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To be a human coffee table may satisfy a need to suffer in the name of submission, or may be an excuse to do nothing but enjoy the presence of your top and his guests. Again, much of the reward comes from the extreme passivity of the role.

Bondage sculptures, using hundreds of strings attached to permanent or play piercings, are a popular human art form. You get the stimulation of lots of needles, and can hold still and do nothing while one or more piercers fusses all over you. A major piercing sculpture could involve several bottoms: we recall an especially delightful

"string quartet/' Do be careful to choose a position that you can maintain for several hours without needing a chiropractor to recover.

Dossie recalls a mannequin scene in which the bottom was required to stand in very high heels with a book balanced on her head while two tops tried to distract her. This forced her to stay very centered and perfectly in line with gravity while absorbing a lot of stimulation, with no permission to respond to it in any way. Miss High Heels got very high indeed!

Tops might want to recognize that holding still for long periods of time is very difficult and often painful. In some scenes, this might be appropriate material for additional cruelty; in others, the bottom might perform better with praise and appreciation for his or her hard work, and occasional opportunities to stretch.

**Rough and Tough**

this is the section where we talk about the scenes that involve struggle, resistance, and the outward appearance of nonconsent - some of the most challenging, and the hottest, play in our communities' repertoire. This kind of play gives us the chance to exert ourselves and to be overcome — to fight our hardest, see our tops at their most powerful, and finally knuckle under to what we really wanted all along.

Resistance Scenes: Captivity, Kidnap, Rape, Interrogation. If you enjoy playing as a strong, powerful, resistant bottom who has been overcome by force, these are the scenes for you. Since many of our fantasies are nonconsensual, the outward appearance of nonconsensuality can make these scenes incredibly hot - and the closer to the edge of nonconsensuality you get, the hotter the scene can be. But playing close to the edge of nonconsensuality can also raise the emotional and physical risks for both partners; therefore, special negotiations and agreements are in order.

Resistance play is big fun in that it relieves you of your sense of responsibility: "Help! Someone save me... just not right now, OK?" The struggle, both emotional and physical, can also be very cathartic: Janet once spent a delightful hour or two getting tortured and raped, with her hands tied to the headboard, her feet tied behind her top's back, and a gag in her mouth, and felt relaxed and sexy for days afterward.

There are some practical concerns that must be dealt with in resistance play. It's actually not all that easy, and sometimes nearly impossible, to subdue a bottom who is resisting with all his might. So if you intend to lose the wrestling match, you need to figure out how: some people just cut their strength; others use a handicap, like tying one limb down first, so they can struggle all they want and still be certain not to escape. Struggling needs to be discussed beforehand with your top — tops have limits too, and may need some way to reassure themselves that you really want to while you pretend you don't.

We have also found that sometimes the adrenaline rush that accompanies struggle may be incompatible with sensual openness, so some form of transition may need to be written into the script. One top of our acquaintance liked to wrestle wildly until the bottom was securely bound, then quiet her down with a massage before proceeding further.

A resistance scene gone wrong can bear heavy consequences: genuine anger that can interrupt friendships or even, in a worst-case scenario, precipitate violence. Resistance scenes played out in public also run the risk of rescue attempts by well-meaning outsiders.

Some of the emotions that can come up for the bottom in a resistance scene are real-world fear, anger and panic.

Depending on what you've negotiated, you can either stop the scene when one of these emotions comes up for you, or go on playing and see what lies beyond the strong emotion. Janet once went through a period where her real-world anger stopped several scenes in a row... she and her top finally decided to play through it, and what turned out to lie beyond the anger was floods of cathartic tears.

If you're going to play through your anger or fear, you should be prepared to experience a strong and sometimes disturbing catharsis that may take hours, days or even weeks to process fully It's not a good idea to surprise your top with such strong emotions; if you suspect that a scene might trigger old issues or cause real-world emotion, it is essential to have your tops informed consent to what might happen, and to be sure that your top is willing to be supportive of you throughout this entire spectrum of experience.

