women can also masturbate face-down, perhaps with a couple of pillows under their chest and butt, while you spank them. Orgasms achieved in this way tend to be extremely intense, so dont expect your bottom to be terribly coherent for a few minutes afterwards.

For a real brain-buster, try handing them a vibrator to use during the spanking. This is intense enough that its probably best to make sure the bottom is on a bed or soft surface where they wont be hurt if they fall.

On the other hand, some bottoms find that the sensation of the spanking keeps them from reaching orgasm, and/or that the sexual stimulation keeps them from focusing on the spanking. Individual patterns vary; dont push this if it doesnt seem to be working.

Spanking During Intercourse or Strap-on Play

While most vaginal and anal intercourse positions dont adapt themselves very well to spanking, there are exceptions. The partner on the bottom during face-to-face fucking may be able to reach up to spank their partners butt, and the active partner during doggy-style intercourse may enjoy thrusting a couple of times, pulling out for some smacks, and then thrusting again. One excellent position for spanking is for the active partner to lie on their back, with the receptive partner kneeling or lying on top, facing their feet (aka "reverse cowgirl" – or, I suppose, "reverse cowboy"). Although the sweet spot may be hard to reach in this position, most of the rest of the butt is quite marvelously accessible.

The Crying Game

Many spanking fantasies end with the receiver in tears. Yet in the real world, quite a few spankees find it very difficult to cry during a scene (much as they would like to).

Ironically, many of the techniques people use to manage the pain of a spanking can get in the way of the catharsis of tears. If youre very good at breathing and relaxing through your spanking, or if you habitually distract yourself with sexual fantasy or concentrating on something besides your butt, you may be getting in your own way; consider conveniently "forgetting" to do those things and see what happens.

I dont have any surefire ways to make a bottom cry. But more than a few bottoms report that they can push themselves to tears by running mental tapes of self-pity and/or guilt – "Poor me…" "How can they do this to me?!" …"I completely deserve this because of that burned dinner the other night." It may help, too, if the bottom waits a minute or two longer than usual before using their safeword – some people have a tendency to safeword at exactly the point when they feel their emotions welling up to overwhelm them, so if they hold off for a moment, the next thing they feel might be the need to cry. (Do not, however, delay safewording if you feel that your physical or emotional well-being is genuinely at risk.)

Tops can sometimes help by watching their bottoms for signs of imminent tears, then giving permission for the tears to appear: "Thats right, baby, go right ahead, let it out."

Some bottoms report that theyre likelier to cry if a scene includes anal penetration (see "Plug Em Up," above) and/or bondage (see Appendix C). Both of these are worth a try if tears are important to you.

Invite a Friend

Spanking friends with team spirit may enjoy inviting third, fourth, and even more parties to join their spanking scenes. Its a challenge to the imagination to figure out ways to involve all concerned. Here are a few multi-partner scenes Ive seen and participated in:

•Two spankees stand face-to-face and hold one another, while one or more spankers beat their butts.

•"Of human bondage" – the spankee is bent over a table or chair while one top holds her hands or arms and the other administers the spanking. The two tops may want to change places from time to time. A variant is the time-honored Victorian practice of "horsing" – the assistant top stands in front of the bottom, who puts their arms over their shoulders. The assistant holds the bottoms wrists and bends forward so that the bottoms feet come up off the ground and they are dangling helplessly bent over, down the assistant tops back, for their spanking.

•A right-handed top can team up with a left-handed top (or a top with a good backhand) and each take one cheek. This scene sometimes resembles a fast-moving game of ping-pong. Two tops with a sense of rhythm can use a bottom as a "human drum," which can be a very entrancing scene for all concerned.

•One partner can provide conventional sexual stimulation such as mastur-bation, oral sex or intercourse to the bottom, while the other spanks them.

•Bottoms can be made to "run the gantlet" – to walk or crawl down a row, or two facing rows, of tops, who may administer one spank each or as many spanks as they can, depending on what rules have been established. Careful not to hit another tops hand!

