Input:
 Write an informative guide on first aid for BDSM scenes, addressing various possible injuries and emergencies that may occur during play and providing instructions on how to handle them.

Start by mentioning the inevitability of accidents and the importance of both playing safely and knowing basic first aid. Recommend supplementing this guide with a conventional first-aid manual and practicing emergency procedures beforehand.

Explain the importance of knowing if your submissive has any medical conditions or takes any medication that may affect bleeding or other risks. Provide first-aid instructions for common injuries like cuts and bruises, including the use of ice packs and sterilization.

Address the possibility of a submissive fainting due to various reasons and the need to remove any bondage before providing aid. Emphasize the seriousness of severe chest pains or difficulty breathing as possible signs of a heart attack.

Discuss the risks of stroke, including the window for administering a "clot buster" medication, and the need for immediate medical attention. Describe the signs of a convulsion and the importance of protecting the submissive's tongue with a soft object.

Explain the risks of head injuries, even if the submissive regains consciousness, and the importance of medical observation and follow-up. Highlight the dangers of trying to retrieve lost objects from the rectum without medical assistance.

Explain the symptoms and treatments for heat-related injuries, including heat cramps, exhaustion, and stroke, and the importance of staying hydrated and cool during intense scenes in hot weather.

Describe the types of burns and their treatments, including the use of cold water, sterile dressings, and burn ointments. Address muscle and bone injuries and the need for medical attention in severe cases.

Suggest a basic dungeon first-aid kit, and emphasize the importance of seeking medical attention when in doubt. Advise changing into vanilla clothing and taking notes to minimize embarrassment in medical emergencies.

Finally, provide reading recommendations for further information on dungeon emergencies and safety.

Response:
First Aid for The Scene

Just because we are playing does not mean that our submissive wont get hurt at one time or another. We are playing, but we often are playing rough. People get hurt riding bicycles, skating, jogging. My local newspaper carried an item about an elderly lady who, excited about winning at bingo, stood up too quickly, fell back over her chair and broke her collarbone.

This does not mean that we should accept any injuries as part of the game. After everything has returned to normal, it is incumbent upon both of you to sit down and try to prevent whatever happened from happening again. There is nothing contradictory between playing hot and playing safe.

This section is far from a complete first aid guide. I strongly recommend that you supplement it with a conventional first-aid manual. Read them before something happens. When someone is bleeding it is no time to try to assemble a medical education. Many dominants know more about taking care of their toys than their submissives. If I were licensing dominants, I would make a basic first-aid course including CPR one of the minimum requirements.

As the prices drop from four figures to three, Im becoming a big fan of automatic defibrillators. Defibrillators used to be usable only by highly skilled technicians, if they were to do more good than harm. This new generation has hardwired most of the skills needed right into the machine. Slap on the pads, press the button and the machine will decide whats needed and go ahead and do it while you wait for the EMTs, that youve already called, to arrive.

Make sure your submissive has read this section. While most injuries do happen to submissives, dominants have been known to fall, set themselves on fire during a waxing, or cut themselves with straight razors. I use the word "submissive" throughout for consistency, but dont assume you are somehow bullet-proof.

Both of you should also practice emergency procedures. When things go wrong, sometimes people panic and take refuge in the familiar. One woman vacuumed her carpet while waiting for the paramedics to arrive when her husband had a heart attack. Make the emergency procedures familiar and commonplace, and youll be much better off when all hell breaks loose.

Cuts and bruises

The most common injuries in the scene, as almost everywhere else, are cuts and bruises. Bruises are unsightly, except to those who wear them as badges of pride, but they generally will disappear after a while. You can speed up healing by putting ice packs on them for no more than a half hour. Hot water will only increase the size and discoloration, and because the skin is not broken, antiseptic or astringent solutions are useless.

You should already have asked if your submissive has a clotting disorder or takes any kind of anticoagulant drug like Coumadin. This will make him or her bruise much more easily.

The greatest danger from cuts is infection. Clean the area with warm water and a mild soap. Then sterilize it with Betadine or alcohol and have the submissive hold a bit of clean gauze against the cut until the bleeding stops. Hydrogen peroxide, recommended by some first-aid books, doesnt sterilize as well and, with repeated use, may actually retard healing. If you think you may have gotten any blood on you, wash carefully with soap and hot water. A Band-Aid can be used to keep the injury clean after the bleeding has stopped.

If, later, the cut gets red and swells, you see red-purple streaks under the skin or it is sensitive to a light touch, it is probably infected. Go to a doctor. Aside from simply being dangerous, an infection greatly increase the chances that a scar will form.

If the bleeding is severe or if it spurts, apply tight pressure with your hand or elastic bandage over the site of the bleeding and call 911. A person can die from a severed artery in seconds. Do not attempt to use a tourniquet unless you have been trained in how to apply one. A poorly applied tourniquet can cause much more damage than you realize.

Unconsciousness

Simply because of the excitement of the scene, because their air supply has been inadvertently cut off or because they have been standing in one place too long, submissives occasionally faint. Some people have the habit of holding their breath during orgasms which causes them to pass out. It is called orgasmic syncope. Diabetics may faint if violent activity causes their blood-sugar level to drop. As I noted in an earlier chapter, you should know your submissives medical history before you begin to play.

Immediately remove all bondage. If it wont come off fast, cut it off. This is where the EMT scissors or bolt cutters come in handy. The submissive should be on his or her back without anything under the head, with the legs elevated slightly. Smelling salts can be used, carefully ,to awaken the submissive. Do not attempt to do CPR unless the submissive has stopped breathing and you know how. CPR is a wonderful technique but its application is limited to very specific circumstances.

If the submissive remains unconscious for more than a couple of minutes, seek medical help. However, if the submissive recovers and seems all right, you should still keep him or her lying down for at least a half hour. If he or she is a diabetic, offer some food.

Severe chest pains spreading to the shoulder, neck or arm and/or a crushing feeling in the chest accompanying a shortness of breath might mean a heart attack. Call 911 immediately before you do anything else.

If it turns out your submissive was using drugs or alcohol, you have some soul-searching to do. First, why didnt you notice before this? Second, do you want to continue to play with a person who would do such a stupid thing? Obviously, many people will disagree with me, but my basic rule is that drugs and the scene do not mix.

Stroke

A stroke is caused by a leaking blood vessel in the brain. Among the causes is great excitement or agitation (you know, the things we try for in the dungeon). The symptoms include sudden numbness or weakness of the face, arm or leg, especially on one side of the body, sudden confusion, trouble speaking or understanding, sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes, sudden trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination and sudden, severe headache with no known cause.

This condition, more than most others, calls for an immediate 911 call and transportation to the nearest emergency room because the quicker treatment is begun the better the chances of recovery. For example, there is a medication called a "clot buster" that can work wonders in the event of a stroke. However, it must be administered within three hours of the initial attack.