For example, both of your authors had some strongly negative childhood experiences with having our faces slapped, so face-slapping is a serious emotional trigger for both of us, that we will allow our tops to do only if they are willing and able to work through deep emotional stuff with us. Janet tells tops that she trusts a lot, "If you slap my face, I can't predict how I'll react — but if I come unglued, you're going to have to help put me back together again."

If you are not sure that you and your top are both ready for this kind of emotional fallout, tell him or her, or use your safeword, when real-world emotions come up.

Playing through strong emotion is an enormous, emotionally risky commitment for top and bottom alike. If you find a top who trusts you enough, and who you trust enough, to explore this area, recognize and appreciate the gift she is giving you. Similarly, a bottom who opens up and shares such difficult and profound emotion offers a great gift to his top. We all do well when we honor the courage and love it takes to play on the edge.

Dossie's Promises for Resistance Play. In order to play safely with resistance, Dossie has developed three promises that she gives her top during negotiations for these scenes. They are: This is not where I'm going to process disagreements with you. If I feel angry with your real-world persona, we will discuss that outside scene space.

I will resist only when I am turned on, so any time I fight back you know the scene is working.

If I get mouthy, resistant or angry, I promise you that will always be an invitation to aggress. Feel free. Be bad.

These rules, or similar ones, are an important safeguard to your own and your top's emotional well-being during resistance play

**Humiliation and Verbal Abuse**

A good scene may create more than one set of reddened cheeks! The "sweet shame" of humiliation is a potent addition to many playstyles, and some bottoms find that humiliation is where the juice is for them.

The tricky question is: what do you find humiliating? Crossdressing, for example, is a source of pride to one bottom, a window to an alternate persona for another, and an acute humiliation to a third. Some bottoms find the act of kneeling to their top, or of speaking the word "Master" or "Mistress," to be profoundly humiliating, while others grovel and abase themselves without a second thought.

Consider the difference between the foot fetishist, to whom kissing a well-shaped foot is a keen delight and privilege, and the "captive" who finds it an agony of indignity and unwilling submission. You can see, then, that

almost any scene in this book can be played as a humiliation scene - if you find it humiliating.

Some players like to further season the stew of humiliation with verbal abuse (a term, by the way, which we don't like much — we wish there were another word than "abuse" for a consensual scene). Verbal abuse involves the top calling the bottom nasty names, or scoffing at him, or belittling his performance in some way.

If you play with verbal abuse, you'll probably find that some words and phrases are so easy to tolerate that they hardly qualify as abuse: we both find it very entertaining when a top says during a scene, "You enjoy this, don't you, girl?" — obviously, we do. And, since we wrote "The Ethical Slut," we think being called "slut" is a big compliment. Other words may be humiliating in what feels like a good way creating a pleasantly erotic sense of shame and outrage.

If a particular type of verbal abuse - for example, disparagement of your physical appearance, intelligence, earning capacity or whatever — creates serious real-world anger or loss of self-esteem for you, it's probably better to tell your top ahead of time, and perhaps to avoid that type altogether. These limits may come up unexpectedly, and may not be altogether rational - we know one bottom who adores being called "slut," "cunt"

and similar names, but lost it with real-world rage when her top called her a "bootlicker."

Conversely, if what really turns you on is being called "scrawny," "fat," "stupid" or whatever your pet word is, you're entitled to get that, although it may be tough finding a top who's comfortable giving it to you - keep trying.

Remember, a good humiliation scene takes cooperation — your top can only humiliate you with your help!