These are just a few ideas; the imagination, fantasies and desires of the parties involved will undoubtedly provide more. Have fun!

1If you whittle the neck too narrow, it could possibly break off in the bottoms ass - but this is not a medical emergency; the root will almost certainly pass with the next bowel movement.

2My sources assure me that organic ginger is hotter than conventional, and that freshness matters.

1Long nails can cause painful or even dangerous poking. If your nails are long, insert a couple of cotton balls into each fingertip of the glove to avoid stabbing your partners innards. Many tops who enjoy anal play keep a couple of fingernails trimmed very short for this reason.

1One of my smaller plugs is named "Oops," because thats what my girlfriend kept saying as it rocketed across the room.


Input: Prompt: Write a conclusion for a book about consensual erotic spanking. Emphasize that it is not violence or abuse, but a pathway to intimacy and communication. Highlight the cathartic, nurturing, and caring aspects of spanking. Discuss the importance of accepting oneself and others fully, and the role of spanking in promoting wholeness and integrity. Encourage readers to feel lucky rather than ashamed of their desires. Acknowledge that while the book provides techniques, the true spirit of erotic spanking comes from the hearts, minds, genitals, and butts of those who share this desire. Offer congratulations and a warm welcome to those who identify with this special, wonderful desire.

Response:
14\. Conclusion

For a spanking fan, the end should be the best part, right? So let me just sum up this book by saying that consensual erotic spanking is not violence, not abuse, not a way to degrade or diminish anyone involved. Instead, it is, at its best, a pathway to intimacy and communication, to sharing some of our tenderest, scariest, most vulnerable parts. Its catharsis, nurturance, caring – sometimes even a source of spiritual insight and growth.

By playing with our darkest attractions to power and cruelty, by bringing them out into the light and making them manageable and safe, we gain wholeness and integrity – the chance to accept ourselves and one another as we truly are.

Its time to stop being ashamed. Untold tens of thousands of people share the desire to redden each others backsides in a loving and consensual manner, and have enhanced their lives and their sexuality by doing so. Why on earth should anybody be ashamed of having more ways to get aroused than their neighbor has? Seems to me that such a person should feel lucky, not guilty.

Almost everything Ive written in this book is simply technique: ways to understand our impulses and to make their passage into reality safer and easier. But the true spirit of erotic spanking cant be written in a book – it comes from the hearts, minds, genitals and butts of those who share this very special, very wonderful desire.

If you are fortunate enough to be such a person, congratulations – and welcome.

_Janet W. Hardy ("Lady Green")_
 _July 2015_


Input: Prompt: Write an appendix for a book about consensual erotic spanking. Provide advice on finding others who share this interest. Discuss challenges and potential solutions, including discussing spanking with a current partner or seeking a new partner who is open to spanking. Offer suggestions on how to approach the subject of spanking with a partner and how to negotiate boundaries. Address the possibility of meeting someone in a vanilla environment and introducing them to spanking. Provide a list of resources for finding spanking-oriented environments, such as websites, clubs, and parties. Discuss the importance of finding a good match beyond just shared interests in spanking. Mention the option of professional dominants or submissives as a way to meet spanking needs. Offer advice on finding and interacting with a professional dominant or submissive.

Response:
Appendix A:
Finding Others

**ONE OF THE BIGGEST CHALLENGES FACING** the would-be spanker or spankee is finding like-minded people – for actual play, or simply for support, friendship and information exchange.

If youre already partnered, do not make the mistake of assuming that your partner will be shocked, frightened or disgusted with your desires: more people share your interest than you might think. On the other hand, there are risks involved in telling your partner about your spanking interest – and once you tell, you cant take it back. Still, if you never ask, youll never find out.