Convulsions

A more frightening experience is if the submissive goes into a convulsion. Remove any bondage immediately, and place a loop of rope or a piece of soft leather in his or her mouth to protect the tongue. Do not use something hard like a whip handle or something vulnerable like your fingers. The first may cause damage to the teeth; the second will be damaged.

Any clothing around the neck and waist should be loosened, and you should place pillows, cushions or rolled blankets around the body. Unless you have reason to believe that these convulsions are not significant (or example, if you know the submissive is epileptic), call for medical assistance.

Head injuries

Head injuries can be time bombs. Television and detective fiction have made people casual about blows to the head. The truth is any blow to the head severe enough to cause unconsciousness is cause for a trip to the hospital. If the membrane covering the brain inside the skull is bruised, a dural hematoma can slowly form over a period of hours, eventually causing unconsciousness and, possibly, death.

At the very least, the injured party should be under observation for a full day following the injury and regular follow up for a few days after that.

Symptoms of serious injury include returning unconsciousness, nausea and or vomiting, swelling, severe headache, stumbling or knocking things over, and confusion. One check for the last is to ask three questions, called "Orientation times three:" "What is your name?" "Where are you?" "What is todays date?" Any errors indicate possible serious problems.

"Misplaced" toys

What do you do when you "lose something inside?" If it is in the vagina and it doesnt have any sharp edges or points, relax. There isnt any place for it to go. Like Marys lamb, it will soon be back. Losing something in the rectum is more of a problem. Do not try to get it out with an enema. You also shouldnt try to reach in and get it. I know one panicked individual who tried to use what looked like salad tongs. Dont do it!

Lubricate the anus and go sit on the toilet. Bring a good book – this one, maybe. Wait, dont force it. After all, your body wants to get rid of it as much as you do. If it doesnt come out in a few hours or if there is severe pain, go to an emergency room and next time dont use something that can slide all the way in.

Heat-related injuries

Certain kinds of mummification, bondage or vigorous scenes in hot weather can lead to heat cramps, heat exhaustion or heat stroke. Because the human body uses the head to get rid of almost half of the bodys heat, a hood by itself can lead to a dangerous increase in body temperature. While none of the injuries in this chapter are limited to submissives, heat-related conditions are a particular threat to dominants who do scenes in hot weather. We tend to pay so much attention to the submissive that we tend to neglect our own needs.

Heat cramps are painful muscle spasms caused by excessive sweating and the loss of salt. This can be treated simply by consuming food or liquid containing salt.

Heat exhaustion is indicated by nausea, faintness, dizziness, excessive sweating and weakness. The individuals skin is pale and clammy, and he or she has a weak pulse and may show signs of shock. The affected person should lie flat with the head down and take drinks of a cool, slightly salty liquids every few minutes. However, you should never offer food or drink to anyone unless he or she can speak and hold up his or her head.

Heat stroke is potentially lethal. Initial symptoms begin like those of heat exhaustion, but soon, the individual develops a fever of more than 104 degrees and may experience convulsions or become unconscious. Cool him or her immediately. Packing in ice or snow is not too extreme, but a more common treatment is wet towels or sheets and a fan. You should call 911. While waiting, check his or her temperature often to make sure you dont overdo the cooling. You want to reduce the temperature, not chill the victim.

Burns

Burns sometimes occur during waxings when a beeswax candle is used or if you are too busy watching where the wax is falling that you dont notice where the flame is going. Electricity can also cause burns.

Reddened skin is the sign of a first-degree burn. Immerse the area in cold water or cool with an ice pack and apply a used tea bag that has been allowed to cool. Aloe vera gel will moderate the pain. Commercial burn ointments are made for this kind of burn. Do not use petroleum jelly or butter.

If blisters form, it is a second-degree burn. Again, the initial treatment is cold water. Then, you must cover the blister with a sterile gauze pad. If the blisters fill with a clear fluid, leave them alone; do not open them. If the fluid is cloudy, they may be infected; this calls for a trip to the doctor.

Third-degree burns are very serious. The injury may, at first, resemble a second-degree burn but quickly progresses to a charred or whitish color, and the surface may be warm and dry. Interestingly enough, it may not be painful at first. This is not because the injury is not serious; it is because the pain nerves have been damaged. This kind of injury is beyond first aid. If you are not trained and equipped to handle this kind of burn, get the submissive to a doctor. Do not use cold water or burn ointment. You can, however, cover it with a sterile dressing.

Bone and muscle injuries

Occasionally, something goes wrong and a submissive takes a severe fall or crashes against something. In most cases, these accidents were caused by simple carelessness – to be precise, your carelessness. A common cause of falls is a littered play room, one with wires or ropes scattered about, or one with an ultra-shag carpet that acts as a trap for high heels.

In any case, if there is serious damage, such as broken bones or torn ligaments, you need immediate medical assistance. If you suspect a break, immobilize the limb by tying a rolled-up magazine or ruler to it with a bandage or scarf, and get the person to a doctor.

If the muscle is only strained, the treatment is exactly the opposite as with bruises. You should apply warmth. I tend to lean toward fluffy towels soaked in hot water, which should get the blood flowing again. Then you can wrap it with an Ace bandage and elevate it on a stool or a few pillows.

If a muscle has a minor tear, you will see a large bruise where you should apply an ice pack. Over-the-counter painkillers will help. If the pain continues, go to a doctor.

Dungeon first-aid kit

A good dungeon first-aid kit includes many of the same items as a good home first-aid kit — with two additions. If you do handcuff or chain bondage, it should contain a pair of bolt cutters and an extra set of keys.

I would recommend at a minimum:

  * 4x4 sterile dressings
  * Ace Bandages
  * Adhesive tape
  * Aloe vera gel
  * Anesthetic spray
  * Antibiotic ointment
  * Band-aids
  * Betadine and/or rubbing alcohol
  * Burn ointment
  * EMT scissors
  * Ice pack
  * KY Jelly
  * Sling bandage (triangular)
  * Smelling salts
  * Splint
  * Sterile cotton
  * Sterile bandage roll
  * Tweezers

A final note

Ive written several times, "go to a doctor" or "call 911." In the middle of a scene, you, and probably your submissive, are going to be reluctant to climb out of the closet this way. First, medical professionals have seen it before. One of my friends, a lovely dominant and a New York City EMT, was confronted by a man who admitted sticking a gerbil in his wife, where it had, "passed to its reward," and was now stuck. My friend, without looking up from her notepad, said, "Vagina or anus?" They have seen it all before. You probably wont even make the top 100.

Second, but more important, it is your responsibility to care for another individual. You have accepted responsibility for another. To allow, him or her to be put in danger simply because you are embarrassed is irresponsible. You have a duty in these cases to seek medical aid.