Playing With Cultural Trauma. A kind or play that is particularly controversial for many individuals and groups within the BDSM communities is play that involves enacting some of the horrors of our cultural past. Although humanity has a shocking history of torture and genocide to choose from, the scenes that are likeliest to cause problems are those from the more recent past — most often those that involve the Holocaust and Nazis, and those that invoke the racially based slavery of the American eighteenth and nineteenth centuries. Older incidents such as the Spanish Inquisition seem to push fewer buttons because they're buried er in our cultural memory. We know bottoms who belong to recently oppressed minority groups and who have found tremendous healing and excitement in building scenes around that historical oppression. One African-American friend says, "Playing a consensual scene in which my top called me 'nigger' made me much better able to handle hearing it in the real world. Before, when I heard the word, I'd become irrationally, reflexively furious. Last week a panhandler called me that and I laughed in his face — now there's a smart way to ask for money, bozo!'"

Obviously, these scenes can carry a deep and serious emotional charge for both bottom and top. Tops may have trouble with invoking the spirit of bigotry even when they know themselves to be loving and egalitarian people: we know lots more people of color interested in playing slave than we do white folks who are comfortable being Simon Legree. Bottoms may find unexpected wellsprings of anger or internalized oppression. We suggest extreme care in negotiating and enacting such scenes, similar to the precautions we've suggested for playing around a history of personal trauma such as rape and abuse.

Additionally, ir these scenes are enacted at a play party or other gathering, onlookers may be shocked, scandalized or infuriated. These issues have been hotly debated. Check with party hosts about scenes involving racism, sexism or Nazis: remember that if you enter a party wearing swastikas you may be stimulating people who haven't chosen to play with you. When you shout words like "nigger," "dumb cunt," or "filthy Jew," the people around you can't close their ears. While we believe partygoers must be responsible for their own reactions, it's courteous to let people know ahead of time the nature of the scene you're about to do so that they can choose whether or not they want to watch or move into another room.

And when you and your top can work together to reclaim parts of yourself that have been wounded by humanity's sad history, what a great and worthwhile gift that is - a perfect example of how the darkest corners of BDSM can bring the greatest illumination.

**Some Notes on Public Play**

If you see a large crowd of people gathered around a scene at a play party, you may find Dossie or Janet at the center of it. We're both avid exhibitionists and love public play (by which we mean play in front of a consenting group of kink-friendly people — not playing out there in the real world, which can nonconsensually involve bystanders).

We recognize that play parties don't work for many of our readers. Some feel that they cannot come that far out of the closet (although confidentiality is a paramount rule of any responsible play party), some are too shy, and some simply live in areas where there are no play parties, poor dears. Nonetheless, we feel that play parties are a vital part of the growth of the scene in general, and a great way to grow as a player.

Play parties give you a chance to observe the play of someone you are considering bottoming to, and offer a very safe place to play with a new top for the first time. Couples in exclusive relationships also often attend play parties, not to play with others, but for the many rewards of seeing and being seen.

Parties give you a great opportunity to be a responsible voyeur. By "responsible" we mean someone who is sensitive to the boundaries of the players, who doesn't interfere with scene space or attempt to join scenes without permission, and who respects confidentiality. Voyeurism gives you a chance to learn new playstyles and techniques. It's also wonderfully validating to see happy, proud, confident people publicly doing whatever it is you're scared to do because it's "too sick."

So what, you ask, is a play party? Its basically an environment in which people do BDSM scenes within the sight and hearing of other players — from half a dozen to hundreds or, in the case of some of the huge national leather conferences, even thousands. Playing in an environment where you're surrounded with the screams and moans of other bottoms can multiply your own excitement tremendously.

Most play parties take place in a home or industrial space that has been to some degree converted for kinky play.

Typically, you walk in the front door — sometimes paying a small fee to cover rent and edibles - and into a socializing space. In this space, people eat, talk and negotiate. In another area you will find one or more play spaces, often dungeonlike rooms filled with thrillingly mysterious equipment: slings, bondage tables, St.

Andrew's crosses - a large X-shaped cross for bondage - spanking horses and so on. Walls and ceilings are equipped with eyebolts to attach you to. Often, the dungeon has some space in which polite voyeurs may sit or stand quietly to watch the play.

