Input: The passage discusses the technique of deep throating, including its history, anatomy, tips for avoiding gagging, and how to practice. It also covers the erotic aspects of deep throating and provides tips for taking the technique further. To generate this passage, a prompt could be: "Write a comprehensive guide on deep throating, covering its history, anatomy, tips for avoiding gagging, and how to practice. Also, discuss the erotic aspects of deep throating and provide tips for taking the technique further."

Response:
CHAPTER 9

Deep Throat

Possibly the most famous film of porns golden age was the 1972 film Deep Throat, in which the adult actress Linda Lovelace made her most famous starring appearance. In the film, she played a woman who discovers with the aid of a very randy doctor that her clitoris is located in the back of her throat. Not a terribly complicated (or even possible) idea, but the plot device enabled the filmmaker to showcase Lindas amazing real-life talent for fellating a penis of any size all the way down into her throat. When the filmmaker originally witnessed her doing it in person, in his office, he was inspired to create the film.

When Deep Throat hit the theaters, Lovelaces performance caused such a stir that millions of Americans watched explicit sex onscreen for the first time. Frank Sinatra, Spiro Agnew, Warren Beatty, Truman Capote, Nora Ephron, and Bob Woodward (who used Deep Throat as the name for his key Watergate source) saw the film on its first run, and eventually more people saw Deep Throat in theaters than any other adult film. Deep Throat brought hard core into popular culture and played for eight consecutive years at a theater in Hollywood. And the technique, or at least a name for it, entered our collective consciousness, changing our sexual cultural landscape.

In terms of pleasure and what constitutes an effective blow job, there are countless differing opinions of this technique. Because of its reputation, and because it seems like virtually every porn starlet can sword-swallow with ease, it is an oft-requested skill, and most folks who give head want to know how to do it. Yet, for as many men out there who want their partners to swallow their penis whole, there are an equal number who say that receiving deep throat pales in comparison to, say, having their balls tugged, or getting a fierce and enthusiastic blow job. People who like to perform the technique enjoy it wholesale, relishing that they can take him all the way down, get turned on by the idea and act, and feel incredibly sexy for having the skill. There are lovers who might only do it because their lover wants them to—a turn-on in its own right. Some consider it merely a novelty; others might think its "the bomb." However you come to it, learning to deep throat can increase your ease and comfort with fellatio in general, and its a terrific skill to add to your fellatio bag of tricks.

> > > One of my favorite things to do is when hes all the way in I "milk" him with my tongue and throat. I hold my head totally still; I can do this and masturbate at the same time, which I always want to do. He makes the most amazing noises!

Deep throating, novelty or not, can feel delicious to the recipient. The tip of your finger is a great place to begin understanding why—next time youre in the proximity of a chocolate cake, dip one of your fingers in the frosting and suck it off, using the front part of your mouth (lips and tongue). The tip is the most sensitive part of your finger, in the same way his penis is most sensitive at the head and along the underside. This feels really good, but see how your finger feels when you push it all the way in, down to the base (if you can). Your finger is completely surrounded by the warmth and wetness of your mouth. This is the allure and pleasure of deep throating. When you take him all the way in, he is completely engulfed by the pleasurable sensations of your mouth. And for some men, the act itself can be a fantasy-fulfilling turn-on, or an emotionally satisfying act of acceptance.

Learning the logistics of deep throating is half the battle. Familiarizing yourself with anatomy of the mouth and throat will give you an idea of what exactly is going on when his penis goes past the back of your tongue. Underlying your oral anatomy are the nerve responses that trigger pleasurable messages to your brain and also the dreaded gag reflex. Angles and positioning are key for comfort and sustaining the activity—yours and his—for any length of time. Breathing and rhythm are also a big part of the process, both of which work in tandem. Combine these elements with your own preferred tricks and techniques, and youll be deep throating in ease, comfort, and pleasure.

The Anatomy of the Mouth and Throat

If youve never had any trouble with your mouth, you probably havent given it much thought. Blowing kisses, licking ice cream, crunching popcorn, swallowing saliva, talking a mile a minute—these things all happen with nary a conscious thought, like breathing. Our entire oral cavity is a system of constant motion, aqueous and in flux, a self-maintaining motion machine that performs numerous functions and is supported by hundreds of muscles, glands, and even helpful bacteria. Let our tour begin with a kiss.

Illustration 10. Anatomy of the Mouth and Throat

Our lips are the first thing we meet: two soft and very sensitive membranes that line the opening of the mouth, the covering skin being somewhere between true skin and the moist mucous membrane that lines the inside of your mouth. The lips are made of muscle fibers interspersed with elastic tissues that are filled with hundreds of nerve endings, making them amazingly, deliciously sensitive. Beyond the lips are teeth, which should remain covered whenever possible throughout your oral sex session. The receptive and versatile tongue lines the bottom of your mouth, and its another excellent tool in your oral sex arsenal and a means by which you can taste and erotically take in your lovers cock. On the front roof of the mouth is your hard palate, which flows into the back of your mouth to become the soft palate—these palates provide a firm backing for creating suction with your tongue and the seal of your lips. The soft palate is where the mouth ends and the throat begins.

Its crucial to understand where these two worlds of the mouth and throat meet, because deep throating is an act of swallowing. When you look into your throat, you can see the uvula hanging down; the area behind it is known as the fauces. The fauces rounds out the curvature in the back of your throat, arcing down and becoming the hidden pharynx, which continues unseen to your vocal cords. The pharynx is the transition between your throat and the openings of both windpipe (trachea) and esophagus. When you deep throat, your partners penis (or strap-on) will travel this far.

Separating the windpipe and esophagus is an upright flap of cartilage called the epiglottis. This erect, yet flexible, matron guards both openings like a stern gatekeeper, taking cues from nerve responses about which direction to turn and either allow air in or out, or provide a passage for food and liquids to reach their proper destination, the stomach. Swallowing elicits the response of the epiglottis to lying against the windpipe, closing off air to the lungs for a momentary passing of fluids or fuel. To swallow anything, you have to stop breathing for a second, and to swallow a stiff cock youll need to keep this in mind and time your breaths accordingly.

If something lingers in your pharynx for a moment too long, or if the object is large and/or hard, your body will intervene on your behalf and attempt to expel whatever is holding up the breathing by triggering your gag reflex. This is an involuntary nerve response, meaning that it happens without your thinking about it, and gagging is your bodys defense against choking. The throat muscles constrict to push out the foreign object, and the constriction occasionally can (sometimes quickly, especially with repeated force from an object) trigger a vomit response. Gagging will make you salivate as well—saliva is like natures own lube, so dont be embarrassed.