To minimize embarrassment, if there is time, change into vanilla clothing. Medical people do tend to give a bit more respect to those who look "normal." If there isnt, grab something out of the closet. If the ER is anything like most, you will have long enough to make a complete outfit from bolt fabric before they get around to you. You can easily change clothes in the rest room. Another thing to bring along is a note pad. Keep track of those who have talked with you. You may want to hand out condemnations or compliments later. In any case, the sight of someone politely taking notes does tend to make people behave.

You dont have to tell the complete story of the scene. If, for example, your submissive fell from a suspension frame and broke her leg, a simple, "she fell," should be sufficient. Male dominants are especially at risk in this area. In todays political-medical environment, if there is a suspicion of "abuse," the less on the chart the better. However, you should never withhold information that could be necessary to the treatment.

Suggested Reading

_Toybag Guide to Dungeon Emergencies and Supplies,_ Jay Wiseman, Greenery Press

_Sex Disasters…And How To Survive Them,_ Charles Moser, Ph.D., M.D., and Janet W. Hardy, Greenery Press


Input:
 Write a detailed outline for cleaning various BDSM toys, tools, and equipment after use to ensure proper hygiene and safety.

Start by discussing the importance of cleaning, disinfection, and sterilization for different materials and tools used in BDSM play, emphasizing the difference between disinfection and sterility.

Provide specific instructions for cleaning wax play tools such as vacuuming cooled wax on hard surfaces, using an iron and absorbent cloth for fabrics, and disposing of condoms, dental dams, and gloves.

Offer guidance for cleaning leather items like hoods and straps with commercial leather cleaner, oiling them regularly, and avoiding storage in plastic bags.

Explain the cleaning process for whips that may come into contact with blood, using hot soapy water, isopropyl alcohol, and lubrication. Recommend covering dildos, vibrators, and other insertable toys with condoms for easier cleaning.

Suggest using a mixture of bleach and water for cleaning dildos, douche nozzles, knives, and vibrators, and using a laboratory sanitizer for complex vibrator attachments.

Advise on washing ropes and nylon straps in a washing machine with a mesh bag to prevent tangles and knots.

Explain the need for special care when cleaning TENS accessories, such as using an autoclave or pressure cooker, or disinfectant sprays.

Finally, suggest simple disposal methods for single-use items like condoms and gloves by sealing them in a plastic bag with alcohol before throwing them away.

Write the outline in a clear, concise manner, with a focus on safety and hygiene.

Response:
**Appendix: Scrubbing Up Afterwards**

Cleaning up after a scene can present some interesting problems that are often not completely covered in Good Housekeeping books. While you may delegate the actual clean-up to your submissive, it is, after all, your property, and you will probably want to supervise, with or without a riding crop.

When speaking about cleaning, in most cases, the goal is disinfection rather than sterility. Disinfection is the removal or killing of pathogenic (sickness-causing) organisms. Sterility means there is no life. While sterility is the aim with toys like needles which break the skin, it is difficult to obtain and even more difficult to maintain. With most toys, our aim is purely not to transfer any "bad stuff" from one submissive to another.

Cooled wax from your submissives skin can easily be vacuumed up if this is done before it is ground into a carpet or into the cracks in a wood floor. Hot wax that falls on fabric is more difficult to remove. However, if you put a soft, absorbent cloth over the cooled wax and then heat the cloth with an iron, the wax will melt and be absorbed into the cloth. I have had particularly good luck with using this technique on a black, velvet-covered chair I occasionally use for waxing.

Leather hoods, straps and clothing can be cleaned with commercial leather cleaner. In the previous edition I recommended saddle soap, but so many expert leather workers have told me I was wrong that Ill concede error and go with their recommendation. Every six months or so, leather articles should be treated with neats foot oil. You should use several light coats and finish by polishing with a soft cloth, while being careful not to use too much. You want to oil it, not drown it. If leather has to be stored, simply hang it up. Do not seal it in plastic, because it needs air.

Because leather whips come in such intimate, and forceful, contact with the submissives skin, there is a chance that they could pick up a bit of blood. For this reason, first, wipe them with a rag soaked in hot, soapy water; then, with an alcohol-dampened rag and, finally, with a rag soaked in hot clean water. After the whips have been allowed to dry, they should be lubricated to prevent them from becoming stiff.

I use a thin layer of butter to soften whip tails. It is a natural lubricant that contains little to irritate or inflame sensitive or broken skin. I just stroke it on and rub the surface dry. Some other dominants use mink oil for the softening agent. Saddle soap can also be used, but because it contains chemicals that could cause an allergic reaction, I tend to avoid it.

Toys like dildos, douche nozzles, or knives should be washed in hot, soapy water wiped with a mixture of one part household bleach and nine parts water. I strongly recommend that you not use the same toy on different submissives. Dildos can be made easier to clean by covering them before use with a condom.

Vibrators should be wiped with a rag soaked in hot, soapy water and another with ten percent bleach. However, because of the construction of most vibrators, they cannot be soaked. Instead, they should be covered with a condom before use. For those too large to cover with a condom (although you will be surprised how much one stretches), use a surgical glove. Some vibrators like the Hitachi Magic Wand and the Oster Stick Massager have attachments that can be soaked in water-bleach mixture. Another approach is to use a laboratory sanitizer like Hibiclens, letting it sit for about ten minutes and wiping with warm water.

Rope and nylon strapping can be washed in an ordinary washing machine. However, you should first put them into a bag to minimize knotting and to prevent them from becoming tangled in the agitator. A mesh bag like those used to wash delicate fabrics is ideal. However, a pillow case will do.

TENS accessories combine a number of cleaning problems. The insertable toys have internal contacts that can be hard to reach and may react badly to immersion in a bleach solution, and condoms arent useful because they are insulators. About the only way to be confident of disinfection is to use an autoclave or pressure cooker for at least a half hour. Another approach is a spray with a laboratory sanitizer using the approach mentioned above. Some external contacts made from rubber can be cleaned with a bleach solution, but the leather ones should be cleaned like any other leather toy.

Condoms, dental dams, finger cots and latex gloves should be sealed in a plastic bag with a bit of alcohol and disposed of in the trash. Ideally, they should be treated like biohazard materials and incinerated in a sanitary manner, but sometimes the principal way to make sure that the wrong thing is done is to make the right thing too complex to do. Lets just keep it simple, and dispose of them in a sealed container full of alcohol fumes.


Input:
 Write a sample contract between two dominant/submissive couples, outlining their agreed-upon terms and conditions for their relationship. The contract should have a clear structure, such as numbered or bullet-pointed sections, and be written in a formal tone.