Most play parties these days enlist experienced volunteers as "dungeon monitors," or "DMs." Dungeon monitors, often identified by an armband or special t-shirt, observe the play and intervene if necessary to preserve the parry rules and safe boundaries. Anytime you have a problem at a party, the DM is there to help you. If you have concerns about the safety of a scene you're watching, you talk to the DM, who is familiar with party standards and is usually the only person authorized to interrupt a scene. DMs are also happy to show you how to use the equipment, to answer any questions, and to bring you safer sex supplies, water, and such items if you're all tied up and can't quite reach them.

To make yourself welcome at play parties, respect the house rules. They may vary widely from one party to the next — read the rules sheet, or ask a dungeon monitor or other authority figure if you're not sure. Do not attempt to join a scene in progress unless you have been specifically invited, and do not interrupt a scene to ask if you can join: this will disrupt the very play you were admiring. Be polite when asking to play with someone and friendly if they decline, and be ultra-respectful of people's boundaries. It's an act of courage to take off your armor in public, and people who are doing so need and deserve your courtesy and sensitivity.

Intoxication of any kind is a serious breach of party etiquette. Janet once attended an unfortunate party where a first-time attendee, obviously stoned, took one look at a beautiful submissive who was awaiting her master in a classic slave pose and started to giggle. That first-timer was never invited back.

Many parties have a "party safeword" - often, here in San Francisco, the word "SAFEWORD" itself - which is a

"Mayday" signal that can be called by a top or a bottom who needs outside help in a scene: for example, a top whose bottom has fainted and who needs help taking care of him, or a bottom who feels his top may be out of control and not respecting his regular safeword. If you hear someone shout the parry safeword, be prepared to help.

One of the most radical acts of the sexual revolution is the de-privatization of sex. Party play helps us unlearn our modesty, our shame, our inhibition. It provides a "reality check" as to what it is that BDSM people "really"

do. And, last bur certainly not least, its a great source for hot new fantasies!

**S/M and Spirituality**

Sexuality has always been our path, even before S/M became available to us. Starting with the task of reclaiming our sexuality from the Puritans, sex has been the path on which we explored psychological growth and healing, feminist empowerment, self-knowledge, and spiritual communion.

In the BDSM communities, spiritual practice has always been common, if not always talked about. A number of the early S/M support groups were established as churches with very serious religious intent. In recent years, ceremony and practice involving S/M and body modification have become more widespread and better known, and many support groups and circles, even businesses, have sprung up to fill the needs of ritual players and modern primitives. It will be impossible to let you know everything about this complex and wonderful subject in one chapter, but we will do the best we can.

**Sex Is Spiritual**

Every orgasm is a spiritual experience. Think of a moment of perfect wholeness, of yourself in perfect unity, of expanded awareness that transcends the split between mind and body and integrates all the parts of you in ecstatic consciousness. Sound familiar?

Western tradition is to think of sex and spirituality as being in opposition, as if enjoying sex could somehow take you further from spirit. This superstition may already have caused you a lot of grief Divine consciousness, the tao, all the deities that have ever inspired anybody, and sexuality, flow through all of us all the time. Just as there is no time when you are separate from your sexuality, and no time when your sexuality is not part of you, there is no time when you are separate from the divine. When you bring spiritual awareness to your sexual practice, you can become directly conscious of - connected to - that diviniry that always flows through you, even when you are not paying attention. So for us, sex is already an opportunity to see god.

Far out, huh? Please remember that we are not talking about the extra-special experience of somebody who spent twenty years in a cave in the Himalayas. We are talking about your orgasm, your play, your integrity with your spirit, your moment of ecstasy. Whether you want to think about it in this way is your choice.

Many of us are choosing to pursue our spirituality and our sexuality together through S/M and related practices.

Following is some information gathered from our own experiences and the experiences of those who consciously explore spiritual BDSM play.