One thing I can tell you for sure is that the subtle-hint route – leaving a hairbrush on the nightstand and then picking a fight, or other such silliness – doesnt work.1

No, youre going to have to bite the bullet and say the words. If youre interested in topping, you might try saying something like, "You know, it would really turn me on if youd let me try smacking your bottom lightly sometime." If your urges run more in the bottom direction, try something along the lines of "You know, Ive been having some fantasies about being spanked. Could you try smacking my butt lightly sometime during sex and see how that feels?" The idea is to be as non-pushy and non-intimidating as possible, giving your partner the chance to start slowly, to experiment a bit, and to work their way up gradually with plenty of attention to both partners comfort. (This gradual approach is for your benefit as well as your partners – Ive heard a lot of stories about well-meaning partners who spanked their spankophile spouses well beyond their limits, thinking that this was what they really wanted.) Its a good idea to establish safewords from the very beginning – novice spankers and spankees find it very comforting to know that either partner has a way to communicate immediately if anything goes seriously wrong.

Of course, you may discover that your partner wants absolutely nothing to do with even the lightest spanking games. This is a difficult problem. You may decide that your spanking desires are best kept as a fantasy. You and your partner may be able to work out some sort of arrangement in which you do your spanking play with someone else, while preserving the primary nature of your relationship.1 You may decide to spank or be spanked on the sly (which I dont encourage – Ive been there and its awful). Or you may decide that your spanking needs are so strong that you cant stay in a relationship where they cant be met. I encourage you to think any of these steps over very carefully, possibly with the help of a nonjudgmental mental health professional, before you do anything youll regret later.

On a happier note, say youre not already coupled, and that youre looking for a new partner with whom to explore spanking. One possibility is to meet someone in a vanilla environment, and try to get them interested in spanking. This can work pretty well – a lot of people have unexplored fantasies in this area – if you are sensitive to their needs and willing to walk away from a relationship that doesnt offer what youre looking for.

If youre mouthy and uninhibited like me, anybody whos talked to you for more than five minutes knows all about your fantasies, interests and experiences. (If theyre still standing there, youve got a hot prospect on your hands.) But most people prefer to introduce the subject of spanking a little later in the acquaintanceship, and a bit more gradually. I think the best time to discuss such matters is at the point when the two of you have established the definite possibility of a romantic interest, but before you have actually had sex. Tentative inquiries, similar to the ones I mentioned above in the section on interesting a current partner, are a good way to start. If your romantic interest isnt totally turned off to the idea, you can negotiate some sort of exploration together. If, however, youre met with disbelief, disgust, ridicule, or a simple firm "thanks but no thanks," cut your losses and begin looking for a more suitable partner.

If you want to restrict your partner-finding to venues where you know that the people you talk to will already have some openness to spanking, your best bet is – duh! – a spanking-oriented environment. Websites about spanking and domestic discipline abound, but many last only a year or two and then are abandoned as their owners lives take a different turn. Ive listed a couple of the best established ones in the Resource Guide.

In the last few years, Fetlife.com has become the default meeting place for kinky people of all types. Although Fetlife tends toward heterosexuals and D/s practitioners, it offers discussion groups and event calendars for people of all persuasions, including spankophiles. Like all social media, Fetlife can be a black hole, sucking away far more of your time and energy than it deserves, so you may wish to limit your participation to only a few groups that are well suited to your situation, and to be careful about not getting immersed in endless debates. (The same suggestions apply to any other social media, such as the spanking groups on Facebook.)

A few spanking clubs exist around the U.S.; the ones I was able to find out about are listed in the Resource Guide. Several of them, including the venerable Shadow Lane, put on spanking parties on a regular schedule, often twice a year. Some swing clubs are also open to spanking play, although they might be uncomfortable with very intense spanking. (Many of these environments are primarily heterosexual. As such, they often have to be very choosy about what single men they admit. Policies regarding gay or bisexual men vary from one group to another.)