The gag reflex can be overcome, or at least worked around. Some people can control it quite easily. Some happy fellators even shrug and say, "What gag reflex?"—while many others contend with it occasionally obeying their wishes and other times not at all. There are a number of techniques you can employ during fellatio to move past the reflex and keep the action going, though it makes all the difference in the world if desire, arousal, and passion are driving your oral sex session. Its tough not to gag if you dont want to be going down on him. Its easier not to gag if youre really turned on.

Tips for Avoiding Gagging

> > > I heard this from a gay guy: take a deep breath and hold it in. That stops the gag reflex.

You can sense the feeling of gagging as it comes on, and plan ahead with your response. Keeping your hand on his penis is essential; you can stave off deep thrusts that might trigger gagging by using your hand as a spacer. As your throat constricts, try the following suggestions:

> > • Back off and continue your strokes. Take a few deep breaths, and swallow. Then return to what you were doing.

> > • Try an alternating pattern with your mouth and hand: take him in your mouth and then back out for a few strokes of your hand, and repeat.

> > • If possible, move the head of his penis to the front of your mouth and hold still for a moment until the feeling passes.

> > • Remember to breathe while going down; this helps a lot.

> > • Give yourself regular breaks from having him in your mouth; this is especially helpful if you gag easily.

> > • Practice on a dildo or penis-sized vegetable before you go down, and learn to work with your gag reflex.

> > • Explore any psychological reasons you might be impelled to gag. If the sex act, sex in general, or his genitals are offensive to you, explore why you might be feeling this way. Learn as much as you can about what bothers you, and if you arent ready for this, then reconsider performing oral sex until you are ready.

> > • Dont go down on him if youre already feeling ill, or have consumed drugs or alcohol that may make you feel queasy. Some prescription drugs can make you feel nauseated and will make your gag reflex extra sensitive.

> > • Shift the angle at which his penis is entering your mouth. Many people say that coming down on him from above is easier; try having him lie down or sit, with you facing his feet.

> > • If you need a break but dont want to take him out of your mouth, shift the angle of his penis from the back of your throat to your cheek.

> > • Use arousal to decrease the gag reflex. It does wonders!

> > > The biggest obstacle is the gag reflex. Some of it is psychological, but some is physiological. If I tune in to my arousal primarily, it helps me overcome that reflex.

> > >
>

> > > If I relax, take a slow deep breath, and take it bit by bit, it works. I have to get my throat used to it. It eventually slides right in.

> > >
>

> > > It helps to make sure he doesnt thrust. I have to do all the moving.

When you deep throat a penis or dildo, you are swallowing it all the way past the opening of your throat. Whats more, youre not just putting it in there for a second before its over—youre giving head, so its going to be pushing down your throat over and over. The only way to be able to do this is to overcome your gag reflex through practice. Famous magician Harry Houdini was a master of his own gag reflex. Magicians are physical performers who practice physical acts over and over until they seem effortless, and Houdini did exactly this with his throat. He would use the back of his throat as a hiding place for objects, putting them in his mouth and holding them easily in his throat, then bringing them back up when he needed them. Dont try this at home, kids—but what I am suggesting is that with practice, anything is possible, and this is very true of conquering the urge to gag.

Practice First

Practice on a dildo—anything similar in size and shape to the penis you intend to deep throat is good, or get something as close to realistic as you can (if youll be giving head to a guy; if you will be fellating another dildo, then pick a similar one). Do not use anything that will break and possibly choke you, like a banana, and do not use anything that could slip from your grasp when its in your throat—for deep throat practice, cucumbers and zucchinis are out.

Make sure you always have a hold on the dildo; dildos with a base you can grab onto are recommended, because you can use the base like a handle and not worry about it going too deep, and you can easily back it out if you panic. Insert it into your mouth, and gradually let yourself get comfortable with the way it feels. With a gentle in-and-out motion, slowly push it a little farther back each time. Ease it in as far as feels comfortable to you, and remember to breathe around the dildo. When it reaches a certain point it will be difficult to take a breath, and its easy to panic—as it goes deep into your throat, youll want to exhale before you push it in, then inhale when you pull it out. Use this breathing technique when you deep throat your lover. Experiment with the sensation of swallowing with the dildo in your throat, and try a few practice thrusts as you become more comfortable. Practice every day until you feel confident to try it in real life.

> > > I start by placing it near the back of my throat, and then by degrees, I swallow more. I find after awhile that I am able to bypass the gag reflex. Its best not to deep throat him on a full stomach, also.

> > >
>

> > > Ive always found it works best with him lying down or leaning back, and to kneel beside him approaching him perpendicularly. I find that if I am sitting, I cant get the angle right and have to be on my knees (unless he is really narrow, which makes it all-around easier). Sometimes it works better if I am facing the opposite direction pointing toward his feet—its all about positioning for me.

> > >
>

> > > The best deep throat blow job I have ever received was when this girl hung her head over the side of the bed. I am over 7 inches and she took it all down her throat all the way to my balls. I couldnt believe it.

Certain positions are conducive to opening up your throat, which makes deep throating easier. When youre on your knees facing him, his penis is going to wind up pointing upward toward the soft palate in the back of your throat—right where it will trigger the strongest gag reflex. Angling his cock down your throat (not toward the top of your mouth) is the most comfortable way to deep throat and will make you gag the least. The best position is lying on your back, with your head tilted back and slightly off the edge of a bed or couch. Try it, and youll see how it elongates your neck and throat. Approaching the penis from above is also easier on your palate, and many people report that the angle of insertion is excellent for deep penetration. Another good position is 69 (reciprocal oral sex); you are essentially approaching from above, and the pathway down your throat is straightened.

Breathing , or remembering to breathe, is another essential component of deep throating (and not gagging). Time your up and down strokes with your breath. Inhale as you draw him in; exhale as you pull him out. It will almost seem as if you were breathing him in, a sexy notion itself. The best place to see breathing techniques in action is in porn; Deep Throat is a great example.

An Aphrodisiac for the Orally Fixated

People who deep throat may already have a handle on the link between their arousal and taking him all the way down—many find that deep throating turns them on like nothing else. There are two primary arousal sources stemming from deep throating: the physical stimulation, including the arousal hormones that are released, and the mental stimulation, encompassing the realms of fantasy fulfillment and desire. Some people find it turns them on so much, and so reliably, that its their favorite sex act, period.