**Sacred Space**

A lot of what we do in S/M qualifies as ritual in and of itself: games we play, roles we enact, fetish objects, acts of symbolic significance, and the whole theater of psychodrama have all the elements of a mystery play. The unbounded space we enter when we play is mythological: a land of archetypes, of mystery, of symbolic enactments, where we use the path of ritual theater to pull up tremendous physical and emotional intensity. This altered state of consciousness that we can enter into is known by many names: dreamtime, inner space, higher

power, the place between the worlds.

These rituals and ceremonies are all ways of opening awareness and expanding consciousness. When we open ourselves up in this way, we let go of some of our usual boundaries, and our normal defenses, so we need to take care to protect ourselves when we are in this vulnerable state.

To this purpose players normally establish sacred space, a ritual environment, a circle. When we form the circle, we cast out negativity, temporarily send away difficult stuff and create a special place of caring and high consciousness, where the physical world is taken care of in advance so that we are free to focus on spiritual experience.

You can get the idea from the text of one of our favorite circle incantations: Everything to die North of here is sacred

Everything to me South of here is sacred

Everything to the East of here is sacred

Everything to the West of here is sacred

Everything above here is sacred

Everything below here is sacred

Everything here is sacred

People who circle together often feel a special bond, since when our boundaries are down, more open, or more permeable, we feel closer to one another. Doing group sex in sacred space can feel very warm and intimate, as the circle brings people together in safety and harmony to celebrate their sexuality with the highest of awareness.

In group ritual, you get to focus the energy of all the people present, which amplifies the power.

Doing a rite in the presence of others can give you more commitment - partly from their support, and partly because it would be more embarrassing to quit in the middle, so you may push yourself a little harder, and maybe get further. Sometimes it is necessary to quit in the middle no matter how embarrassing it is: safewording out of a ritual is an act of tremendous honesty, and deserves respect.

**Kundalini And The Chakras**

S/M ritual requires considerable knowledge and experience to perform successfully and safely. Training often starts with learning how to go into trance states by means less drastic than the physical pain of opening the skin.

You can learn to attain trance states through many different practices, including self-hypnosis and meditation.

We especially recommend yoga for its powers of physical conditioning, relaxation and mental clarity —

important skills for any bottom (and anybody else).

Hindu teachers see our spirit in the form of centers of energy going up the spine, with spiritual force, kundalini, envisioned as a snake made of pure energy that can crawl up our spine. Imagine your backbone as beads strung on a serpent. To get a feel for kundalini, try the following grounding exercise: Sit tailor fashion, or lotus if you can, or any comfortable position with your back straight.

Imagine that your vertebrae are blocks, and you can line them up one atop another like a block tower, so perfectly that your body could stay erect without any effort at all from your muscles, with your head balanced on top like a ball on a seal's nose. Relax. Breathe. Let your bones support you.

Imagine a string going down through the centers of your vertebrae, down into the ground, through the layers of soil, through the rocks, down into the magma, all the way to the center of the earth where it's hot.

Imagine the heat at the earth's core coming up your string, and up your tower of blocks. Imagine that you can send anything you have extra, anything you don't want, down into the earth to melt in the magma.

Imagine that you can pull the earth's energy up your string, through your body, and out the top of your head all the way to the stars. Enjoy this for a while.

When you are through imagining, pull your string down from the stars with a thank you to the cosmos. Send down into the earth any energy you don't need, pull your string back up into yourself, and thank the earth.

As you pulled the heat up your spine, you may have noticed certain places where there is particularly strong feeling. The Hindus call these centers of energy the chakras.

To find your chakras, start at the bottom where your string comes into your body from the earth. This is the root chakra, the ground of being.

The second chakra is the sexual chakra, located where you feel it, in your genital area.

Third is the chi, center of gravity of the body, located near your navel. Martial artists find their strength and centeredness in this place.

Fourth is the heart chakra, located by your heart - this is where we love and cry and feel other strong emotions.

Fifth is the throat chakra, where you speak — it governs communication, the feeling of peace, and the love of truth.