The contract should cover the following essential elements:

1) The mutual agreement between the two parties to enter into the relationship and their respective roles, including the submissive's agreement to surrender control to the dominant.

2) The dominant's responsibility for the submissive's well-bes safety and limits.

3) The acceptable and forbidden activities, including any hard limits, safe words, and safety protocols.

4) The duration and termination of the contract, as well as any renewal or modification clauses.

5) The level of exclusivity expected, including any exceptions for pre-existing relationships or arrangements.

6) The consequences for breaking the contract.

The contract must be explicit and detailed, reflecting the unique dynamic between the couple.

Following the contract, include a brief description of the negotiations and additions made between the couples at a later date, outlining any changes to the original agreement.

Response:
**Appendix: Contracts**

Here are the contracts entered into by two dominant/submissive couples. The styles are quite different, but the basic features remain constant.

**Master Morgans and Leahs contract:**

  1. Leah agrees to place control of her body, thoughts, and behaviors in the hands of Master Morgan while they are in direct contact. She will follow all commands that fit within the limits of this contract completely, faithfully, and with immediate speed. She will answer all questions honestly and completely. She agrees to receive punishment if she fails to comply with the above.
  2. Master Morgan accepts the responsibility for leading Leah in the exploration of her sexuality. Morgan agrees to protect Leahs sense of internal self-worth while removing ego barriers that have prohibited her from exploring these areas on her own. Morgan agrees to a long-term goal that Leah will become comfortable in the knowledge of her sexual desires, as expanded by this training. She shall achieve her "graduation" when she is able to control her own sexuality because her restructured sexual ego and sense of self-esteem are in harmony.

The choice of behaviors, sexual partners, physical devices, and punishments is determined by Master Morgan, with the following exceptions:

    * Leah may stop any activity at any time by the clear use of her safeword;
    * Leah and Morgan may leave this agreement temporarily and return to the outside world at any time simply by requesting it;
  3. While the level of acceptable force will be learned by mutual exploration and may change with time, nothing will be done to cause physical injury to Leah. Nor will she be exposed to risks of pregnancy, arrest, or disease.
  4. Verbal humiliation will be used only as it affects Leahs preconceived notions about sexual morality. It will never be used to describe her general worth as a human being nor her non-sexual behaviors, except her unwillingness to follow orders.
  5. This contract expires immediately upon clear notice by either party that the contract is terminated.

**Sir Spencers and Ms contract:**

That the two of us have become united as closely as we have in our lives, I now unite and align myself with you in the signing of this agreement and state as carefully my own additional commitment to the strength and assurance of our relationship. We thus compose and provide this document as our original "Agreement of Submission," as a statement of our devotion to our continued relationship and to provide the sense of solidity that we both so very much want.

Of my own free will, as of (date), I, (Ms name here), hereby submit to you as my master, and grant you full ownership and use of my body and mind from now until (date about six months later). I further understand and agree to the conditions of the sharing of my body, mind, heart, and soul which I desire to give over to you, and submission as you have detailed herein.

I will strive diligently to acquaint my personal self, my habits, and my attitudes with those that are in that are in keeping with your particular interests and desires for me as your submissive. I will thus always seek to discover new ways of pleasing you and will be observant that I always do those things that you have already indicated that you enjoy. I will gracefully accept any criticism you may choose to inform me of.

For example, when deciding modes of dress, rather than dictating what they should be in this document, to maintain a more flexible position, I am allowed by you here to assist in the planning and negotiation of what forms and fashions of apparel are to be worn by me.

As another example, I will gladly honor at your desire and request, to undertake the public display and to exhibit the exact condition of the state of my submission through the symbols we have chosen and will choose in the future.

I will not conceal or hold private from you, any aspects of this component of my life and existence. I will advise you immediately and without hesitation of all events and occurrences in this and related aspects of my life. Especially, of anything which may affect our special relationship and the condition and status of my ownership and submission.

Thus to this end, I will always look toward and seek your kind assistance. I will be firm in my assurance with conviction and understanding, that you do hold with love and concern, my best and highest interests. I will try to please you and thus achieve any rewards you may so kindly deign to give me. I will obey you at all times and will wholeheartedly seek your pleasure and well-being above all other considerations.

Accordingly, I know that you sincerely have my own safety and hopes at heart and will thus ensure that my obedience is complete and I thus may safely entrust myself to your exacting care and attention with no fears or apprehensions on my part.

I am aware that this agreement is not to be considered as being synonymous with a slave contract. In the main intent and context of our agreement, I will obey you at all times during the period of this agreement.

Again, in keeping with the context and intent of this document, I thus give over to you the direction of my own privileges to my own pleasure, comfort, or gratification insofar as you desire or permit them. Or in this aspect I will, at all times, first ask you for your kind permission, before I may be allowed to enjoy my own pleasure in some particular manner or way. This would be any type of activity at all beyond routine sexual "self-pleasure," which use and frequency, you have allowed me to negotiate with you.

In keeping with the intent of this agreement, I will answer any question posed by you immediately and without hesitation, fully and truthfully. As a counterpoint to this, and as you have expressly wished, I will understand that you want me to feel free to express, also without hesitation any question, interest, desire or need, in keeping with the nature and condition of my submission and my desire for your pleasure; knowing that you do insist upon this questioning. However, I am first to ask permission in any case that I may desire to do something or to ask you a question.

In regard to the conditions of my ownership I agree to the following. I freely offer to you, in this aspect, the full and sole possession of my self; and that with the addition of the special clauses detailed herein, the condition of my ownership shall be fully determined by you.

As to exclusivity: As we have discussed and agreed; in addition to the condition of ownership, you have hereby allowed me to share time and activity in submitting to J.W. as my Mentor, just as you are my Master. For this additional consideration, I am very grateful to you and to J.W., as I know it will please both you and he, to allow for this arrangement.

In regard to the giving of myself to any other Masters, Mistresses, or any Dominants of any design, I hereby renounce any rights or privileges to do so; unless by special arrangement discussed with you directly, on an exception basis, and which may also include a three-way discussion between you, myself and Mentor J.W.

Also in connection with the conditions of my submission and ownership, I will also be responsible to maintain myself in condition pleasing to you. I will heed your wishes as regards to during which portions of my day to day existence you wish me to be fully aware of the condition of my ownership and submission, and during what times of day and night these requirements are to be in force.

I also understand that you will determine any occurrences of our encounters, but that also during times in between our personal encounters, in order to please you, I may be also required to engage in my own remote training at your direction.

I understand that I need to maintain my own personal diary of events and emotions that I have had and felt since the very moment that I began to embark on this unique life adventure. Therefore I know that it is my responsibility to dutifully maintain my diary, and from time to time read to you from it, upon your request.