A tremendous number of general BDSM clubs are available around the country – men-only, women-only and pansexual. All are quite open to spanking play. If you join such a club, you will see many other types of erotic power exchange besides spanking, but nobody should push you to get involved in anything that doesnt interest you. Some spanking fans who attend such clubs find other areas of interest, while others stick strictly to spanking – either is fine, as long as you respect other peoples desires as you would want yours respected. I have listed some of the largest and best-known BDSM clubs in the Resource Guide.1

Remember – just because a potential partner is into spanking doesnt mean theyre a good match for you. If someone wants to play in a way that is considerably less intense or more intense than you do, or if theyre interested in roles or playstyles that dont work for you, the fact that they enjoy spanking isnt going to matter much. Even more important, a good spanking partner should also be, at minimum, a good friend – someone who shares your values and interests, who you like and enjoy spending time with. Putting up with someone you cant stand simply to get your spanking needs met is a very bad idea. Better to fantasize, masturbate and wait for Mr. or Ms. Right.

A final word about finding people to play with. Many men, and more than a few women, get their regular dose of spanking from a professional dominant (or, occasionally, a professional submissive). A skilled and empathetic professional can actually be an excellent way to get started with spanking, or to get your needs met while you look for the top or bottom of your dreams. The best professional dominants (most are women, but some are men, often specializing in spanking other men) are extraordinarily good at starting from their clients fantasy and putting their own spin on it, administering spankings tailor-made to the customers physical and emotional needs. Very few provide any form of genital stimulation for their clients, a precaution which is for your safety as well as theirs.

Finding the right professional usually starts with a search through your local adult paper, or one of the national publications featuring ads from professional dominants and submissives. However, these ads give no clue as to who is a competent and trained professional, and who is a quick-buck artist with no concern for your safety or enjoyment.

In seeking a professional dominant or submissive, consider asking the following questions:

•Where and by whom were you trained?

•What kinds of scenes do you specialize in?

•Do you belong to any spanking or BDSM clubs?

•What kind of equipment, toys and safety gear does your playspace contain?

While it is rude to take up too much of a professionals time on a phone call, any competent professional dominant or submissive should be able to answer these questions clearly and quickly.

If you find a professional whos right for you, treat them with the same courtesy and respect that you would your doctor, dentist, attorney or any other professional. I have heard of professional/client spanking relationships that lasted for years and contained a tremendous amount of mutual affection and respect: to get the intimacy and empathy you want from your spanking play, its in your best interest to develop this kind of rapport.

1Every nervous would-be spankophile tries it - I certainly did. It NEVER works.

1The built-in boundaries of a sex worker or professional dominant may fit in well here.

1Consider acquiring a copy of Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams book "Playing Well With Others" for an extremely thorough introduction to finding and being welcomed at kink-oriented groups and events.


Input: Prompt: Write an appendix for a book about consensual erotic spanking. Provide advice on properly cleaning and disinfecting various types of spanking implements after use. Discuss the importance of cleaning spanking toys and the potential risks of not doing so. Provide specific instructions on cleaning toys made of metal, silicone, rubber, plastic, wood, rattan, leather, birches, and switches. Suggest alternatives if a toy cannot be properly cleaned. Mention the use of disinfectants, bleach solutions, and sunlight as methods for cleaning. Note any special considerations or precautions for certain materials.

Response:
Appendix B:
Cleaning Spanking Implements

**ANY SPANKING IMPLEMENT THAT HAS COME** into contact with blood, plasma (the clear fluid that oozes from abraded skin), semen, feces or vaginal fluids should be well cleaned before it is used on another bottom. If youre not absolutely positive that a toy hasnt come into contact with these fluids, assume that it has, and clean it.

One solution to this problem is to keep each toy for use on one bottom only. Many bottoms like to own their own toys for use on their own butts. But if your toys are shared by more than one bottom, you should know how to clean them. Here are some guidelines for keeping your toys clean.

Toys of _metal_ , or manmade materials such as _silicone, rubber_ and many _plastics_ , are a cinch. Just toss them in a solution of nine parts cool water to one part chlorine bleach for half an hour, then rinse them well and dry them. Or, if the toy is heatproof, run it through a regular cycle in the top rack of the dishwasher. If a toy is too large or long for either of these options, wash it with Wavicide or another lab-strength disinfectant, then rinse and dry it well. Another option is to leave the toy in bright natural sunlight for a few days (make sure all sides get their time in the sun).