Sixth is the third eye, located between your eyebrows -here rhere be visions, colors, pictures - and intellectual concepts.

Seventh is the crown chakra at or slightly above the top of your head, where your string goes out and all the way up to the cosmos, and may return in the form of sweet rain all over your body.

When you touch these places on yourself or another person, there may be special feelings of connection, grounding, emotion, serenity or ecstasy. We like to hold the tops of people's heads when we feel they need containment, and touch their heart for strength and safety in the presence of strong emotion. No chakra is higher than another chakra - all of them are essential. It's like an electrical circuit: you gotta connect all the poles, or the kundalini doesn't flow.

**Conscious Ritual, Here and Elsewhere**

Mystics throughout history have used physical and sexual stress to raise endorphins and engender a visionary experience. Dossie says, "I used to think that these people were so spiritually advanced that they could endure all this pain as proof of their detachment from the material. Now I know that they seek out the pain in order to achieve the transcendent state/' The pain brings them to ecstasy, an endorphin rush directed to a spiritual purpose.

Many ancient practices have been adapted by S/M spiritualists for use in our rituals here and now. We learn from sadhus in India who modify their bodies and genitals by constriction, piercing and stretching as a lifelong practice. At a festival in Kuala Lumpur people have their skin, cheeks and tongues pierced with needles, hooks and spears; they dance to a shrine as a sacrifice to the gods, for the granting of a wish or in thanks for a particular blessing. Pacific Island traditions include scarification, genital piercings, tattooing of much of the body. The Maoris tattoo patterns all over their faces that signify communion with their ancestors. Native American traditions include the Sun Dance, where participants attach a rope to a tree and to a chest piercing, and lean on the rope until the piercing breaks through, a meditation that may take several hours. Flagellation is still practiced by Roman Catholics in the Philippines.

All these practices are done in trance states, and it is often noted that there is little bleeding and that wounds close up taster than one would expect and heal with magical speed.

Current Practices. Modern primitives here in the U.S. may choose to build a ritual around a piercing, or have cuttings or tattoos with symbolic themes as a rite of passage to mark a transition in their lives. Sexual piercings are reputed to increase the sensitivity (awareness) at the site of the piercing, and rings are placed so as to remind you of parts of your body you may have been taught to ignore, a step toward more complete consciousness.

Rhythm can also carry you upwards, and drumming, chanting and trance dancing are often included in S/M

rituals. Dossie is particularly fond of being drummed on: "As the drumming becomes more intense, and the pain more difficult to deal with, I find my my whole body gets pushed into the rhythm, my consciousness gets pushed into the rhythm, and I get pushed over the edge in a communion with the drummer that sends us both flying."

Various types of suspension, stretching and hanging can be the stretch that expands consciousness - this is the secret meaning of the "Hanged Man" of the Tarot, and the reason he looks so happy. Hanging in rope bondage with the body fully off the ground is not only an amazing bondage experience, but can also be a very trancey trip. The ultimate in suspension is when people suspend their entire body weight on a large number of piercings (carefully designed to distribute the weight and allow for a comfortable trip and a safe return).

The ball dance is a piercing ritual adapted from the sadhus in which balls, bells, lemons or other objects are tied to the skin by putting sterile filaments in shallow piercings, most commonly on the chest, back and arms. People come together in groups with trained piercers, preferably in a meadow somewhere on a mountain. Dossie, who has participated in many ball dances, explains:

You establish trance first in whatever way works best for you, then let the piercings entrance you further. The circle is made, the drums start up, and you dance with the balls on. At first, you may move with caution as you test the sensation of swinging a weight that is attached inside of you. Then it becomes intriguing to play with the risk, and let the sensation carry you out a little further. After a while, the dance takes over and you might jump up and down or swing wildly, deliberately maximizing the pull of the balls on your skin. The body goes way out into ecstasy, and where the mind goes defies description.