Your mouth is an erogenous zone, no question about it—but in its entirety. The back of your mouth, tongue, palate, and throat have a different range and number of nerve endings than the sensitive front of your mouth, but they transmit messages of pleasure to your brain (and genitals) just the same. Sucking (suckling) and swallowing in an erotic context stimulates nerve pathways whose function is to build on your arousal levels, including increasing the production of the arousal hormone, oxytocin. We get physical gratification from oral stimulation, and we get it in spades when we swallow our lover to the root. The intimacy of the complete face-to-penis contact inherent in deep throating is overwhelmingly hot. This encompasses all the other stimulating sensory information, such as seeing him up close and smelling his skin and pubic hair. The physical eroticism of deep throating cant be found anywhere else in the realm of sex. The physical sensory information is overwhelming, and it combines easily with the mental stimulation stemming from the act—physical and mental stimulation being required to work in tandem to produce arousal and orgasm. The reality of deep throating is right there in your face, and this is an incredible turn-on for many of us. Merely the fact (and realization) that youre doing it is hot—youre directly anchored to the moment, fully present. In addition, your fantasy life can be anywhere when youve got him in your throat. You can imagine that youre in a roomful of people, in public, a porn star, or anything else that turns you on.

Taking Deep Throat Further

Now that youve got the technique in your bag of tricks, know all there is to know about how and why it works, and know how to use it to turn yourself on, take your technique as far as it can go. There are a number of tricks and twists on the technique that can help you to heighten the experience for both of you. Youll likely come up with several of your own along the way, but here are some suggestions:

> > • When hes in deep, freeze, and swallow.

> > • Instead of moving your head, constrict your throat muscles around his penis, making the rhythmic movement occur within you.

> > • Put him all the way in and vary your rhythm with long and short strokes: alternate short and deep for a few beats, then long and deep for a few.

> > • Swallowing the head of his cock, twist your head slightly and slowly from side to side.

> > • Experiment with extending your tongue out the front of your mouth. It will rub the sensitive underside of his shaft.

> > • When you exhale, moan to vibrate him in your mouth.

> > • To give your hands something to do, cup, fondle, or tug on his balls, stimulate his perineum with your fingertips, penetrate his anus with your fingers or a sex toy. You can also reach up and play with his nipples.

> > • Grab his hips and bring him into your mouth, "forcing" him all the way in.

> > • Put his hands on your head. He can rest them lightly and enjoy feeling your head move in addition to the fellatio, or he can move your head as he likes. It might turn you both on to have him "use" your head and mouth in this way. An adventurous variation is for him to grab fistfuls of your hair.

Oral Authority

by Alison Tyler

"Im going to teach you how to suck cock," Audrey assured me after I confessed my lack of expertise in that particular sexual arena. I looked over at my beautiful blonde best friend, then let my gaze wander down to the crotch of her chicly faded 501s. She caught the glance and knew exactly what I was thinking. "Not on me, silly," she explained, "on Duncan." When I remained silent, she glanced up at me from her velvet sofa, her startling green eyes opened wide. "You do like Duncan, dont you, Stella?"

Now, I blushed. Duncan was Audreys very attractive roommate. He had a regular spot on one of those beach-babe shows, and his body was just incredible. Tanned. Muscular. Perfect for the lifeguard he played on TV. Aside from that, he was actually an extremely nice guy. The thought of using him as a living sex toy both excited and terrified me.

"Why not start me off with a banana?" I asked, twirling one of my caramel-colored curls around my fingertips.

"Bananas break," Audrey said knowingly. "You dont want to choke. If anything, we can use a cucumber to get you ready while we wait for Duncan to show up."

Before I could say a word, she headed to the kitchen. I heard her rustling around in the refrigerator, and we she came back, she had a slender zucchini in one hand. "We were all out of cukes. So hold this while I buzz Duncan." That said, she dashed off a quick message to her roommate on his Blackberry, and then she returned to cuddle next to me on her leopard-print lounge. I sat staring at the vegetable and wondering why I was getting so wet.

"Heres the deal," Audrey began. "Breathing is the most important part of going down deep. Before you slide the zucchini into your throat, I want you to exhale—"

Her instructions reminded me of my Yoga class. Dont breathe the breath, let the breath breathe you. Still, I did my best, pretending the veggie was Duncan and slipping the head into my mouth. As I worked the slippery zucchini farther in, Audrey continued, "Inhale when you pull it out, and youll be ready for him to slide inside you again." I pushed the smooth veggie-tool back into my throat, and I tentatively tried swallowing down on it. Quickly, I pulled the zucchini back out again.

"It feels weird," I said, hoping I didnt sound too panicked.

"You need the real thing," Audrey assured me. "But dont worry, Ill never leave your side. What you require in this sort of situation is an oral authority." I stared down at the slippery zucchini discarded despondently in my lap. "Giving head is just like anything else," Audrey continued. "You learn the little tricks of the trade, and your confidence grows. Duncan will be gentle with you. Just keep your hand on the base of his cock, and youll be in control. You can push back if hes going too fast."

Duncan arrived ten minutes later. I wondered how many red lights hed run on his way over, but I didnt bother asking. My face was probably as crimson as my dress, and I found that I couldnt meet his eyes. He sat down on the chair across from me and just smiled, obviously waiting for someone to tell him the game plan. Audrey perched her lithe body up on the arm of his chair and started whispering to him. I could make out snippets of her discussion—"Not a virgin, just not super comfortable with the whole idea"—and then I looked down at my hands again.

After a moment, Duncan came to sit by my side. "Is it something you really want to learn, Stella?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Then its best to practice with friends," and the Cheshire grin on his face let me know he understood just how ridiculous this all was. A willing girl was going to give him a blow job, and he would be expected to give instructions all the way through. "But Id like it if Audrey would help you relax, first," he said, and as he spoke, my naughty best friend got into position on the floor between my thighs and lifted the hem of my dress. As soon as I felt Audreys breath on my panties, I sighed. And as soon as I sighed, Duncan put my hand on the crotch of his jeans. We were starting from the top.

Slowly, I worked down his button fly. Then I watched as he split the jeans open for me, revealing his erection. Audrey had her mouth pressed against my pussy now through my panties, and I turned my head and opened my own mouth, bringing the tip of Duncans hard-on between my lips. "Thats the way," he said, sliding his hands through my light brown curls. "You just relax and take it all the way down. The key word here is relax, and remember to breathe—"

I swallowed against the smooth, silky skin of his cock, then drew the length farther down my throat. As I worked him harder, Audrey continued her kissing and licking games between my legs. Suddenly, I realized that she wasnt simply working to build my arousal, she was showing me how I was supposed to tease Duncan. Closing my eyes, I paid attention to Audreys lesson. I swirled my tongue around the shaft of Duncans cock, then closed my lips firmly on the head. When Audrey tricked the tip of her tongue in a circle around my clit, I did the same thing to the head of Duncans cock. And when she brought her hands into the action, cradling my hips and lifting up, I slid one hand down to cup and stroke Duncans balls.