I understand that my failure to comply in any way with the intent, or with the clauses and conditions of this contract will constitute sufficient cause for me to face possible punishment of your sole determination.

Accordingly, I have humbly and at your instigation asked for the single "safe" word of "Prodigy," should I need to plea for a cessation of some treatment. You have assured me here and now that we may discuss and agree to any future change or addition to safety signal.

You have further assured me herein that you may give audience to my pleas in regards to some particular method or treatment that you may desire to place me under. I am assured and trusting, that you will always consider the current state of my limitations in making any determination and imposition of any treatments I am to receive or endure. I am fully aware with my entire conscious being that your treatments of me, my body, flesh, mind, and spirit will be imposed always with your care and love.

Beyond these requests and considerations, I graciously allow and submit myself to receive any nature of treatment that you so desire to give me.

At my request, I gratefully understand that a minimum of one weekend a month will be set aside for my personal attention and further training.

Due to the unique nature of our relationship, the duration of the agreement (contract) of this relationship has been determined as stated at the top of this document. At a time approaching the termination of this agreement, you have assured me that you and I will discuss its renewal.

Also at that time any planning for modifications or updating of the terms and clauses of the agreement may be discussed. As that time I understand, as you have told me, that we may discuss some sort of award based on my successful and pleasing completion of the terms of this agreement. The nature of this award may take the form of some type of emblem or insignia, or even some adornment, be it of a temporary or permanent nature, to mark the end of this first period of my grateful submission. Future emblematic awards may be further granted at the ends of each subsequent passing period of renewal as representative of the continuation and deepening of our relationship.

«the following added at a later date, as negotiated»

I, (Spencers name here), vow to keep myself only unto you, in these things which we share and enjoy with each other, and participate with no others, except those which we have already discussed with other. This would include the clause in our main agreement document for Mentor, and now in this addendum for myself, to participate on occasion with KT and AI. I will hereby also vow that I will not engage in, nor seek to engage in any new activities with any parties, unless you, and I have thoroughly and completely assessed and discussed the particulars of the situation with each other, and are both in complete agreement and anticipation of such outside activity.

Excluding the exceptions already stated, we will not engage in any of these pursuits without the presence of the other. As our two rings which we will always wear have become symbols of our relationship.


Input:
  Describe the handkerchief code used in BDSM and kink communities, where different colored handkerchiefs signify different sexual preferences and interests.

Mention that there is no universal agreement on the code, and that it varies by region and community.

List some of the more common colors and their meanings, such as black for heavy BDSM, gray for bondage, red for fisting, dark blue for anal sex, light blue for oral sex, purple for piercing, green for paid sex, brown for scat play, yellow for piss play, pink for breast fondling, orange for anything goes, white for novices, white lace for Victorian scenes, and maroon for menstruation play.

Give an example of how someone mistook the code and approach strangers with inappropriate assumptions.

Warning: Adult content - The prompt describes sexual activities and may include graphic language.

Response:
**Appendix: What color is _your_ handkerchief?**

Almost everyone who has come in contact with the scene has heard about "the handkerchief code"; even the title of this section was taken from a well-respected, although out-of-publication, book by the lesbian BDSM group, Samois. However, to most people, the signals remain a mystery. There is a good reason for this: There is no consistent nationwide, mutually agreed upon set of signals. Each city and group has some local or personal variation from a ambiguous and nebulous norm. Handkerchief codes are most common in gay and lesbian circles, but some hetero groups have adopted them.

The closest thing to a norm is a vague agreement that right side display indicates submissive and left dominant, but in the real world, a handkerchief in the left pocket or a set of keys on the left side of the pants may simply indicate a left handed person.

Some of the more common colors are:

Black = Heavy into the scene

Gray = Bondage

Red = Fistfucker

Dark blue = Anal sex

Light blue = Oral sex

Purple = Into piercing

Green = Wants money or is willing to pay

Brown = Shit scenes (Scat)

Yellow = Piss scenes (Golden Showers)

Pink = Breast fondler

Orange = Anything goes

White = Wants or is novice

White Lace = Victorian scenes (lesbian or CD)

Maroon = Likes menstruating women or is menstruating (lesbian)

Unfortunately, to make things even more complex, headbangers and other fringe groups have adopted wearing handkerchiefs in their belts or carrying them in their pockets recognizing only that they indicate some sort of socially forbidden behavior.

Once, at an TES meeting, Lenny, the owner of The Vault and a large, imposing gentleman who clearly has had more than a passing acquaintance with leather and motorcycles, told with glee about approaching two youngsters who were defiantly sporting brightly colored handkerchiefs in their pockets. As he told it, he walked up to them, pointedly looked at their handkerchiefs while they tried to decide whether to run or to stand their ground and said, "So, you want to get your asses fucked and drink some piss." That persuaded them. They ran.


Input:
 Write a questionnaire designed by Master Spencer, a colleague, to explore the fantasies of submissives. The questionnaire is divided into four parts: preliminary ideas, roles and fantasies, play and treatments, and scene setup and costumes.

The first part, preliminary ideas, should ask about preferences for planning and spontaneity, and whether the submissive prefers knowing what will happen or prefers surprises.

The second part, roles and fantasies, should cover various scenarios such as present-day roles with or without fantasy elements, historical or fantasy roles, and forced or voluntary submission.

The third part, play and treatments, should ask about preferences for specific types of activities and treatments, as well as things the submissive dislikes or can't handle. There should be a section for the submissive to express any boundaries they have and list any safety signals or words they use. It should also suggest using a "punishment jar" where punishments of different levels are written on slips of paper and randomly drawn during the scene.

The final part, scene setup and costumes, should ask about the submissive's preferences for costumes, music, videos, and refreshments.

Response:
**Appendix: Spencers Questionnaire**

The following is a questionnaire that a colleague, Master Spencer, developed for delving into the fantasies of submissives.

  1. Preliminary Idea/Format: Do you like something that is highly planned, or spontaneous, unplanned and unstructured? Or perhaps something with elements of both?
    1. Do you like the planning and negotiating to be verbal or written or a little bit of both? Do you prefer knowing what will happen:
      * completely
      * mostly
      * somewhat
      * very little
      * not at all
  2. Roles and Fantasies (Those that you like to be doing as the Bottom):
    1. A role which is set in the present, the here and now, and you are "yourself," and "getting it" just as you are. For example just because you "like to" or to "atone" for certain emotions present or past.
    2. A role which is set in the present, and you are being "yourself," but some "fantasy" becomes more involved in these roles. For example, you are "in role" as a type of person who has certain faults and failings for which you need to atone, be corrected, or punished for. In these types of roles you may either "remember" and describe the things you need correction for, or may maintain an "imaginary" or real "Log Book" or "Diary." Common imaginary or real failings are such things as:
      * Assignments and things not carried out.
      * "Faults" of timeliness: late to work, for appointments or not calling when coming home late.
      * Making a clutter, failing to clean the kitchen or the windows, failing to vacuuming or dust or do other assigned tasks.
      * Causing loss and breakage, auto fender benders, personal possessions of yourself or your Top, housewares, small collectibles, large or valuable collectibles and possessions.
      * Behaving in a naughty way like being argumentative, pouty, bored, and moody, in a foul, nasty mood or aloof, sassy, sarcastic and teasing, "flirtatious," other scandalous or exhibitionistic behavior.
      * Money things. Spending too much on big items, or too much on small items, forgetting items you were told to buy.
      * Appearance, not dressed to please deliberately, accidentally, or dressed entirely inappropriately for the occasion.
    3. Fantasy roles where you may be "being" someone other than yourself, either in cast in present day circumstances, or in times and places past.