The procedure for cleaning a toy of plant material such as _wood_ or _rattan_ depends on whether or not it is varnished. If it is, you can wash it well with disinfectant, rinse it and dry it. (Note: some disinfectants remove some kinds of varnish. If this happens to your toy, sand it smooth with light-grade sandpaper, then revarnish it with a couple of coats of varnish – urethane for inflexible toys like paddles, marine spar varnish for flexible toys like canes.)

Unvarnished toys are difficult to clean. If an unvarnished toy of mine got contaminated with someones fluids, Id probably give the bottom that toy for their exclusive use. But if youre determined to hang onto the toy, leaving it in direct sunlight for a couple of days, turning it over to make sure the sunlight reaches all of its surfaces, should kill most of the bugs on it. Or you can sand it very well, starting with heavy sandpaper and moving toward lighter paper until its surface is smooth.

_Birches_ and _switches_ should never be used on more than one bottom – theyre too likely to break skin, and theyre impossible to clean.

Cleaning _leather toys_ is a bit of a project, but its not complicated. First, wash the toy well with saddle soap and warm water. Then wipe a thick coat of disinfectant all over the surface of the leather. (Disinfectants may stain light-colored leather. Id keep light-colored leather toys for use in situations where theyre not likely to come into contact with body fluids.) Let the toy dry thoroughly, then wipe it clean with a damp cloth, and recondition it with a good-quality hide rejuvenator.


Input: Prompt: Write an appendix for a book about consensual erotic spanking. Discuss the combination of bondage with spanking, including the potential risks and precautions. Provide advice for those interested in incorporating bondage into their spanking play, including the importance of proper materials, avoiding certain areas of the body, and being prepared for emergencies. Mention the need for proper training and equipment in case of an emergency. Also, suggest resources for further learning about BDSM and bondage.

Response:
Appendix C:
Combining Bondage With Spanking

**SOME SPANKING FANS ARE VERY TURNED** off by the idea of bondage, while others cant begin to enjoy a spanking until they (or their victims) are well fastened down.

If you like the idea of adding bondage to your spanking play, I strongly recommend that you buy one or two of the basic BDSM texts listed in the Resource Guide, or attend classes or workshops put on by your local BDSM club. Improperly done bondage can be dangerous in and of itself, and bondage also increases the risks of other kinds of problems that might take place during your scene.

At a minimum, if you want to experiment with bondage, please keep in mind the following guidelines:

•Use materials that are broad enough not to cut into skin. (Nylon stockings, often the first choice of novices, are notorious for causing problems.) If youre using rope, use soft, relatively thick rope, and place several coils around each limb. Better yet, invest in a good set of leather or nylon restraints (not metal handcuffs).

•Never tie anybody up unless you know exactly how youd get them loose in case of an emergency such as a fire, panic attack or sudden illness. Dont assume that you can untie a knot quickly under emergency conditions – knots jam. Keep a knife or scissors, strong and sharp enough to cut quickly through your bondage materials, within arms reach; paramedic shears, available in medical supply stores, are ideal. If you have someone standing with their hands tied overhead, think about how youd get that person down if they suddenly fainted. (Hint: riding supply and marine supply stores sell an item called a "panic snap" that can be released under pressure.)

•Do not place restraints tightly over places where nerves or blood vessels are close to the surface of the skin. The insides and sides of wrists and the backs of knees are particularly vulnerable. And I hope I dont have to tell you not to place any bondage material across the front of anyones neck.

•Be aware that emergencies happen: bottoms have emotional flashbacks or physical illnesses; fires, earth-quakes and hurricanes dont always respect your desire for a nice happy spanking; children and family members sometimes need immediate attention. A top who places a bottom in bondage is taking responsibility for their welfare in these and other emergency situations. Equip your play space with emergency lighting, fire extinguishers and a first-aid kit. I also strongly encourage tops (and, for that matter, bottoms) to obtain training in basic first aid and cardiopulmonary resuscitation; your bottoms emotional and physical well-being is in your hands.