"Oh, yeah," he moaned, "just lightly. Just like that."

But what I really wanted to do was learn how to swallow. This had always made me back off from going down on a man. The not knowing what would happen frightened me too much to ever remain calm. My throat would close down, and Id pull away and shake my head. Now, as Audrey continued to dine on me, I felt a wave of excitement transplant my previous fear. Duncan brought one hand against my throat, and he stroked there. "Relax," he said. "Relax and just let it happen. If you need to pull back for a second, thats okay."

At his instructions, I felt myself open up, felt his cock slip a little farther down my throat. Duncan sped up the rhythm now, sliding back and forth, gaining a bit of headroom with each thrust. It was as if he were fucking all the way through me, and that thought turned me on even more. As I grew more aroused, I worked him with a fiercer intensity. My fingers tripped down behind his balls, and I caressed that magical spot back there, danced the tips of my fingers more firmly against his skin. Duncan continued to help me now, thrusting deeper and deeper into my throat. I had to move to get more comfortable, and I pulled away from Audrey and went on all fours on the sofa, facing Duncan, drinking him.

Immediately, Audrey got behind me on the sofa, and she slid my panties down my thighs and squirmed her way back into a position that allowed her to go to work on my pussy once again. And as she brought me right to the peak, Duncan started to come. I could tell when it was going to happen by the way his moans grew louder, his breathing harsher. He gripped his hands onto my shoulders, held tight, and shot his load deep down my throat. I swallowed against him, draining every last drop, and then slowly he slid from my lips and collapsed back against the sofa.

Pulling away from Audrey, I sprawled next to him. I could taste his juices still, the tart taste of come, slightly salty, very sexy. When I flicked my tongue over my top lip, Duncan gave me one of his trademark smiles. "See?" he murmured, reaching out to stroke my hair out of my eyes. "Now, youre an oral authority as well."

I looked at him, then looked over at my green-eyed friend, whose mouth was shiny with my own erotic juices. "Time to share the pleasure," I told Duncan as we both reached for Audrey and spread her out on the couch...


Input: "Write a comprehensive guide on advanced fellatio techniques, including the use of sex toys such as cock rings, vibrators, dildos, and harnesses. Discuss anal penetration and the role of the prostate during fellatio. Also, provide information on rimming, erotic pressure points, and the use of heat and cold for increased pleasure."

Response:
CHAPTER 10

More Techniques

Fellatio has this lovely, Zen-like way of being able to flow in and out of a wide variety of sexual activities. You can make it the only thing you do with your lover, a hands-and-mouth-only encounter, you can pepper it into your regular intercourse routine—or you can really spice things up by combining it with sex toys, penetration, or more. Pressure points can be stimulated to bring him to higher points of ecstasy, using the sensations of heat and cold can enhance pleasure, and you can try mixing pain with pleasure, adding bondage, or fantasy play to push the boundaries of fellatio.

Sex Toys

As we come to realize that we adults really like to be big kids sometimes, and that oral sex is one of the areas in which we can really be playful, then its only natural for the fellatio discussion to turn to sex toys. The world of sex toys is big (and sometimes overwhelming), and there are quite a few you can add to fellatio, or use to enhance certain aspects of your stimulation.

Cock Rings

A cock ring is a ring worn around the penis and testicles to apply a steady pressure around the base, slightly restricting the blood flow to the penis. Not for all (but enjoyed by many), cock rings provide a continuous squeeze to his penis and testicles that can make any stimulation feel more pleasurable. The universally recognized cock ring style is a single leather band with snaps. It goes over the top of the peniss base and continues around and behind the testicles. Cock rings do not help with erectile difficulties, but many men say they help their erections last longer—however, this is different for everyone. But cock rings do have a nice way of pushing everything out and up…making a nice visual when youre up close and personal.

There are different types and styles of cock rings. They come in leather, fabric, neoprene, and various plastics and rubbers, and not all have snaps. Some snap, others fasten with Velcro, tie, or have sliding closures, and some are just rubber rings that stretch wide and slip on. A whole selection of complicated and torturous cock rings is available, and if your guy likes extra pressure or feelings of intense constriction when hes sliding in and out of your mouth, you can find cock rings with multiple straps, ball stretchers, ball dividers, or D-ring attachments for weights, ties, or leashes. Start with a single, simple ring, and see if he likes it.

Unless youre experienced with cock rings, never use rings that are metal or arent stretchy enough to remove easily. These rings can come off only when he ejaculates or his erection subsides, which means icing him down if he panics or experiences pain or discomfort. Needless to say, if he experiences pain or discomfort when using a cock ring, remove the ring immediately.

Cock rings are easiest to apply and remove on men who trim or shave their pubic hair, but thats not required. Just keep an eye on hair that can get snagged when removing a stretchy rubber ring.

Vibrators

Do men really like vibrators? You bet. Some men like them a lot, and for these guys you can pick up a vibe and add it to your oral feast. Choosing what to use depends on what you have in mind. There are vibrators on the market for just about every scenario you can imagine, though you can always use any type of vibe in a pinch.

Men who like vibration have preferences as to how intense, where, and when in their pleasure cycle they like it. When youre not sure, ask him or have him show you. Generally speaking, vibration right on the head of his penis might feel too intense—popular spots where men like vibration are underneath the head, along the underside of the shaft (possibly at the base), and on their testicles, perineum, or anus. Access is easiest when he is lying on his back. You can easily hold his penis in your mouth and vibrate the underside of the shaft, run the vibe over his balls, or push farther south if hes game. For more on anal penetration, see the section later in this chapter.

Vibrators come in a kaleidoscopic assortment. You can buy them in penis shapes, whale shapes, smooth curves, or bumpy rides. You can find small ones that can be worn on the tip of your finger—perfect for fellatio, but dont insert them anywhere. Some are flared at the base for anal penetration and can be worn in strap-on harnesses. Vibrators also come with variations on speed and motion; some are made for penetration, while others are not. Vibrators are generally made of hard plastic or rubber blends: jelly rubber, clear or opaque, and quite porous; Cyberskin, lifelike, and extremely porous; vinyl, in flat colors, and not porous; and silicone, in many opaque colors, completely nonporous, and sterilizable. Porous models hold bacteria (which they pick up a lot of when used for penetration), so its best to use these with condoms or toss them after a few uses—which is why theyre inexpensive, and silicone fetches high prices. Hard plastic is nonporous.