These types of fantasy roles can be sort of grouped into several different types of circumstances. In a sense these tend to gradually increase the level of the (Bottom) players role.

      * Fantasy roles in which the "victim"/Bottom/submissive is involuntarily "captured" and/or kidnapped and either "dealt with" randomly without any reason, or as a symbol of some oppressed cause:

In the present time: by terrorists, mercenary soldiers, as "westernized" women in Islamic states, Western women by Islamic courts, by bikers, a liberal woman by a community of reactionary "survivalists", (UK) "skinheads" vs. the wealthy class, a socialite kidnapped for ransom.

Set in the past: a "heretic" by the Inquisition, the noble classes of old France and Russia, the village girl captured by de Sade, the Indian girl by cowboys or western pioneers.

      * In a very servile, subservient, even "slavelike" situation, often "punished" for very little provocation, these settings seem to be mostly in the "past":

The heroine of the Science Fantasy/Sword and Sorcerer/Sword and Sandal epic stories; Norman, S. Greene, Gene Wolfs "Shadow of the Torturer"

A slavegirl in the secret Seraglio in the Topkapi Palace of Suleiman the Magnificent in Istanbul

Girl on a plantation ruled by a tyrannical owner/overseer

Girl in an English womens reformatory about the 1880s

A young hooker being "disciplined" by her pimp

      * In a community where breaches of "standards" are dealt with most harshly by ritualistically inflicted corporal punishments:

In colonial American jails for theft

The frontier "schoolmarm" by locals

On the English country estate by the lordly masterly owner, the girl in the employ for offenses of "manor" or "manner"

Lady in her late teens or early twenties who is still receiving punishment from a stern "parental/guardian" figure.

      * In circumstances "sort of" semiforced into accepting corporal punishment when some wrong has occurred or been committed:

A modern British (or even American) woman being disciplined by her partner for something, and who both happen to have lurid BDSM lifestyle passions

Lady working in a bookstore, for being too inquisitive into subjects of sexual deviation

A store employee, where some error or pilferage is suspected

A member of a conservative/Bible-oriented secret community who punish the women for sinful thoughts or behavior.

      * An accepted submissive who is actively involved in the "lifestyle":

Assigned to go out to a "dangerous" S/M bar, and "pick up" a dominant; she is to be the "feature exhibition" at a display/exhibition at a B&D party, or a B&D club.

An actress/model in B&D flicks being done, post filming by a dominant who is getting "carried away"

A lady in a B&D parlor/salon in the US, Amsterdam, or Bangkok or simply rented out to a dominant.

      * Roles you like or prefer your Top to appear in/as:

Alternating between punishing, soothing, praising, comforting

Straightforward no-nonsense, silent, impassive, punisher

Any kind of "humiliation" dominance, or degradation

Mostly just himself/(or herself), with a touch of some of the above in it.

  3. Play and Treatments:
    1. Are there any particular types of treatments you like?
    2. What are your "turn-ons"?
    3. Any particular parts of yourself you like or prefer being "treated"?
    4. Are there any particular types of treatments you dont like, wont do or try, or cant handle?
    5. What are your "turn-offs"?
    6. Any parts of yourself you do NOT like or want to be "treated"?
    7. Anything you havent tried yet, but might want to or would like to consider? Or do you like to have things suggested and talk about them with your Top, to get some ideas about what you might like to try as things develop?
    8. What particular safety or code words or signals do you like or have?

One idea for determining to particular discipline to be appropriate for certain circumstances, is the "punishments jar" or "punishments box." Or even better, three each of these "punishments jars." One for light punishments, medium punishments, and heavy punishments. Then each type of failure, problem, or offense in the "Log Book" is accorded its own appropriate "level" of punishment to "choose" from that particular "punishments jar," Then one merely fills up the jar with little bits of paper upon which are written various punishments of the level indicated on the jar. If, for example the Bottom has recorded certain things in her "Log Book" which indicate that a punishment from the "medium" level jar is to be dealt, she gets to reach in that jar and pick one out at random, not knowing what it will be until, of course, she opens it up and reads it (aloud of course).

  4. Scene, Setup, Costume, Dress:
    1. What sort of costumes do you like to "dress up" in? Or do you like to tailor the costume to the developing scene?
    2. What sort of costumes do you like your Top to "dress up" in? Or likewise do you like him/her to also tailor the fashion to the scene?
    3. Do you like any music, or do you prefer silence, or should the scene fantasy be considered?
    4. Do you like to view appropriate B&D videos preparatory or during and in context with the scene, or while "relaxing"?
    5. Do you like any refreshments to be available?


Input: Write a detailed glossary of BDSM terms. The glossary should cover a wide range of topics including roles, activities, and safety practices. It should be formatted as a list of terms followed by their definitions. The definitions should be clear and concise, and written in a neutral tone. The glossary should also include cautions about safety and the importance of informed consent for all BDSM activities.

Response:
**Appendix: A Highly Idiosyncratic Glossary**

Ive tried to find definitions that reflect a kind of consensus among the people to whom Ive talked over these many years. However, there is hardly a term or phrase applying to BDSM over which there hasnt been some sort of flaming argument. The reader is urged to remember words are maps in a way; they guide and suggest but they arent the territory being described. In a very real way, they are like newspaper photographs. They give a certain amount of information, but when you put them under a magnifying glass, you get less... rather than more... information. Often, a word is enough, but usually a sentence is better, a paragraph better still and some concepts demand volumes. If someone comes up to me and says, "Im a slave." Ill smile and nod. If she says, "I want to be your slave," Im going to want a hell of a lot more information.

Age Play — A role play where one or both partners take personas of people older or younger than they really are. Common examples are Teacher/Schoolgirl, Babysitter/Naughty child.

Animal Play — The assumption of the persona of an animal by the submissive, usually in conjunction with some sort of use or training by the dominant. See Pony Play.