**Communion, Transcendence and Transformation**

We very strongly recommend that you not try any of this until you join a community where you can find knowledgeable people to learn from. This is advanced activity, and its not for everyone. It requires a lot of commitment and hard work, as well as great care for safety and health, to pull off successfully.

When you do body ritual, it is imperative to have a goal in mind — these practices are too powerful to just use them to get high without any sense of purpose or direction. Goals might be to celebrate a transition, to give thanks, to look for healing, to connect with gods, ancestors or spirit guides, or to seek a vision. Goals are as varied as the people who do ritual. A good goal is to seek communion with the divine.

States of trance and ecstasy are experiential. They are what you feel. They have no causes, and are not about figuring anything out — there are no whys and wherefores. This is a holistic experience, so you are best advised to shut up and listen, or as we used to bless each other in the sixties: "May the Baby Jesus shut your mouth and open your mind." As in all forms of BDSM, when you believe enough in the game you are playing, it becomes true: this is the power of manifesting.

In the state of transcendence we have a heightened awareness, which makes this a good time to let in new truths.

This is a time of suspense — remember the Hanged Man? — a time to let go of our self-consciousness, to leave our selves, propelled by divine mercilessness.

This experience of Dossies helps illustrate the dark energy of S/M spirituality: A while ago I was having a lot of difficulty with some painful losses in my life, and had gotten stuck blaming myself for my losses, and blaming myself for feeling bad when I was terribly sad and angry - I was in sorry shape. I contacted a friend of mine, another heavy bottom, and asked if she would be willing to channel some of

my disturbed energy in the form of a caning that I would perform on her. I promised to own my energy, and take it back when we were through, not to just dump it on her and leave her with it. She agreed. I began caning her, and after a warmup time the energy, and the caning, became really intense, and I definitely had the feeling that I was throwing out a lot of my rage and grief along with the cane, and that she was taking it in and riding it with great pleasure. I was using my rage as the scary part of the rollercoaster. Periodically, as we went along, and as the play became harder and faster, I would move up to her head and hold her while I checked in to make sure she was all right. After a particularly violent attack from me, when I checked in, she turned to me with a beatific smile and said, "I love your energy. I love your shadow." This was a revelation to me - that she could find a way to love what I most hated about myself - what a lesson. This bottom transformed her top.

We can do healing, change and growth with S/M and ritual. We believe old wounds can sometimes be healed by going through the wounds, as if there were parts of us that we can only access through those painful openings.

How can we do spirituality and healing with such dirty stuff? A lover of Dossies had a fine answer for that - "I know my fantasies have dirry roots." And how else would you grow roses?

**The New Bottoming Book**

**By: Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy**

**When You Fuck Me I Become Enormous**

By Dossie Easton

When you fuck me I become enormous.

A greatness grows inside of me,

around your hand I

Swell.

Resistance amplifies, friction heats.

Pushing pulls up power so I

Struggle, thrashing and yelling, straining

against you.

Restraining, you overpower me,

hold me down

hold me still so I feel

heat of cunt, pressure of blood,

swelling of delicate tissues stretched beyond reason.

Your face over mine, your eyes

dig in, your fist deep

You string me on a burning rope

from your hand in my cunt

all the way to your tongue

in my mouth

You open a channel through me that reaches

far beyond both of us.

Laughing now me gasping

Gigantic full of you while you

Grab my hair, take my head, drown me with your

tongue, sweet hot taste of tangled spit

You spread your fingers wide inside me, blow me up a huge balloon: Bellowing, I suck you in deeper.

You fuck a rougher rhythm.

I raise myself to reach you

still holding me down.

I reach my heart out below us and

Draw up fire from the center of the earth

where rock melts, you falling into me

Cavernous:

You pour through me red like vaporized stone

With your hand

I pull you through me

on the burning rope

and shoot you from the earth to the moon.

I can take you,

all of you,

and I can give you back.

(Previous version originally published in Bottoming Book.)