Some vibrators vibrate, some pulse; they can have many speeds, dials, or just one or two speeds. When in doubt, buy a vibe with variable speeds, since a one-speed model may not necessarily be at the right speed for you or your partner; you can adjust the vibration intensity on these as you go. There are also insertable and noninsertable vibrators: all insertables are on a shaft of some kind, with no openings that would allow moisture to enter. No, you wont get shocked, but moisture would ruin your toy. Noninsertable vibrators, such as "egg" vibrators and Silver Bullets, are smaller and have cords attached. Never insert these and think you can tug on the cord to get them out—all battery-operated vibes are cheaply made, and you will just yank the cord out, leaving the vibe in. Electric vibrators are more reliable but also more expensive, and they almost always have only two speeds. Vibrators that can be worn on fingers are fantastic for fellatio—you just let your fingers do the walking while you lick—but dont insert these, either. Waterproof vibes are a good option, because they can take all the juices you can throw at them and they clean up easily in the sink, with no worry about getting water in the wrong areas.

Dildos and Harnesses

Dildos are sex toys used for penetration that do not vibrate. Theyre usually phallic-shaped, though you can find them in rocket shapes, whale shapes, and goddess images, or fashioned to represent objects dart. They come in all shapes and sizes, a mind-boggling palate of colors, and a huge variety of materials. Made of everything from silicone to Cyberskin and Lucite to polished wood, dildos run the gamut of style and form. Most dildos that you find in women-run and boutique sex toy shops have a base, meaning a flat, circular end that allows you to stand them up, erect and proud. The base isnt just for display; its usually there to make the dildo harness-compatible for those who want to engage in strap-on sex. Not all dildos have bases; some have a set of wrinkly balls to add a (perhaps ironic) touch of realism. A dildo can be used manually during fellatio—using it to penetrate him while you give him head—he can use it on himself, or one of you can wear the dildo in a harness while the other fellates. Read more about going down on a strap-on in chapter 8, "Any Way You Want It."

Harnesses can be worn by lovers of any gender for fun with strap-on fellatio. When selecting a harness, consider the look, fit, and functionality of the harness youd like to wear. Most harnesses come in black, but you can find them in specialty shops in pink, blue, red, and white leather, glittery neoprene, or colored rubber. Youll find them in soft, buttery leathers, cool rubber, wetsuit material (neoprene), fabric, and Spandex. Skip the prepackaged dildo and harness kits and spend the extra dollars on separate items from women-run shops; the prepackaged sets are cheaply made, and their quality is unpredictable. Next, consider how you want to wear your dildo. Ask yourself if you want access to your genitals. Harnesses come in two main styles: two-strap (with the straps lying in the crease between your genitals and thighs) or single-strap (like a G-string panty). However, you can also find harnesses that fit in other styles, like bicycle shorts. Last, make sure that your harness will fit your dildo. The center ring may not be the same size as the dildo you select, and this could make a carefully planned evening a disappointment.

Anal Penetration

> > > Most guys Ive been with go nuts when I grab their butt cheeks in both hands when theyre in my mouth. This way you can also see how he might like having his butt hole touched.

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> > > Touching his asshole when I go down on him is like pressing a magic button to make him come.

For me, finding out that my male lover likes anal penetration is like eating ice cream when you havent had it in a really long time. Penetration is one of those very amazing things that connects you with your lover like nothing else, and it can be an incredible turn-on for both of you. With your finger or fingers, a dildo, or a vibrator, you enter into a realm of pleasure that is as deep for him as it is intimate for both of you. And in some men its like hitting a pleasure switch—even the lightest touch on the outside of the anus sweeps some men straight to orgasm.

Many men (though not all) enjoy penetration during fellatio—that is, as long as you dont stop or interrupt the blow job. Fingers are wonderful to penetrate with, and as opposed to sex toys, they afford you the most feeling and movement. Youll already have your hands on him caressing and adding to your oral encounter, and when hes turned on you can experiment with massaging his buttocks and caressing the crack between his cheeks. If he responds positively, try slowly sliding a finger over the opening to his anus while youre giving him head. Be sure your hands are clean (read: scrubbed—no dirt or grime under your nails) and your fingernails are trimmed and filed smooth. Make sure you dont have any tiny cuts or hangnails.

If youve talked to him about penetration beforehand, youve got it under control and are way ahead of the game. Discussing anal play before you try it is advised, unless you and your lover already have sexual adventure and exploration on the table. Anal play for someone whos not ready for it can be very unsettling; dont guess how he might react, because for some guys, anal penetration is going too far. So, how do you add anal penetration to oral sex and make it pleasurable? Follow the three golden rules: go very slowly, listen to the person youre penetrating, and use lots of lube.

If you know hes into penetration, and he is at the point when hes not sure if he should be thrusting into your mouth or bucking onto your hand, check your accessories. You should have plenty of lube, and gloves or finger cots. The anus is an unlubricated area; it does not self-lubricate like a mouth or vagina, and the skin is thin enough to abrade easily. Use lube, lots of lube. You can never have too much lubricant. Use a thick, water-based lube. For smooth hands and to avoid getting bacteria from the anus on your hands, have a latex (or nonlatex nitrile or polyurethane) glove at the ready, or already on. Gloves also provide a firm, slippery sensation that feels absolutely delicious on the delicate anal tissues.

With the flat of your finger, or fingers, press lightly on the opening and hold it there. Increase the pressure a little, massaging and pressing in circular motions. Go very slowly, and listen to his cues or verbal instructions—for some, simply having their anus touched is all it takes to push them over the edge. Pay attention to lubrication, and never rely on saliva. In porn films they make it look like thats all they use, but thats not the case—they just dont show you the anal suppositories and numerous applications of lube.

Move your flattened fingers in a circular motion, and begin experimenting with penetration by pressing one well-lubed finger at the base of the opening (toward his tailbone). Massage the openings base, and ask him if he wants you to go farther. Slowly slide your finger in up to the first joint (about an inch), and hold it there for a few breaths. Youll feel the ring of muscles around his opening squeeze and contract—just stay still as the muscles relax.

When you feel the muscles relax, slide your finger in slowly a little bit more, then back out, doing a gentle in-and-out, not all the way in yet. Once again, this may be all it takes for him to come, or to decide that its not what he wants right now—but if he does want more, following his directions and body language from here, you can progress to more stimulation. You can go deeper or faster, or even add more fingers—but the rule of thumb is to do everything so slowly that you can practically feel the seasons changing around you. Anal penetration hurts when you go too fast, you dont use enough lube, the recipient isnt relaxed, or he doesnt really want to be doing it.