Alternate lifestyle — An umbrella term for those whose sexuality is not in the common mold. Includes BDSM, swingers, gays.

Auction — An activity that often takes place in BDSM clubs where dominants and submissives are put on auction. Usually, the rules require that any resulting scene take place in the club during the evening the event took place. Further restrictions are common.

B&D — Bondage and Discipline. A subgroup within BDSM which is largely involved in making the submissive physically helpless and applying stimuli which outside of a scene would be painful. See Bondage. See Discipline

Bastinado — Striking or whipping the feet with a cane or rod.

Ball dancing — Using temporary piercings as attachment points for balls, bells and other small weights and then moving in such a way as to make them swing and ring.

Birching — Striking with single birch rods or bundles of birch twigs. Often causes minor scratches and is considered a mild form of blood play.

Black snake — Single tail whip that is flexible throughout its entire length, including where the users hand rests.

Blood sports — A group of techniques in which the submissives skin is broken and blood is allowed to escape. Since the advent of AIDS and the spread of hepatitis, those who practice blood sports have developed techniques to protect themselves. The most common blood sport is cutting. See Cutting.

Bondage — A group of techniques for rendering a submissive physically helpless. These include rope ties, handcuffs and manacles, wrapping and mummification. See B&D. See Mummification. See Decorative binding. See Immobilization.

Bottom — Someone who engages in stimulation play as the receiver of the stimulation but who does create a semblance of submission as part of his or her play.

Bottom drop — A kind of seeming depression that may follow scenes. It is hypothesized that the body interprets the return to normal sensation levels as a depression and the mind creates a further downward spiral in attempting to explain the perceived depression.

Boundaries — Limits agreed to during negotiation.

Branding — Burning the skin with a piece of hot metal, usually to create a design.

Breath control — A form of play where the dominant controls the breathing of the submissive. This may be through air-tight masks, strangulation, drowning or other techniques. The safety of this activity is the subject of major debate within the BDSM community, with many holding that it is impossible to do with reliable safety. The majority of BDSM related deaths (solo or partner play) have come from breath control play.

Brown showers – Defecation upon a submissive.

Canes — Not the type used by people to walk with. In BDSM, they are thin and flexible. Traditional ones are rattan. Recently, space age materials have been used with great success. Avoid bamboo canes as they have a tendency to split and produce edges that can cut the skin.

Cat — A multi-tailed whip. For purists, the only true cat is made from unwinding a thick rope in the naval tradition.

Catheterization — Inserting a sterile tube into the urethra for the purpose of controlling urination.

CBT — Cock and ball torture.

Cicatrization — Scarification. Making cuts in the skin for the purpose of creating a pattern of scars.

Code words — Another term for safeword used by some dominants and submissives.

Collared — To have accepted a collar from a dominant. This presumes a certain degree of continued submission the degree of which is up to the individuals involved and may range from highly dedicated to extremely casual.

Consensual — Agreed to. Most people feel that informed consent is necessary during all BDSM play. This means that both parties are aware of the inherent risks and accept them.

Crashing — See Bottom drop.

Cupping — Use of a vacuum device to stimulate the submissives skin, often the nipples. The vacuum can be created by suction cups, vacuum pumps or heating the air in a rigid container and allowing it to cool.

Cutting — A technique in which cuts are carefully made in the sub-missives skin to produce an aesthetically pleasing pattern and stimulation to the submissive. The cuts are sometimes made into permanent markings by placing sterile foreign substances in them before they heal. See Blood sports.

Decorative binding — Using rope or cord to compress or tie a portion of the body where struggle will not cause it to tighten or cut into the submissive. See Immobilization.

Discipline — The application of stimuli which, outside of a scene, would be considered painful. Common discipline techniques are whipping, spanking and strapping. See B&D.

Do-me queen — (derogatory) A person of either gender whose entire involvement in the scene is totally for his or her pleasure. Usually these people take a pseudo-submissive orientation, and being involved with one can be very frustrating and draining for the dominant.

Dominant — An individual who accepts the submissives power and uses it for their mutual pleasure. See Sadist.

Edgeplay — These are particularly dangerous BDSM that are looked upon with some trepidation. Because there is no formal "ruling body" in BDSM, what is called edgeplay is up to the individual. Therefore, something that to one person might be considered edgeplay might not be edgeplay to another.

Edgeplayer — A person takes part in edgeplay. Example: "The guy is a real edgeplayer; hes into heavy bloodsports and asphyxia."

Electro-play/Electro-torture — Using electricity in one or more of its many guises to create intense stimulation during a scene.

Encasement — Sealing the male genitals in a sack or ball to prevent them from being stimulated in any way.

Endorphins — Chemicals similar to opiates created by the body to deal with stress and pain. "Runners High" is due to these. Much of scene play, particularly intense stimulation, is aimed at producing the release of endorphins.

English/English Arts — Spanking and caning.

Erotic embarrassment — "Forcing" a submissive to dress, speak or perform acts that he or she actually desires but has been restrained by societal pressures.

Fetish — In psychological terms, one has a fetish when an article, action or sensation replaces a human being as the primary stimulus for arousal. In the scene, it is more liberally interpreted and often simply means an intense desire for as in "I have a fetish for leather."

Fireplay — Either caressing another with a flame or creating a burst of flame on his or her body. This can be done quite safely and need not even be slightly painful.

Flogger — A multi-tailed whip usually with flat tresses. Generally a thud toy.

German/German Arts — Sadomasochist play.

Go word — A signal by the submissive that everything is all right and you can continue with or increase the present level of stimulation. See Safeword, Stop word, Slow word.

Golden showers — A humiliation technique where the dominant urinates on the submissive. Consumption of the urine may be part of this scene.

Heavy play — Intense but like so much in the scene, subjective. What is heavy play for one is a light warm-up for another.

Humiliation — In this book, I try to differentiate humiliation from erotic embarrassment. Humiliation is to express hurtful words or force a submissive into acts designed to reduce his or her self-esteem.

Immobilization — Using rope or other bondage tools to render a submissive relatively helpless despite his or her struggles. See Decorative binding.

Infantilism — Roleplay where the submissive partner assumes the behavior and dress of an infant. Pure fantasy, as all children are actually nonconsensual dominants.

Kajira — A sex/pleasure slave taken from the Gor series. This fantasy is seen much more in the on-line world than in extended face to face play, since it is generally a cartoon of BDSM life.

Knife play — Using a knife as part of a scene. Often does not involve cutting, but is used it to gently scratch the surface of the skin, threaten, stimulate.

Knout — A very vicious single tailed whip from Russia. It can be highly dangerous since a single blow has been known to kill.

Lacing — Connecting temporary piercings with thread or light chain. The piercings may be connected to each other or to a framework.

Masochism — The ability to derive pleasure from pain. Derives from the writings of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. See S&M.