Once hes anally warmed up and ready for more penetration, you can bring anal sex toys into the picture. Sex toys used for anal penetration must have a flared base, meaning a base that prevents them from being pulled into the anal canal, where they can get lost—a nightmare waiting to happen. The sphincter muscles have minds of their own and like to squeeze and contract at will; we cannot control them. This serves to push and pull things in and out of the anus, and once something gets pulled in, theres no guarantee youre going to get it out without a trip to the hospital—which is what youd have to do to prevent serous injury if, say, a hot, battery-powered vibrator went AWOL. Take a look at a standard butt plug and youll see exactly what a flared base should look like. Buy toys that are safe for anal use, and dont get cute with carrots.

Vibrators can feel fantastic on the ass during fellatio, and you can tease and penetrate while you suck. The thing to know about vibrators and anal stimulation is that the outer third of the anus, and the prostate, contain more nerve endings than the anal canal and respond best to touch and vibration. The inner portion, inside the canal, has fewer nerve endings near the skins surface and responds to feelings of fullness, pressure, and rhythm.

So, a vibrator will feel intense (intensely good) around the opening and the prostate area. But the vibration wont be a factor deep inside—the size, shape, and motion of the vibe will. To maximize your buzz, select insertable vibrators that have the vibration located at the base. When bringing a vibe into the action, start on the lowest speed, and give him more as he asks for it.

Squirt liberal amounts of lube on any toy you use, and reapply frequently. You can fuck the daylights out of him anally with a dildo he likes. Or, insert a butt plug and keep it in place while you suck and bring him to orgasm; just dont leave it in for extended periods, or it will get downright uncomfortable. Chances are good that his PC muscles will squeeze the plug out before he orgasms; if you like, you can hold it in place with your free hand. It can also get forced out during orgasm, which is an okay way to remove it. But if its big and stays in place, after he comes ask him to take a few deep breaths and let him know you are going to remove the plug on an exhale—then remove it on the second or third exhale.

The Prostate

In men, anal stimulation and penetration can crank up the arousal for a variety of reasons, some psychological and some physical. One big, or little, reason is that rising star on the stage of sex play, the prostate gland. Much ado has been made about the prostate, and this tiny celebrity of the glandular glitterati doesnt show any signs of slowing down as men and their partners discover the erotic potential of prostate stimulation.

In most every sex book youll pick up, if you can find a reference to the prostate gland at all (without it being exclusively related to cancer), youll notice a few strange things about the way authors tend to deal with the subject. Some impart a homophobic tone that makes even me wonder if Im repressing anything—and this goes for both male and female authors. Its as if they wanted you to be absolutely sure theyre straight when theyre telling you about whats inside guys butts, and that you are too, and that everyones still straight after they read about it. The concept of male anal penetration obviously carries a lot of stigma and shame for these authors. This would be funny, if it werent so frustrating trying to get information out of their texts. The other unfortunate thing most books do when they cover real-life, try-this-at-home prostate stimulation (which is rare) is rush through the material and present it in a cold context, as if no one would really try this during sex. The gay guides are straightforward and enthusiastic, but there arent many of them available. And the straight manuals never suggest that the man try to find the prostate for himself—especially during masturbation, which is something I highly recommend. Oh, and did I mention that prostate play, or the enjoyment thereof, has nothing to do with sexual orientation? It doesnt. End of discussion.

The prostate gland is located at just about the center of the male urogenital system, inside the perineal wall. It sits just below the bladder, producing the fluid that mixes with semen in ejaculate, and is connected to the urethra, the muscles that line the perineum, and the sphincter muscle. If theres an epicenter to male orgasm, then this must be it. For a thorough understanding of prostate anatomy and location, see chapter 2, "The Anatomy of a Mans Pleasure." Many men, though not all, find that when theyre aroused, prostate stimulation is intensely pleasurable; thats because the nerve pathway form the brain to the penis runs through the rectum, and one large nerve bundle is located just beneath the prostate. Additionally, the root of the penis is more or less anchored at the prostate, so when you massage the prostate you also transmit sensation to the base of his penis.

The gland is rounded, shaped like a walnut, but slightly cleaved down the center so it has a furrowed seam and two subtle halves that can be felt with the pad of your finger (when touched from inside the anus). In size it can be anywhere from the size of a small chestnut to a large walnut, or even larger in men over forty. When hes aroused, it swells and becomes firm to the touch, and its a lot easier to feel it. Plus, its much more fun to touch when hes hot and bothered.

Begin your prostate explorations when hes good and ready; the prostate is easier to find when hes aroused, and he will enjoy the touch more at this point. You can stimulate his prostate externally, through the perineum, or internally, by inserting a finger, dildo, or butt plug into his anus. External stimulation is done by massaging or applying gentle pressure to his perineum, on the area near, but not on, the anal opening. See if he likes this; not all men do, and some might find it downright uncomfortable. Try vibration, and see how that feels, too.

Penetration is the most direct way to stimulate the prostate. The preceding section has all the information you need on the importance of lubrication, patience, communication, and safety—follow the rules! But prostate stimulation differs slightly, because you focus your attention on the gland rather than on the fullness, pressure, or rhythm youre applying to his rectum. When hes aroused and ready for penetration, take the necessary steps to pleasurably insert your finger, then slightly curve it toward the front of his body: facing him (perhaps with his penis in your mouth or other hand), make a come-hither stroking motion with your finger. Dont poke, push, or stab forward. The gland is delicate, and because of its positioning, some men report the sensation of having to pee when its stimulated. Thats a feeling that some men dont like at all, and you may wind up switching activities if hes uncomfortable. If he experiences any pain when his prostate is touched, he should have it checked by his doctor.

Apart from possibly making him feel like peeing, touching his prostate will certainly make him feel a fullness and pressure that he can feel in his penis. Juicy men who are prone to leaking pre-come may leak a little more when you massage their prostate; thats because the prostate is where the fluid comes from. Massage it gently but firmly; you can simply move your finger in the come-hither motion, or you can keep your curved finger stiff and move it in and out. As he gets close to orgasm the gland will swell more, and it will get quite hard before he ejaculates. The orgasms from prostate stimulation are often described by men as deep, intense, and powerful.

Rimming

Rimming, or analingus, is kissing, caressing, or penetrating your lovers anal opening with your tongue. For many people, rimming is a delicious experience, on both the giving and the receiving end. Some say there is nothing as arousing as having their lovers warm, soft tongue and lips give them pleasure in such an incredibly intimate place, and those who love to give it find the experience equally arousing. Also, the feeling of doing something taboo or "dirty" heightens the experience for some. Because the delicate pucker of the anus is packed with sensitive nerve endings, rimming can be all it takes to push someone over the orgasmic edge.

For men, rimming adds a new spectrum of pleasure to the sexual experience. A fantastic blow job can include delicate licks and flutters of the tongue on and around the anus, and rimming can be a great introduction to the sensation of anal penetration. For men who enjoy being penetrated, this is a delicious tease for the main course to come, and for men who arent sure about penetration, rimming allows them to comfortably try out the sensation of anal stimulation to see if they might like it.

The easiest position for rimming is doggie-style, with the rim-ee on all fours. This lets you gently spread his cheeks with your hands, and see everything clearly as you dip your tongue in and out. If he has a lot of hair down there, this position is optimal for parting the furry seas—and if this notion makes you uncomfortable, let it be known that everyone has hair down there. If you do not naturally have hair around your anus, you are either a) too young to be reading this, b) shaving or waxing it, or c) a genetic anomaly. Doggie-style licking is ideal because it also provides a fantastic rear view of his testicles, which you can squeeze, rub, and pull on as you lick. Also, you can pull his erect penis back between his legs for reverse cocksucking, though some men find this uncomfortable. When in doubt, ask how it feels.

With the delicate pucker of the anus in full view, gently kiss and lick his cheeks as they slope inward toward the crack. Work your way closer into the furrow, taking your time to let him get used to the sensation—or to tease him if you know he likes it. You can make your first touch in various ways:

> > • Lick the entire furrow from top to bottom as you would an ice-cream cone, with a big, flat tongue.

> > • With softened lips, kiss it directly, over and over.

> > • Press your flattened tongue against the opening and hold it, then slowly start to move it in up and down, or give him an in-and-out massage.

> > • With the very tip of your tongue, lightly lick in a ring around the rim of the opening—"rimming" him.

You can start with one of these and then try them all out to see what he likes. When you find something that makes him moan, groan, and push his butt in your face, stay with it for a few minutes. Gradually, work your tongue into a rhythm with a short, firm lick. Continue the beat for a while: this should get him pretty aroused. If you decide you want to go a step further, begin darting your tongue in as you lick, graduating to whats called "tongue-fucking." Moan your appreciation and see how he responds—moaning vibrates your tongue and simulates a vibrator. When you want him to explode, slide a lubed hand onto his cock and jack him off while you lick—theres no sensation in the world like it.

A man with lower back pain or mobility issues can simulate the doggie position by lying on his stomach with pillows under his hips, comfortably raising his butt for optimal licking. Having him lie stomach-up with pillows under his butt is also an option, though you have to spread his legs quite wide for access. In this position, placing pillows under his knees can help ease strain on his back. Lying sideways may be comfortable, too; hell want to put a pillow between his legs for the lower back, and the pillow will also serve to keep his legs slightly spread—though he may eventually end up on his stomach as you pull his cheeks apart.

Cleanliness is often the number one concern for would-be rimmers and rim-ees alike. Taking a nice long shower or bath beforehand is always recommended, and you can bathe together to make it part of the seduction. If your partner is reluctant because of cleanliness issues, begin rimming in the shower, where youll both make everything squeaky-clean. Men who are comfortable with enemas can have one before showering and know theyre clean from the inside out.

Flavored lubricants are an option for people who want to try rimming but shudder at the notion of tasting their lovers natural flavors, though they come with several caveats. Flavored lubes taste awful, even the lime, kiwi, or piña colada versions. Because theyre packed with sugar, they are not an option for diabetics or other people who dont tolerate the effects of sugar well. But they do their job to some extent, transforming the eager anus into an artificial-raspberry-smelling orifice. Just be sure to never, ever purchase lubes that advertise "anal ease." Most lubes sold specifically for anal use contain large amounts of numbing agents, such as benzocane, which diminish sensation and will leave you with a numb tongue. Theyre manufactured by an industry that believes anal penetration of any kind is painful—when in reality, anal penetration isnt painful if you do it right. If it hurts, then somethings wrong, and you dont want to mask important signals the body might be trying to send. Besides, who wants a numb butt?

Though rimming is certainly enjoyable, it isnt a very safe activity. Unprotected, it can transmit hepatitis A, anal herpes, anal warts, and possibly viruses such as HIV. Always use a barrier for rimming—but if you insist on barrier-free rimming, get a hepatitis A shot. If one of you has a viral STD, such as herpes, HPV, hepatitis C, or HIV, safer-sex practices are necessary—required—to prevent transmission, especially if you have a cut or bite in your mouth. Risk is greatly increased for both partners if you have recently brushed or flossed your teeth; both activities cause tiny cuts and bleeding in your mouth. For information on barriers for rimming and details on safer-sex practices , see chapter 4, "Know the Hard Facts: Health Considerations."

His Erotic Pressure Points

Touching your partner in specific areas while youre going down on him releases blocked sexual tension, increases his excitement and blood flow to the genital area, and can make orgasm much more powerful than usual. Several centuries ago, Chinese doctors concluded that certain points in the body held muscular tension that could accumulate and block the normal flow of circulation of energy. These acupuncture or acupressure points corresponded physically to medical ailments, and the doctors discovered that releasing tension through pressure on the blocked areas was medically therapeutic. They also discovered a range of erotic techniques.

Pressing acupressure points acts like a concentrated massage, releasing muscular tension and toxins held in the muscle, allowing blood and sensation to flow freely to the area. Increased circulation means increased feeling and responsiveness, which adds new dimensions of pleasure to fellatio.

You can activate pressure points by touching them in various ways—kissing, licking, caressing, sucking, kneading, and massaging—but the most effective way to employ them is to hold the point (or points) firmly with the pads of your fingers. Some points are more sensitive than others; you should avoid pressing directly on the high ridges of bones. Your nails should be short, and you should apply a gradual, slow, and direct pressure. If the skin is pulling, lift up and reapply pressure directly to the point, as if you were pressing straight in. Hold each point for no more than five minutes at a time, and encourage him to breathe deeply as you press. Incorporate them at any stage during oral sex.

Illustration #11. Increasing Circulation

Illustration 12. Increasing Sexual Energy and Awareness

Increasing Sexual Energy and Awareness

Three points are located on the mons at the top edge of the pubic bone, in the center. Pressing them produces a warm, pleasant sensation and focuses energy and awareness on the entire genital system. This is great for helping him concentrate on arousal.

Enhancing Orgasm

You can apply pressure directly on the perineum to make orgasms more intense. This increases blood flow to the genital area and is beneficial to all reproductive and pleasure organs.