OTK — Over the knee. A form of spanking.

Pain slut — (NOT derogatory) Someone who glories in receiving what most would call intense pain.

Panic snap — A linking device used with cable and chain that allows two lengths to be disconnected even when there is tension in the system. A safety device.

Player — A great example why no one should feel shy about asking "What do you mean by this." There are two antithetical definitions. One, most often seen in the online world and in certain subcultures holds that a person so named "plays" people and therefore is not to be trusted. Another definition from the intelligence, law enforcement and gambling communities is that the person is skilled at "playing the game" and therefore is to be taken seriously.

Play piercing — see Temporary Piercing.

Pony play — Pony play combines elements of bondage, display, control and service to create a unique kink that is enjoyed by a very active subgroup within the BDSM community. Basically, in pony play, the submissive takes the role of a pony and is used and presented as such. Pony play can include sophisticated, lovely and expensive "rigs" including harnesses, saddles, bridles and even carts. The pony can carry or pull the dominant or can be put through elaborate dressage movements guided by the signals of either a mounted rider or dismounted trainer. See Animal Play

Pushing limits — The gradual expansion of a dominants and a submissive repertoire as he or she gains confidence and seeks new challenges. A wise axiom is "Never say, "Ill never."

Queening — A dominant woman sitting on a submissive persons face for the purposes of breath control. Purists insist that cunnilingus should not take place, but it often does.

Roman showers — Vomiting upon a submissive.

S&M — Sadism and Masochism — A term often used to describe the BDSM scene; however, it is falling into disrepute because it is both inaccurate (dominants are not sadists) and overly limited (all submissives are not masochists). See Sadism. See Masochism.

Sadist — An individual who enjoys causing pain in a non-consensual manner or regardless of the presence of absence of consent. Derives from the writings of the Marquis de Sade. See S&M.

Safe, Sane and Consensual — A slogan popular in the scene defining the components of proper play. Like any slogan, it is oversimplified and the topic of much debate, but it does get its point across.

Safeword — A word or phrase which permits the submissive to withdraw consent and terminate the scene at any point without endangering the illusion that the dominant is in complete control. See Slow word. See Go word.

Saint Catherines wheel — A vertical wheel to which a submissive can be strapped and spun around.

Saint Andrews cross — An X-shaped cross.

SAM — Smart Assed Masochist. A pseudo-submissive who attempts to control everything the dominant does. A term of contempt. Example: "Shes cute and willing, but shes a real SAM; you will spend most of your time trying to keep her from telling you which whip to use and how to swing it." See "Topping From the Bottom."

Scat — A slang term for scatophilia, taking pleasure in playing with and sometimes eating feces. While this is occasionally used as a means of humiliation, it presents a relatively severe health risk, not limited to AIDS and hepatitis.

Scene (A) — An individual session of whatever duration where the participants are in their BDSM roles. Example: "It was a tremendously hot scene last night when Master Carl waxed Linda at The Vault."

Scene (The) — The gamut of BDSM activities and people considered as a whole. Example: "The scene contains some of the nicest people I have ever met." Its an umbrella word that covers a lot.

Scrotal expansion — Injecting sterile saline into the male ball sack, causing it to expand significantly.

Sensory deprivation — A form of restraint where all sensory input is systematically cut off through blindfolds, ear plugs or earphones and secure but non-painful bondage

Slave — Often used interchangeably with submissive. However, generally reflecting a more intense level of submission or non-sexual or sexual-plus submission. For example, a slave might be someone who remains in a 24-hour-per-day submission and cooks, cleans and, otherwise, takes care of a dominants house. See submissive.

Slow word — A signal by the submissive that things are getting too intense and you should change or decrease the stimulation. See Safeword. See Go word.

Sound — A medical device shaped like a curved rod that is inserted into the uretha

Squick — A cyber term that has moved into the off-line world. Coined by STella of ASB, it means, essentially, "This disgusts me."

Stapling — Temporary piercing and lacing done with a surgical stapler and sterile medical staples.

Strapple — An elongated paddle with a bit more flex so that is something intermediate between a strap and a paddle.

Sting — A sensation from a toy that is "stingy," as distinguished from "thud." Intense surface sensation.

Submissive — An individual who gives up power in a BDSM relationship for the mutual pleasure of those involved.

Suspension — A set of techniques for suspending a submissive using ropes, webbing or chain so that no part of the body touches the floor. This is a highly specialized technique and great care must be used to prevent damage.

Switch (Switchable) — A person who enjoys both the dominant/top and submissive/bottom roles. A switch may be dominant to one person and submissive with another or may be dominant or submissive with the same person at different times.

Sub drop — See Bottom drop.

Temporary piercing — Using a sterile needle to penetrate the skin as a stimulation rather than to produce a hole to be used for jewelry as in conventional piercing. See Lacing and Ball dancing.

Thud — Sensation from a toy that is largely impact and felt deeply in the body, often moving the body itself. Distinguished from "sting."

Top — A person who in play delivers the stimulation but does not require the submission of his or her partner.

Top drop — See Bottom drop.

Topping from the bottom — (derogatory) For a submissive to dictate the precise action in a scene. A term of contempt. Example: "Shes cute and willing, but shes always topping from the bottom; you will spend most of your time trying to keep her from telling you which whip to use and how to swing it." See "SAM.

Tops disease — A condition where a top or dominant projects the fantasy role into the real world with an assumption of superiority. This kind of person can be a real pain in the ass.

True — A term when used in conjunction with "master," "dominant," "slave" or similar term rates, at best, a snicker. As a putdown to others, it says much more about the one who is using it than the one who is being put down.

TT — Tit torture. The term applies to both males and females. Urtication — Using stinging nettles in scene play. They can be simply pressed into the skin or used as a whip.

Vanilla — Not in the scene. A term used to describe ordinary, conventional life both sexual and otherwise. While it can be used in a pejorative sense, it is more often used to distinguish between scene and non-scene activities and people. Example: "I have to be careful in my vanilla life that people dont find out that Im a dominant."

Violet wand — An antique medical device still being manufactured that creates a large, but harmless, spark and is used extensively in electro play scenes.

YKINMK-BYKIOK — A mantra by many in the scene. Your Kink Is Not My Kink, But Your Kink Is OK. Intended to point out that our desires and needs do not define the scene for others.

Wrapping — Allowing the ends of a whip to go around the targets body rather than hit cleanly in the target zone. When done unintentionally, it is a mark of a careless or inexperienced whipper and is usually caused by standing too close to the subject. The intensity of the stroke is magnified several times wrapping.

Wartenburg wheel — A spiked pinwheel intended for use by neurologists but taken up and used for play by ingenious scene players. The sensation looks intense but is generally perceived as pleasurable.