Heightening Sensitivity

On the inside of the upper thigh, right at the crease where the thigh meets the body in front, are six points that heighten pleasurable sensitivity and awareness. They amplify any genital pleasure you are providing.

Increasing Pleasure

These additional points on the base of the spine increase pleasure during oral sex and can be added to your erotic pressure point repertoire.

In general, applying pressure to his perineum or genital area with the flat of your hand or flattened fingertips feels great, because youre stimulating the entire system. You can also rub the mons while you suck, massage it in a circular motion, press it, or gently pull on it. Using genital massage techniques to begin or end a sexual activity, or to transition to another one, can turn a session of sex into a decadent encounter—use your imagination and these points as your guide.

Cough Drops and Ice Cubes

The sensations of heat and cold are remarkable in oral sex. Imagine a hot, wet mouth enveloping your genitals, licking and squeezing and radiating heat. Or a cool mouth caressing and rubbing you when youre so hot youre already at the melting point. Thats the idea—using heat and coolness to prolong and increase arousal, or to turn up temperatures that are already in the triple digits.

You can bring temperature play into fellatio at any point when you want to tease or turn up the volume, though its more effective in the earlier stages of sucking, before you get an orgasm-inducing rhythm going. There are two ways to go about it: applying the sensation to him directly, or changing the temperature of your mouth.

Direct Application

> > • Have a warm or cool washrag prepared in a bowl of warm or iced water at the bedside: pause your licking for a moment and apply the washrag, then continue. Make sure that a hot washrag isnt too hot, or it will burn—discreetly test it on the thin skin of your wrist first. If youre using an ice water compress, your tongue will feel hot and delicious on his cool cock.

> > • Set a bowl of ice cubes next to you, select one, and draw on his nipples, his stomach, and all over the area around his cock and balls.

> > • In warm water, have a number of items heated and ready: dildos, waterproof vibrators, washcloths. You can also pull a teabag out of a not-too-hot cup of tea and massage his cock or balls with it.

> > • In sex toy stores you can purchase lubricants that elicit hot or cool sensations and get more intense when you blow on them. These can be fun to play with, but they may not taste very good. Read more about them in chapter 4, "Know the Hard Facts: Health Considerations."

Changing the Temperature of Your Mouth

> > • From that bowl or cup of ice, put a cube in your mouth to cool down your tongue and lips.

> > • An iced or hot drink will change the temperature of your mouth perfectly—youll know if its too hot or cool because it will be uncomfortable for you, too. Pause while licking and take a mouthful of the beverage; swish and swirl it around your mouth for a minute, then swallow. Continue licking until you feel the temperature change, then repeat as necessary.

Cool and Tingling Sensations

When you pop a breath mint or a cough drop in your mouth, sometimes it feels like your entire oral cavity has the Arctic wind whistling through it—and thats not always an unpleasant feeling. Now, imagine that feeling on aroused genitalia, the coolness mixing with the arousing, enveloping wetness of your mouth. The feeling isnt for everyone—it can get pretty intense and feel too much like heat—but once some guys try it they like it a lot, so its worth experimenting with to see if you can add it to your fellatio pleasure kit.

Menthol and mint cough drops and breath mints are amazing sex toys available next to practically every checkout counter in America. Try to find lozenges with both menthol and mint; theyre the strongest. During oral play, put one (or two) in your mouth and swish it around to activate it and soften the corners—a sharp corner scraping his penis or the inside of your mouth would have you both thinking twice about trying it again. When youre good and mentholated, slip the lozenge between your cheek and gums. Putting it under your tongue will make it pop out, and trying to rest it on the back of your tongue while you lick could make you choke on it, so dont do either of those. The mentholated environment of your mouth will transfer the effects to his penis after just a minute, and you can also take the lozenge in your fingers and rub him with it, though you should avoid the urethral opening. You can also use mint and menthol on nipples, testicles, or the outside of the anus. Never insert anything into the anus that goes all the way in and disappears—even if you think it will dissolve. Add to the icy sensations by blowing softly on his penis and testicles.

The Flavored Penis

Chocolate or vanilla, darling? There are a lot of flavored lubes on the market that promise to turn any oral encounter into piña colada licks, tangerine sucks, or swallows of raspberry, cherry, or hazelnut. Flavored lubricants are readily available at any adult toy or novelty store, but the choice to use these sugary toppings is yours. They generally dont taste very good; imagine the flavor of lube mixed with artificial flavoring and sweetener. The pictures on the labels look much better than the products taste—and you may want to ask yourself what you do (or dont) want to be tasting, anyway. If the notion of oral sex is not appealing, then covering your lovers genitals with green kiwi goo isnt going to make the act feel any less distasteful. But if you just want to make the usual a little more unusual, or want to step out a little with a bit of playful accesorizing, then look before you shop and think about what you want to accomplish.

Edibles come in two categories: lubricants that are water-based and edible gels, liquids, or sprays that may contain oils. The distinction is important, because anything that contains oil will ruin latex. No matter how completely you think you are licking it off, even the smallest amount of oil can cause a condom, dental dam, or glove to break. Oils of any kind are difficult to flush out of the vagina, so if you think you might use whatever you flavored for penetration later, skip the oily stuff—that goes for whipped cream and chocolate, too.

Speaking of things going into vaginas, youll want to think twice about whats in the flavored lube you use if vaginal penetration is on the menu. Oils are certainly on the list of things to avoid, but if youve got any sensitivities to yeast infections or your vaginal flora and fauna irritate easily, consider skipping the toppings altogether. The sugars and artificial colors/flavorings in edible lubes—and in other regular food items you might be inclined to use in oral play—can wreak havoc on the delicate balance of your vaginal ecosystem. If you want to use flavored lubes, honey, whipped cream, chocolate, or anything else that contains sugar, then save the penetration until after you scrub your sweetie clean in the shower.

Not to say that licking something yummy off of your lover isnt fun—it is. It can be a treat to have a little something extra to lick, something that makes your strokes longer and more focused. And adding blindfolds or restraints can really get things heated up. Imagine your pleasure victim all tied up, watching you pull out a strange container, and then you proceed to slather, and lick, and lick…The water-based brand ID Juicy Lube has by far the cleanest ingredient list, no artificial coloring, and the largest selection of flavors; I recommend sticking with their line of fruit flavors, though I admit Bubblegum Blast is pretty fun. Hot Licks is a super-sugary tasting line of water-based flavored gels that heat up when you breathe on them (though the heating-up sensation isnt for everyone), and they come in flavors like strawberry and cinnamon. Kama Sutra makes a whole range of products made for licking off excited body parts, and their Oil of Love also heats up; but keep in mind that many of their products contain trace amounts of oil.